Belladventure!
by Kiara212
Summary: The Cullen's go to Africa, but everything turns to chaos! Jasper's mental, Carlisle and Alice with a camera is an impending disaster and why are those cannibals chasing them? There are a lot of adventures to be had in Africa! I don't own Twilight.
1. Here We Go Again

Chapter 1

Disclaimer – I do not own Twilight or any of the characters featured in this story.

"I can't believe we're going to Africa!" Renesmee squealed as they boarded the plane.

"Yeah, we can hunt anacondas and tigers!" Emmett enthused, a few seats down.

"Emmett!" Bella hissed. They were on a public aeroplane. Though it was first class. The air steward came around to offer champagne, and stared agape as she took in the Cullen family's beautiful faces. She looked almost relieved when she saw Jacob's not so beautiful face in comparison to the vampire family he was sitting next to. The air stewardess said nothing, so Jacob gratefully reached out and took a glass, before giving the woman a 'get-out-of-here-now' grin. She did so dutifully, though she looked like she might be hyperventilating in the back. Bella sighed, she wasn't used to people gaping at awe, at _her_. Well, she smiled, she had forever to come around to the idea. She wished she had taken a champagne glass so she could knock it with Jacob's. She looked over to him and back to Renesmee, sitting two seats down next to Edward.

"I know." Rosalie sighed too. "Who invited the _dog_?" She sneered, and Bella tried to correct her mistake, but Edward stopped her.

"Jacob is Nessie's guest. Be nice, Rosalie" Jacob snorted. They all looked down to him.

"Rosalie! Be nice! There's something that will never happen" Rosalie huffed.

"Not to you anyway" her nose wrinkled as she looked away. Esme next to her intervened.

"Be nice. You wouldn't behave this way to any other guest, and we all have to get along for the next few weeks." It sounded like kind words, but all of them could hear the warning behind them. Carlisle, next to her, backed her up.

"Remember, we can't just go our separate ways, we all have to stick together, this is unknown territory, and some may feel threatened by us" Carlisle's words would have confused any nearby humans listening, but everyone understood his words. They couldn't come back with less of a family than they came with. They all listened to the safety information, but they'd heard it all before. Edward knew they had very little chance of any of the described emergencies happening, and its not if they were some fragile humans. They could skydive without safety equipment and simply walk away. He had wanted to try skydiving, but couldn't find anyone who would take him sans safety equipment. Flying a plane was one of the only things he had no experience with. He made himself a deal, if the plane crashed, he'd learn how to fly. He snorted as he realised that may be the one thing he never does. Bella looked at him quizzically, but he shook his head. She still listened intently to the safety instructions, he smiled as he realised that sometimes she still thought of herself as 'breakable'. The phrase was slightly more applicable now, seeing as her newborn strength had worn off. He remembered her expression when Emmett had finally won an arm wrestling match. The memory took him all the way to take off, until they were in the air, and the long journey began.

"I'm going to go to the toilet" Jacob said, getting up from his seat.

"Ugh, announce it to everyone, why don't you?" Rosalie hissed. He smiled, and cupped his hands. Bella looked on quizzically until he started speaking.

"EVERYONE. I AM GOING-" Bella, embarrassed pulled him back down.

"Jacob! You can't do that!" She was mortified, so spoke in whispers. Jacob simply grinned.

"Bells, unless you want me to embarrass you further by peeing myself, you better let me up" Jacob said. She didn't know if he was bluffing.

"Fine" he shrugged and grabbed his drink, wincing slightly in concentration.

"No! Go NOW!" She pushed him out of his seat and kicked him into the aisle, laughing all the way. Nessie was laughing. Her look silenced her.

"Kids" Edward rolled his eyes next to her. She laid back against the chair, exasperated. Bella closed her eyes, and to anyone else it would have looked like she was sleeping, if such a thing were possible. Instead she thought about how stressful this trip might be, and if she would end up being the one who got them all to go home early. She didn't want to be a spoilsport, but she wasn't sure how much fighting she could put up with. A noise broke her from her reverie. Her eyes flipped open and she looked to where the noise had come from. It was Alice, her face wide eyed and panicked. Bella had barely noticed her, she hadn't said much since she had gotten on the plane. That was probably due to the fact that Jasper had gallantly taken a seat in second class, as there were no more places in first. Rosalie had tried to force Jacob to take the seat, and getting in a few comments about how that would be a step up for him, but Renesmee had been sad enough that Jasper had volunteered. Bella looked back to see them all watching Alice, and her changing expression. Bella recognised the vacant look that told her Alice was scouring the future. Quickly Alice's face changed and she grabbed Rosalie's hand and pulled her up.

"Rose! Come now!" The two ran off down the aisle at infuriatingly slow human pace, and Bella watched them disappear into the cockpit.

"Uh, I don't think they're meant to go in there" Bella said, looking around to Edward. He looked confused, then sighed, his head in his hands.

"Stupid, stupid Jacob" he moaned into his hands. What had Jacob done now? Renesmee looked even more worried than Edward did.

"What's Jacob done!" She half screeched. She was frantic now, bouncing in her seat as she tried to see over the seats for Jacob's tall form. Carlisle, asked Edward more calmly.

"Edward." He waited until Edward faced him. "What has Jacob done?" In his wise, calm voice, it was hard not to think that nothing was wrong, and that everything was fine. Then Bella realised it was Jacob, and the mortifying despair kicked in again.

"Has he wet himself? Oh, I shouldn't have doubted him. Now they're probably moping it up right now, and Alice and Rosalie are preventing a scene. Oh, but the stewards will know. Oh no!" Bella's head sunk into her hands, mimicking Edward's previous moment, as she felt the internal blush that would never come.

"It's slightly more serious than that love" Edward whispered to her. Bella rose up from her hunched position.

"What?" Nessie looked worried. They all did. Edward sighed before revealing what he knew.

"Jacob has somehow managed to incapacitate the pilot. Alice and Rosalie are trying to steady the plane" Edward hunched again, in despair and tragedy.

"But none of them have a pilots licence!" Esme whispered, looking around worriedly.

"I know. That's why Alice took Rosalie, if anyone has a hope of figuring it out, she will." Nessie was about to break into tears. Bella automatically put her arm around her. Renesmee started bawling.

"Shh. We don't to cause a scene" Carlisle's words were not harsh, but they knew the solid implication behind them. No one could find out about this.

"Is everything alright here?" It was a male air steward this time, he seemed less surprised by the magical beauty that the entire family held, the other stewardess must have warned them.

"Yes, my granddaughter just gets a bit scared on planes" Esme lied casually to the attendant. Her eyes widened as she looked back to Carlisle and then the attendant. "Could you take me to second class? I need to get my son Jasper" the steward nodded and Esme shot a look back at the family. They watched her go with sad eyes.

"What's happening?" Renesmee sniffled, drying her eyes on Bella's shirt. Bella tucked her into her body tighter.

"It's not good news. The plane is slowly heading downwards, they can't get it to steady" as soon as Edward said this they felt the plane declining. There were a few worried gasps from the passengers around them, and Edward thought of the deal he made to himself earlier. Maybe he would have to purchase flying lessons when he got back.

"What's going on?" Japser was coming back now, with Esme behind him. She looked just as distraught as before.

"I'm going to get Jacob" Bella couldn't stand not knowing anymore. She got up, Renesmee gripping onto her tee-shirt. She carefully unhinged her and whispered 'I'll be right back'. No one else apart from Edward registered her movements, they were too involved in what Edward was explaining to them again. Bella managed to get out of the aisle and moved towards the cock pit. She took a sly look behind her before entering the cock pit. And inside it was chaos. Alice and Rosalie were rushing about, pressing buttons and shouting to each other, red lights pulsing everywhere. Jacob was curled up in the corner, next to a door which she presumed was a toilet, for which he mistook for the passenger loos. She looked on wide eyed as the scene continued without anyone noticing her. It was two minutes before Jacob saw her wide eyed panic and stood up. He had been sitting a long time, she could tell by the clicks made by his bones.

"Jacob what is going on?" Bella shouted above the chaos. Jacob looked exasperated then started shouting too.

"I don't know! I mean, one minute I was using the loo, the next I walk out and this guy sees me and has a complete fit, I think I scared him, and he's old..." Jacob stopped and panted, he was out of breath. Or maybe in their panic Alice and Rosalie had turned off the oxygen. She couldn't tell. "Also he got up and started shaking his finger at me and I panicked..." he looked sheepish and turned away "I tried to get out so a pushed the loo door out the way – just to clear the door – and it accidently hit him, then he fell and now he's in the toilet..." Jacob slumped back down again.

"You beat up an old pilot! An _old man_!" Bella stood gobsmacked. She couldn't believe any of this.

"Hey it wasn't my idea to stuff him in the loo! I wanted to take him too one of the air people, he was starting to become conscious again, then Rosalie slammed open the door, and it hit his head..." Jacob looked exhausted. From behind Bella she heard Rosalie growl.

"Don't try to pin this on me, dog. This is all you!" She rushed frantically about, popping buttons while Alice manically turned the steering wheel. Bella started thinking ahead.

"But what if you do manage to land this plane? What will you say? How would you know something was happening?" Bella wished she could scour the future, to see what would happen.

"God, they're going to think we're terrorists!" Jacob cried, trying to push himself deeper into the corner.

"Vampire terrorists? There's a bad combination" Bella said. Alice barked a laugh before continuing with her pressing.

"I can't see into the future, Jacob's involvement makes it too hard, and I can't concentrate while doing this!" Her black inky hair was a blur as she streaked to the other side of the cock pit and pressed a button. It was the wrong button. There was a whooshing noise then a hole in the wall appeared, sucking anything lose with it. Jacob slid across the room and it took Bella all her strength to keep him there. Alice, so close to the open window, couldn't see at all, her eyes were closed by the force of the wind. Rosalie unhooked her arm and slid across the room to help, trying to find the right button. Just before her hair went out the window, she slammed a button down, which closed the window. All was silent for a few seconds. Then there was a noise. They froze as they heard the door opening. The three vampires' hearts would have leapt out of their chests if they were beating. Jacob's was. When they saw the familiar blonde hair, they all relaxed.

"Guys, what is going on? Your emotions are crazy in here- oh." Jasper froze as he saw the situation, the panicked faces, the fear in their eyes, the flashing red buttons.

"The planes going down?" They all nodded. "Well, make an announcement, people need to get out of here before we crash. You can't save it now" he looked at the pressure reading before continuing "the plane is too low. We have to get out of here – now." Jasper closed the door and they all stared at each other, the shock clear on their faces. Then Jacob got up. He grabbed the microphone and started speaking in a husky voice.

"Excuse me, this is your captain. I'm sorry to announce there has been a problems with the plane, and you will all have to jump. I don't know if there are enough parachutes-" Rosalie grabbed the microphone off of him.

"What are you doing!" Her voice was scathing.

"Well, I can't tell them were taking over the plane can I?" As soon as Jacob finished speaking, there was screaming throughout the plane. Oh dear. The air steward's burst into the room. They looked dumbstruck at the gathering.

"Don't just stand there! Get the parachutes! This plane is going down!" Alice shouted at the frozen staff. More squealing came from the plane.

"Turn OFF the microphone, for the love for God!" Bella screeched. Jacob obliged, flicking the switch. The stewards were gone, making arrangements for the passengers.

"We have to get everyone out!" Rosalie said, rushing out into the aisle. The Cullens were already standing, ready to go. Jasper must have told them the plan. As soon as they saw them, they rushed to the door.

"What about the other passengers?" Bella screeched. They ere going to open the air lock.

"They'll be fine" Alice looked confident. She looked over at the despairing passengers.

"Bella if we don't get out of here we'll be arrested! It might look strange if you live out your entire hundred year sentence!" Edward shouted in her ear. She nodded. She couldn't let that happen to any of her family. She took a deep breath, and Carlisle opened the air lock.

"QUICKLY, GO!" You could barely hear him over the rush of air. Bella understood. People would go out of the door if they weren't quick enough. She grabbed Renesmee and tucked her into her arms. She followed her family out one by one, until it was only her left. She took a deep breath, tore her gaze away from the crazy happenings on the plane, and threw herself into the unknown.


	2. It's A Long Way Down

Chapter 2.

Disclaimer I do not own Twilight. AN – sorry this chapters shorter than the first one, more funny I hope 

The wind whirled around Bella as she tried to keep hold of Nessie, made all the more difficult by her flailing arms. She could hear Emmett whooping in the distance, and she knew if this wasn't so traumatic she'd probably be enjoying herself too. She looked into the distance and saw Jacob, looking worriedly at the ground. How was he going to land safely? The rest of them could literally smash into the earth and they would simply walk away, and Nessie was fine as Bella was holding her. But what was Jacob going to do? Bella looked the other way and saw Alice and Rosalie, gracefully falling compared to the guys. Carlisle and Esme were holding hands, like a double fall, while the boys were a different matter entirely. It looked like they were having a competition to see who could do the best trick. They were all twisting and turning rapidly in the sky, their movemtns fluid and sinuous. Bella felt an excited atmosphere arise in her body and had no doubt that this was due to Jasper's doing. How could she feel excited when her daughter and her best friend could possibly die? But a look at the ground heightened this. She grinned over at Edward, he stopped twisting for a moment to grin back. He moved his arms and managed to air swim over to them.

"Want me to take Nessie while you play?" He grinned. Bella was uncertain. She looked over at Jacob, then Renesmee.

"Don't worry, Jacob's got a plan. If you start playing then he'll even join in!" Edward was shouting everything he was saying, the roar of the wind contending for the prize sound in Bella's sensitive ears. She looked over at Jacob, seeing Edward's persuasion he gave her a thumbs up.

"Alright!" She agreed quickly handing Renesmee over to Edward. It was difficult, but she was safely in Edward's arms in under a minute.

"Now, love, fly!" He shouted. Bella kicked her feet experimentally and screamed as she lunged into the air. She heard Emmett's booming laugh, no contest even for the howling wind, and scowled at him. She moved over to him and Jasper.

"Maybe we should sky dive more often" Jasper laughed.

"I certainly didn't this was how the plane journey would end" Rosalie and Alice had come over now, they were all in a little circle.

"Everybody join hands!" Emmett shouted.

"Emmett, this isn't a friendship circle" Bella said sceptically. He laughed.

"No, just trust me" he looked over at Jasper and he grinned back. Bella didn't like this. Reluctantly she joined hands with Rosalie and Alice. She counted two deep breaths before it happened. There had been a jolt in the circle, Emmett and Jasper's plan obviously, and they had all shot out in different directions. Bella and Alice screamed as they shot backwards, still linking hands. They twisted and convulsed together, Bella knew that this would have been very painful if she were human, but all she could see now was the sky and scenery rushing beneath her, and she felt a thrill of pleasure run through her. She wasn't sure whether it was her own or Jasper's doing, but she didn't care. This felt amazing! She closed her eyes, then opened them to see Alice's reaction. But it wasn't what she expected. It was vacant, then all of a sudden there was dread in her eyes.

"No!" Alice cried. Bella saw Jasper moving towards them, his enjoyment now taken over by worry for his beloved.

"No!" Alice cried. Bella saw Jasper moving towards them, his enjoyment now taken over by worry for his beloved.

"Alice what's wrong!" Bella shouted. She looked down, the clearing was a lot more closer now.

"Alice! Alice!" Jasper shouted behind them.

"We're going to get split up!" She looked around wildly, either for Jasper or at everyone Bella didn't know.

"Split up! Alice I don't think this is a good time to announce a break up" Jasper said, confused.

"Who's breaking up? Is it Jacob and Renesmee? I hope so, she's far too good for that _dog_" Rosalie sneered. Emmett, catching the subject of the discussion shouted over to Jacob.

"Tough break, Jake!" he chortled. Alice, looking into the future, hadn't yet corrected their mistake.

"What? What!" Jacob, confused why they were all looking at him, was getting paranoid.

"Edward what's going on!" Carlisle shouted to Edward. They were all making their way over to the group now.

"Well apparently Jacob and Renesmee are splitting up" Edward laughed. Nessie's face was appalled.

"What! No!"She whined in Edward's arms.

"Alice said we were splitting up" Edward said in a more serious tone.

"You're splitting up with Bella? What about Renesmee?" Esme cried.

"Rosalie, you cannot have _dibs_!" Edward shouted, outraged. Rose blushed, obviously Edward had heard something in Rosalie's thoughts he wasn't meant to.

"Argh! Rosalie you do not have dibs on Renesmee, neither Edward and Bella or Jacob and Nessie are splitting up, and we are all going to crash into the ground in less than four minutes!" Alice shrieked. They all looked shocked at her angry outbreak. Emmett spoilt it when he started singing 4 Minutes, by Justin Timberlake and Madonna.

"Shut up Emmett!" Rosalie hissed. He obliged, but was obviously still thinking it in his head.

"Emmett!" Edward confirmed Bella's thoughts when he hissed his name too.

"Sorry! It's a catchy song!" Emmett put his hands in the air, but put them back down again when his position wavered.

"Oh great, now I'm thinking it!" Jasper whined.

"Will everyone stop thinking about that song, it's driving me crazy!" Edward shouted. He rubbed his temples, annoyed.

"Let Alice think!" Bella shouted, interrupting their argument, she could see Alice's features crunched in concentration. They were all silent for a few moments, it didn't last. Jacob started coughing loudly, they all gave him a wide berth.

"Die _quietly_, dog" Rosalie hissed at him.

"I can't help it, I think I swallowed a fly!" Jacob spluttered in between coughs.

"Isn't the dog meant to be eaten to eat the cat?" Emmett asked.

"No, it's the other way around" Jasper said. They all looked at him confused.

"It is!" He declared.

"No because the old lady swallows the fly, so then she eats a cat to get rid of it, then she eats a dog to get rid of that..." Rosalie explained.

"Doesn't it go backwards though?" Jasper asked.

"Well that would never work, because a cat can't eat a dog" Carlisle intervened.

"If it was a small dog it could" Nessie contributed. Jacob, offended by this very conversation, looked at her outraged.

"Renesmee, how could you!" Jacob said.

"I'm the child here, I should know my childhood stories."

"Nessie, you hated those stories, you said they were too low in intelligence" Edward rebutted.

"Yes, but as the only child here I should get to contribute" Nessie crossed her arms over her chest, something that was hard to do with Edward still holding her.

"Jasper, the dog really does kill the cat" Esme kindly explained.

"You're wrong!" He shouted to everyone, pointing his finger at them.

"For the love of God, stop talking about baby stories!" Alice screeched again. They were all silent, but once again, it didn't last.

"Wrong" Jasper murmured.

"Right!" Rosalie and Emmett replied.

"None of this is going to matter in one minute because we're going to crash into the ground!" Alice said again.

"We're all going to die!" Jacob screamed dramatically.

"Well, you _are_" Rosalie laughed.

"Rose!" Edward, Bella and Renesmee warned.

"Everyone get ready!" Alice said. They all heard her, even though the wind was louder than ever as the ground rushed up to meet them.

"Three, two, one!" Emmett counted down. There were multiple screams in the air as the ground came up to meet them. Bella heard the smack as they were thrown onto the grassy ground, then saw blackness as she closed her eyes against the impact. It was silent around her. This continued for a few moments, until she heard something she fervently didn't want to hear. _We've only_ _got four minutes... _Damn! Bella buried her head deeper into the ground.


	3. ARGHHHH!

Chapter 3-

Disclaimer - I do not own Twilight.

AN - Thanks to all the people who reviewed, you rock! And to all the people who added this as favourite stories etc. I just like reviews. Enjoy!

Bella heard a barking, nearby and decided to get up. She didn't want to have to fight any wolves. She pulled herself up, and shook off the dirt. She jumped when she saw a huge russet wolf next to her, but then a second late realised it was just Jacob. Everyone else was starting to get up, and Bella realised that Renesmee was safely tucked into Edward's arms. She ran over and took her from him, hugging her with glee. They had all gotten out alive.

"Alice, I thought you said we'd get split up?" Emmett asked, strolling over to Alice. His face was still as excited as when he had been in the sky, the crash hadn't done much to waver his resolve. Bella looked around him and found a huge skid mark had been burrowed in the dirt, it looked like a comet or something from outer space had ploughed into the ground. Bella shook her head and laughed.

"Oh, we do" Alice chimed, graceful skipping to lend Jasper a hand, although he hardly needed it. He still waited patiently in the hole he had made in the ground, waiting for her assistance. Carlisle and Esme we standing next to Emmett and then Rosalie, who looked very mad. Edward chuckled when Rosalie started huffing and brushing her hair with her fingers. Suddenly her expression changed, and she became shocked. Her hand whipped up to her face.

"We don't have any clothes!" She said, looking close to tears. Edward seemed to find her shallowness amusing. Bella tried to silence him with a look.

"Well, you could go around naked" Emmett suggested, smiling gleefully at the image. The rest of them groaned at his absurdity, Jacob's howl outdoing them all.

"You groan at me being naked, what about the _dog_? No one wants to see him naked" she wrinkled her nose and even though everyone was silent, their complaint was louder than when they actually had groaned. Nessie looked contemplative.

"Nessie!" Bella hissed, scolding her. She wasn't quite ready for her daughter to be thinking like that.

"So Alice, are we splitting up?" Esme asked, raising her eyebrows. Alice's face went blank for less than a minute, then she nodded.

"Yes. We need to find the house, because that's where they'll send our stuff. But I can't see where about it is, or when we'll find it."

"So until we find the house, we have no clothes or a home?" Jasper asked. Alice nodded again.

"What are the groups?" Alice smiled. They all felt uncertain, it was a wicked smile.

"I can see the groups quite clearly. You aren't going to like them..." She warned. No one took much notice, they were already disturbed by her expression of enjoyment.

"Me and Carlisle, Esme and Emmett, Jacob and Rosalie, Edward and Renesmee, Jasper and Bella" Rosalie hissed. Emmett groaned. Bella looked down at Nessie, uncomfortable with the thought of being away from her, even if it was in the capable hands of Edward.

"Absolutely not! Why should I have to go with him?" Rosalie seethed, outraged. Jacob shook his head.

"Aw, man! I wanted to go with Jasper, so we could fight anacondas!" Emmett complained. Jasper gave him a wry smile.

"Alice, why are you going with Carlisle?" Jasper inquired.

"We have the best shot at finding the house, with my skill. Carlisle will be able to arrange everything for when you arrive.

"Why don't we all just go in one group?" Edward suggested. Alice shook her head.

"No, itself best if we go separately" they all sighed. One by one they started parting off, into different bits of the jungle. At the end, only Alice and Carlisle remained. In the distance they heard Jacob and Rosalie fighting, Jacob had phased back after it emerged he had thrown his trousers onto the floor before becoming a wolf to land safely. Carlisle shook his head.

"Did you really see them two together?" Alice laughed wickedly.

"No, I just wanted to have some fun with the grouping" Carlisle laughed too.

"It might not be so fun if they kill each other" Rosalie and Jacob were close enough to hear this, but were too busy fighting to actually take any notice of their conversation. They sighed and went off into the forest.

"So..." Bella started. She felt uncomfortable, and it appeared Jasper felt the same. He let a wave of serenity wash over them, but it wasn't enough to conceal the awkwardness. Bella hadn't really been as friendly to Jasper as the rest of them. She had tried, but even with his power it was just...strange. He never seemed to really fit in with the group dynamic. She wondered if he knew that.

"So..." Jasper laughed. Bella laughed too, but turned away to conceal her features, which would surely give away how she felt.

"So how's life, Jasper?" She asked vaguely.

"It's good, it's good" he nodded. No! She had to keep the conversation going, even if it was mindless small talk.

"Ah, that's good, that's good" Bella made an effort, and Jasper seemed to recognise it.

"The flight was quite good, wasn't it?" Bella gave him a dubious look. The flight from which they'd just had to jump off, to avoid being accused of being vampire terrorists? "Well, before we jumped off" he amended with a smile.

"Oh yeah, yeah it was. The champagne looked nice" Bella added. _Keep the conversation going._

Hmm? Oh yeah, yeah it did" all the while they were still running, looking around them for signs of a house. The critters around them shrunk into the darkness.

"It's typical that this is all Jacob's doing, isn't it?" Bella said, grasping for conversation. Jasper's nod now looked more vigorous.

"Yeah. Why is it always Jacob's fault?" Jasper asked laughing. Bella cheered internally. Through Jacob's shame they had found a comfortable positioning. Bella Cullen is the master of small talk!

"I don't know! He seems to bring trouble _everywhere_!" Bella grinned.

"Tell me about it! Do you remember when we went to do Christmas shopping, and Jacob angered that security guard*?" Jasper laughed.

*For more information, read my story The Perfect Scene! It's shameless, but it had to be done!*

The two of them carried on reminiscing about Jacob's faults and funny memories, and Bella smiled. She loved Jacob Black!

While Bella was thinking her praises for Jacob, Rosalie was cursing that he had ever been born. He was annoying the hell out of her, and she wasn't sure if she could stand it anymore.

"Hey, Blondie, why did the blonde stare at the orange juice?" Rosalie didn't answer, Jacob continued anyway. "Because it said, 'Concentrate'!" Jacob burst out laughing, and Rosalie's features darkened. She was considering severe violence. "Wait, wait, I've got another one! What would happen if a blonde spoke her mind? She'd be speechless!" Jacob hadn't paused that time, he had gone straight from one laugh into the other.

"How long do you intend to keep this up?" Rosalie growled.

"Until I run out of jokes" Jacob answered simply.

"Have you ever heard the song, 'Who Let the Dogs Out', dog?" Rosalie asked, ready to hit him whatever his answer was.

"Yeah! I love that song. I haven't heard it in ages. Thanks for reminding me!" Then Jacob sprang into loud, tuneless song, and instead of hitting him Rosalie used her hands to cover her ears. When Rosalie shrieked in anger, Jacob changed the words to 'who let the blondes out'. Alice better hope she gets there before she does, and she tried to block out the noise in daydreams, daydreams of her tearing Alice's wardrobe bit by bit.

"Sounds like Jake and Rose are having a great time" Emmett chuckled, running with Esme.

"I hope they'll be alright" Esme frowned, looking where Rosalie's screaming and Jacob's singing – if you could call it that – was coming from.

"They'll be fine" Emmett blew it off, still laughing. Esme was still worried. "Hey, do you reckon we'll find some anaconda's on the way?" Emmett asked, and in Esme's mind her worry for Rosalie and Jacob was over. A new worry had taken it's place.

"I certainly hope not!" Her voice was brusque, and not in the usual motherly way either. Emmett investigated.

"Why? It's not like they'll hurt us. They might taste a bit strange, but so does most exotic food" Esme stiffened, and her eyes were full of fright.

"I don't think so" she shook her head rigidly. Suddenly it dawned on Emmett.

"You're afraid of snakes!" He pointed at her accusingly. Esme turned away, a clear sign that he was right.

"I never did like them, even when I was human" she murmured.

"Don't you see Esme, this is a chance to get over your fear!" Emmett was excited, a whole new plan forming in his head now.

"I don't want to 'get over' my fear! I want my fear to stay exactly where it is!" Esme said shrilly. Emmett didn't take offence, her tone was only because she was scared. He was going to change that. He closed his eyes and ranged out. He would have to rely on sound for this, he had no idea what an anaconda smelled like. Suddenly he caught the sound of something slithering, then a low hiss. He opened his eyes in jubilation.

"Quick, over here! I smell man made wood!" Emmett darted in the opposite direction, not smelling to check. She trusted Emmett. She wouldn't for long. Emmett got to the small clearing first. He quickly darted forward and picked up the python that was wriggling around on the floor. It wasn't an anaconda, but it would do. He hid it behind his back, while he waited for Esme to come into the clearing. She did after a few seconds, and was confused as to why Emmett was standing there waiting. She walked over to him. Emmett grinned. She felt unsteady. She gauged his reaction then came forward slowly. He kept the snake behind his back, waiting for the perfect moment.

"Emmett, what's going on?" She asked cautiously. Emmett took a second to decide whether this was the right thing, then decided it was for her own good. Quick as a flash his arms moved to Esme's shoulders. Suddenly she wasn't alone where she was standing. She turned around slowly, and breathed deeply. When a snake's steely glare stared back at her, she lost it. She screamed louder than Emmett had ever heard before, and panic settled into her features. Then she started running around the circular opening, screaming with her arms flailing the whole way. Emmett started laughing hysterically, and was within seconds literally rolling on the floor laughing. If he could cry with laughter, he knew he definitely would be. Esme, still running around in circles, was now forming hysteric sentences.

"IT'S GOING TO KILL ME! Get it off!! Get it off! It's going to bite me! I'M GOING TO TURN INTO A _SNAKE_!" The sentences couldn't possibly be true, yet she was becoming more panicked with every one. The screaming stopped when Esme turned around wildly to find Emmett, and smashed into a tree. She fell towards the ground, and the snake slithered off. It was a full five minutes before Emmett could stop laughing enough to help her. He already knew that this was the best holiday ever. And it could only get even better!


	4. Rumble In The Jungle

Belladventure Chapter 4

AN - Sorry I took so long to update. Enjoy!

"Oh, Carlisle!" Alice stopped in her tracks and smiled a wicked grin, that was becoming to common these days.

"What is it, Alice?" Carlisle was confused, Alice's head turned side to side, listening intently.

"This way!" She took off in a flurry, running head first into the trees, her head still turning from side to side. Carlisle followed her, but was still uncertain as to why.

"Alice, what are you doing?" He asked uncertainly.

"It's not what I'm doing, it's what you're doing" she smiled impishly.

"Me? What am _I_ doing?" Carlisle was worried, and he had good reason to be. Alice's smile grew into a grin.

"You are recording something that has to be documented" Alice slowed down, and moved into position behind a giant rock. Her head bobbed up, looked in a east ward direction, and turned back to Carlisle.

"What? What? Alice you have to tell me!" He copied her position behind the rock and listened. He could hear people approaching. No wait...vampires.

"Is there another coven coming?" He asked in a low voice, not sure if the others could hear him yet.

"I somehow don't think that Rosalie and Jacob will ever be a coven" now Carlisle could hear them arguing, Jacob chortling and saying something with a reference to 'blonde' and Rosalie hissing violently.

"Why are we spying on them?" his voice was normal now, sure they couldn't hear their quiet words over their arguing.

"Stop questioning and get out the camera. It's in your satchel" sure enough, Carlisle pulled out a video camera. He fingered the record button and Alice nodded. Carefully he placed the video camera past the rock, discrete behind a plant. But he could see what was happening perfectly. He took a deep breath, and pressed record.

Rosalie was more angry than she had ever been in her life. She wanted to rip the mongrel limb from limb, but it was only Renesmee's face that kept her anger self contained. She still couldn't help the angry noises that came out of her mouth, but she knew it could be a whole lot worse. Jacob was in the middle of another blonde joke when he was cut off by Rosalie.

"What's that smell?" Her nose wrinkled, it was foul. Apart from that, she could also smell something familiar. Her head turned towards a big rock across from her, but Jacob diverted her attention.

"It's a swamp!" He strode away from the rock, and Rosalie followed. She thought she heard a small sigh, but she was sure it was just her imagination.

"It's bubbling!" The swamp looked deep, Jacob picked up a small rock and threw it into the green, bubbling, swirling mass, and with a plop it sunk slowly, never to be seen again.

"Yeah. I think that's the ugliest colour I've ever seen" he gave a little sniff, then backed away involuntarily. The smell was vile. He tried to breathe through his mouth.

"I've seen worse" she gave a meaningful look in his direction and Jacob grinned that cocky grin that grated on her nerves.

"Well I haven't. But what do I know? All I know is that to drown a blonde, you tape a mirror to the bottom of a pool. Why don't you see if there's one down there?" Jacob's grinned widened, and Rosalie turned her back to him. Mistake.

"You've told that one already" her voice was dripping with boredom, the swamp held no entertainment for her now. She was just about ready to leave, and turned to see where Jacob was. His expression alerted her instincts immediately. What was he doing?

"Oh, Rosalie..." Jacob took a step towards her. She stepped back. He stepped again.

"Jacob, what are you doing?" She tried to make her voice sound as menacing as she could. She didn't know what was coming, but she could tell it was not going to be good. How right she was.

"I'm just inviting you to this event" Rosalie paused. What was he playing at?

"What event?" This was what Jacob had been waiting for. He stepped forward. She didn't move.

"Homecoming" he wound his arm around her waist and before she could jerk away, he pushed her with all his might forward. She was bewildered, so she didn't realise what was happening until it was too late. With a massive splash, she went head first into the swamp. Her screams were tortured, and her arms flailed wildly as she tried to balance in the water. The swamp was deep, much deeper than her, and the oppressing muck restricted her movement, no matter how powerful she hit it. She tried to move slower, and that seemed to work. Now she wasn't about to drown in this bog, she was aware of Jacob crying with laughter at the side of the pool. She heard another noise, but couldn't place it. It took only seconds for her anger to drain everything else away.

"JACOB!" She screamed, and the birds above her flocked in fright. This increased Jacob's laughter, until he physically couldn't stand anymore. He fell to the floor, his laughs broken with delighted sobs.

"_Home_coming. Do you get it? Because you belong in a swamp" he managed to choke in explanation before the laughter started again. With minute movements, Rosalie managed to gain purchase on a jut in the earth, and hoist herself out. She didn't need a mirror to tell her she looked disgusting. Green _stuff_ - on the border between a liquid and a solid - oozed down her body to the ground. When the healthy grass came in contact with the stuff, it seemed to lose colour instantly. Her hair dripped with the stuff, her clothes were ruined, she could feel the stuff touching her body, and a shiver went down her body. This only made it worse. On the floor, she glowered – even that didn;t seem like a strong enough word – at Jacob, who was gripping his side, and looked in pain. Excellent.

"_Jacob Black. I. Am. Going. To. Kill. You_." She spelled it out for him, sure he would get the message now. He did. True fear was in his eyes as he made eye contact with Rosalie. As she was standing over him, some of the stuff dripped onto his arm. He gripped it, in more pain now.

"Ow! It burns!" Rosalie grinned and it was the single most scariest thing he had ever seen. He had it in him to make one last joke. "Hey, you're not a psycho blonde anymore, you're a psycho whose hair dye's gone wrong. Your hair is green, Dye Job" he liked the new nickname, he would use it if he lived. He got up and Rosalie nodded.

"Run." She counted down on her fingers from five.

"Wait, what about Nessie, you can't kill me! What about her!" Jacob stuttered the excuses, and Rosalie was quick to cut him off.

"I _look_ like the Loch Ness Monster thanks to you!" Her final finger hovered then closed into a fist. "Time's up, _dog_" Rosalie moved into a crouch, and Jacob wheeled around and ran screaming. In the distance, you could hear him screaming 'HELP ME!' and Rosalie's laughs of vengeance. Only when they were far enough into the distance that Jacob's cries became whispers, Alice let go of Carlisle's mouth. He burst out laughing, going into the same position Jacob had been in before Rosalie had decided to murder him. Alice got up fluidly and turned to the camera, watching the footage back. It took Carlisle this long to follow her movements.

"That was without a doubt the funniest thing I've seen in my three hundred years" Carlisle patted Alice on the shoulder. Suddenly concern washed over his features. "They won't really kill each other, will they?" Alice shook her head and smiled.

"No. Jacob runs into Esme and Emmett, and they managed to convince Rose not to kill him. He cowers behind Esme for protection" Alice laughed a tinkling laugh, then her face went blank. Carlisle waited patiently for Alice to return, and when she did, another mischevious grin was set in her pixie like features.

"You have _another_ one?" How much trouble could one family get into in a jungle? Especially one who had more advantage over others. The answer? A lot.

"Yep. It's not as funny, but it's sure to be a good laugh" Alice ran away again, Carlisle following.

"Who is it this time?"

"Edward and Renesmee" Alice answered.

"What trouble could they get into?" Carlisle thought aloud.

"Oh, you'll be surprised. It's always funny to see Edward afraid" Alice laughed.

"Edward? Afraid? This must be bad" those two words didn't usually go together, so Carlisle had no idea what was in store for them. Suddenly a thought crossed his mind, and he stopped. Alice turned back around to face him, her confused for once.

"What's wrong?"

"I forgot to pick up the camera!" he started turning back, but Alice called him.

"I got it, don't worry. Now quick, or we'll miss it!" They started running again, until Alice got to the perfect spot. This time they were hidden in some tall trees. There was a large clearing, and an abandoned plane stood in the middle, its design older than usual.

"Is that our plane?" Carlisle asked.

"No, another one. And it has a surprise in store for Edward and Nessie" without being told to, Carlisle set up the camera and pressed record. Just as he did so, Edward and Renesmee entered the clearing.

"Our plane!" She cried, and she started running towards the old plane.

"Wait, Nessie, I don't think that's our plane..." Edward ran after her, catching up in mere seconds, now out of the trees the sunlight caught his skin and he glittered magnificently.

"It is, Dad, come on!" She grabbed his hand and urged him forward, Edward keeping up with her rather than streaking ahead. Renesmee had started speaking aloud more frequently, in preparation for when it was acceptable for her to speak fully articulated sentences. That was good. At least you would be able to hear what she was saying inside. Edward let go of her hand and jumped, his hand catching the door. With a metallic screech, the rustic door popped open. Edward lent a hand down to Renesmee, and they climbed aboard.

"This is going to be fun" Alice whispered to Carlisle. Her voice made him jump, everything had been silent. Carlisle nodded, and listened intently for signs of distress.

"Where is everyone?" They heard Nessie say to Edward.

"I told you, this isn't our plane" Edward sighed.

"Are you sure?" Nessie was uncertain.

"Yes. Come on, let's get out of here before we discover something we don't want to" from a broken window you could see Edward trying to pull her in the opposite direction. Carlisle zoomed in, and followed there steps through the windows.

"Wait, look over there" Renesmee pointed, and they both walked forward to investigate.

"I think it's the...cockpit?" Edward was uncertain, which was surprising for him. Carlisle knew something was going to happen. The design he could see now was not American, he couldn't tell what type of plane it was. There were no markings at all. It was just a normal white plane. His eyes widened as he realised what this might be. A trap.

"_Alice_" he whispered.

"What?" She turned towards him, annoyed at having to turn away from the action.

"What if this is a trap?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, someone could have set a booby trap or something-"

"Carlisle you're being ridiculous. Now watch, it's about to happen" she turned away, and Carlisle was peeved at not being taken seriously. But when they started screaming, all his anger was forgotten.

"Dad, a skeleton!" Nessie screamed. "And another! And another! They're everywhere!" She was panicked, and Carlisle zoomed in to see Edward's worried face.

"They aren't going to hurt you. Now let's get out of here, like I said before" Alice snorted. Typical Edward, in so many words he had just said 'I told you so'.

"It _moved_!" Nessie's scream was louder than ever now. Carlisle grinned widely.

"Nessie, don't be silly, it didn't-" Edward's breath caught, and Carlisle tried to zoom in further. He looked shocked.

"What? What!" Renesmee pulled Edward's hand.

"It moved. It moved." His voice was so quiet that Carlisle doubted whether the camera had picked it up. They would need to put subtitles on the video.

"I told you! Didn't I tell you" Renesmee was about to look smug, when shock took over her again.

"It's coming towards me! So is that one! They're coming for us!" Edward squealed. Bella was going to love this, Alice thought while she watched.

"They're going to kill us!" Alice had a feeling of déjà vu and she didn't know why. Had she had a vision of someone saying that?

"Go. Go. Go!" Edward and Renesmee started screaming, as they ran down the plane aisle. Edward leaped onto the ground and did an army roll, before getting back up to catch Renesmee.

"Jump! Otherwise..." Edward wasn't normally this superstitious, so it was hilarious to see him so scared. He shot a look over to the over side of the plane. This was enough to encourage Nessie to jump. Screaming together, they ran as far as possible from the plane and into the trees.

"We should post this on Youtube!" Carlisle said louder than necessary, excited by what had just happened.

"I am Youtube" Alice grinned, as she tapped her head.

"Let's go and find someone else to film" Carlisle was enjoying this game. Who needs modern technology, they were having way too much fun here.

"Jasper!" Alice cried suddenly, and took off into the bush. _Africa is the best_! Carlisle thought, as he followed her for the third time into the jungle.


	5. Crazy On Camera

Belladventure Chapter 5

"Jasper!" Bella cried as he collapsed onto a nearby log. He looked terrible, his features drawn and purple rings under his eyes, he kept coughing which was strange as vampires didn't get ill. Yet Jasper looked very ill. Could there be some exotic virus that vampires weren't immune to? Though it wasn't just his physical state that looked terrible. After the snide remarks about Jacob had dried up, Jasper had started shaking. He was irritable and Bella could hear some screams in the distance, they sounded like Esme, but Bella didn't have a clue why she would be screaming. They had carried on and Jasper had gotten better, but then about an hour later, they had seen Jacob nearby running away from a furious looking Rosalie, and Jasper had been rubbing his head, complaining about bad emotions. Then they had come to a clearing, only to turn back around as Edward and Renesmee were running screaming away from it, and Jasper had had his worst attack yet, going moody and talking to himself, his expression looked mentally deranged. She knew from a murky human memory that Jasper had been depressed, but was he going back to that _now_? If so then why? Bella was uncomfortable with Jasper getting depressed, especially if it was only her with him. She had no experience dealing with depressed people, love and species rivals, sadistic crazy vampires, and several near death experiences sure, but not this. Next to her Jasper twitched uncomfortably, he had a crazy glint in his eye, and Bella nearly thought about running for help. But then he started speaking, in a voice which sounded unlike his own.

"Hello Mr. Leaf" he had picked up a leaf from a nearby tree and started stroking it. "We're going to be good friends aren't we? What's that?" he put the leaf next to his ear and started nodding then suddenly got up. Bella stepped back, unsure what he was going to do. His eyes twinkled, then suddenly his heads started thrashing about, and he started loudly, and somehow drunkly singing, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. If it wasn't _Jasper_ doing it, it would have been one of the funniest things she had ever seen. But the shocked and undoubtedly horrified expression on her face showed no trace of humour. It was a full five minutes, after three tragically sung renditions of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star that he stopped and sat back down on the log, picking up 'Mr. Leaf' again and stroking it.

"Are you done?" Bella choked out. Jasper grinned and a scared shiver ran up her spine.

"Oh, I'm far from over" he said manically. Oh dear.

Not fifty yards away, in some nearby trees, Carlisle was trying to control his laughter. He thought he had seen everything, but Jasper singing nursery rhymes whilst head banging was so funny he could barely contain his laughter. Alice looked concerned, but Carlisle refused to let her emerge yet. He was sure Jasper had more activities that he would willingly film, and as a doctor he didn't think the case was too serious that he couldn't have fun with it.

"Carlisle..." Alice moaned in a whisper.

"Alice are you seriously telling me you didn't find that hilarious?" Alice frowned, then smiled a watery smile.

"Well it was kind of funny" she mumbled.

"Exactly. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Enjoy it" Carlisle smiled back at her, then turned quickly back to the scene. Jasper was doing something new. Jasper stood up again, his eyes bright and wide, a grin plastered on his face, and his fingers started moving slowly. Bella's eyes widened.

"One plus one is two. Two plus two is three..." Jasper giggled, and Bella eyed the trees, obviously wanting to get as far away as possible from Jasper.

"Actually Jasper two plus two is-" Jasper's expression was outraged and he turned his attention towards Bella.

"SILENCE!" Bella stepped back, and grabbed a nearby tree for support. She was inches away from where Carlisle was poised with the camera, but she was too busy focusing on Jasper to notice Carlisle near her. Rapidly again, his mood changed, and he started skipping happily, laughing, whilst hugging 'Mr. Leaf'. Bella seemed to have a bright idea then, she walked gingerly to Jasper, then called his name.

"Jasper?" He stopped and looked at her, his face completely normal, and it was hard to believe anything was wrong with him.

"Yes, figure of my imagination?" Jasper answered, and this seemed to make up Bella's mind. She took a step forward with a determined look on her face.

"Jasper, I'm sorry, but I really think you need me to do this" she took a step forward, and quick as a flash Bella's hand came up and slapped him around the face. Jasper grinned manically back.

"That tickles" Jasper smiled, and Bella got aggressive.

"Snap. Out. Of. It." She said each of these words with a slap, and Carlisle and Alice shared a wary look. They decided instantaneously to intervene. Though Carlisle was still filming everything that was happening.

"Bella! Bella! Stop!" Alice tore Bella off of Jasper and he sat back down on the log, looking slightly dazed, though Bella's slaps could not have possibly hurt him. Alice restrained Bella enough for her to see sense whilst Carlisle went over to Jasper.

"Here, we have, a rare species of animal, the crazy vampire. He is showing rapid mood swings, much like a teenager's hormones, and is singing nursery rhymes. Now when you find one of these creatures..." Carlisle sounded like David Attenborough, and was moving the camera like he was observing a creature.

"Carlisle, he's not a specimen!" Alice cried, while Carlisle swerved the camera around.

"I'm a chemistry set!" Jasper suddenly burst out with, and Bella looked on strangely. Carlisle began his medical examination now, pulling back his eyes and looking into them, scanning for any injuries.

"Bella did anything happen to him?" Carlisle asked, in doctor mode now.

"No, he was fine one minute then we heard some far off screaming and he got a bit irritable. Then we saw Jacob and Rosalie, and he started muttering about bad emotions and went a bit strange. Then we saw Renesmee and Edward and he went completely mental. Then he started doing weird stuff there..." Carlisle started nodding, and Alice looked confused.

"He looks like he's ill. Do you think it's something to do with his emotions?" Alice asked.

"I think it's something to do with his ability, certainly. And with other people's emotions. Some crazy things have been happening" he stopped and looked at Alice then the camera. "Maybe Jasper's been feeling the effects of this" Carlisle nodded again, and Jasper sunk his head into his hands, looking terrible.

"It's like...an emo cold?" Alice suggested.

"An emo cold?" Bella repeated. Jasper's not an emo, was he? Bella had a vision of Jasper in black clothes and eye liner, and was ashamed to say he actually looked quite hot. Edward in emo clothes didn't have the same appeal. Maybe she should suggest it to Alice...

"Bella, what are you thinking about?" Alice asked, and Bella knew she would have blushed if she could of. Instead she simply turned her head away, embarrassed about her thoughts of her sister's husband.

"I think we should get him back to the house as soon as possible" Carlisle firmly said. Alice closed their eyes then opened them, bright with happiness.

"We'll find it within the hour. And we've got a surprise planned for everyone..." Alice grinned and Carlisle laughed.

"Let's get going then!" Carlisle had a pretty good guess that a video tape was involved. Together all three of them dived into the jungle, glad to know they'd soon be home.

Emmett and Esme had gotten far since the snake incident. They were deep into the jungle, when Emmett stopped.

"Look, a whip!" Emmett pulled a vine from the tree, and when you looked at it closely, you could tell it was manmade. He whipped it a few times and Esme jumped back.

"Get that away from me!" She squealed.

"Are you afraid of whips too!" Emmett laughed.

"No, I just don't fancy being chased with a whip" Esme reasoned. Suddenly something deep in the jungle stirred, and they turned their attention towards the trees. A lot of things were coming on the floor. Then Esme froze. Emmett looked on quizzically. Then he heard it. A hiss. A sliver. More snakes!

"Yeah, snakes! Now it's a party!" He cracked his whip again and grinned, Esme started backing away. Suddenly they all came out of the trees, and they were the biggest snakes he had ever seen. They were as big as his arm, and his muscles on his arm were pretty substantial.

"Emmett, come on!" Esme urged. Uh oh. There were more than he's thought. Ten were emerging out the jungle now, and he cracked his whip again. They came closer. They were circling him.

"Stay back!" He cried. "I'm Indiana Emmett, you can't hurt me!" He cracked his whip again. When he did it again, he didn't see a snake next to him. He caught it on the whip and flew it back. It landed continently on Esme's back.

"Oh, not again!" She cried, before she started running around screaming. Emmett fought of the snakes vigorously, whilst Esme tried to avoid the snakes at all costs. It was an exact replay of before, only this time there was a whip, lots more snakes, and Carlisle, Jasper, Bella and Alice in the bushes recording the whole thing.


	6. Tribal Trouble

Belladventure Chapter 6

"We're here!" Carlisle shouted as he broke through into a clearing, in which a large house was situated.

"Finally!" Alice cried, as they stopping running and started walking toward the house.

"That's what she said" Jasper snickered.

"What? That didn't even make sense?" Bella said before Jasper cut her off.

"SILENCE!" Jasper had been relatively quiet during the journey and Bella had hoped that this meant he was getting better. But obviously not. He still carried that stupid leaf, 'Mr. Leaf' was tucked safely away in his pocket, but Bella could see the outline of it still there. She was glad to get to the house, they could unpack, get the best bedrooms, and maybe scout around for their luggage at the nearby airport. She could hear a far off zoom of planes taking off, so knew it was close enough to run there and back to by the end of the day. The house itself had an uncanny resemblance to the Cullen's home in Forks, there was lots of glass, but no wall just made of it, it was in a clearing which was not near civilisation, it had that look of something that had been there for many decades. The shrubbery around it was rowdy, but cut perfectly as to not disturb the actual house, though there were a few loose vines that Alice would soon see to. Well, as soon as she sorted out Jasper. He was quiet again, his craziness tamed for the time being. Bella was still feeling relief at not being alone with him anymore, his antics were driving her crazy. But Alice held nothing but concern when she turned to face him, which was often. Bella would be the same, if Edward was in the same position. Where was Edward? Surely he would have heard their thoughts – not hers obviously – but he should know of their location by now. Maybe after she got the rooms sorted she would go and hunt for him, anything to get away from the manic look Jasper was eying her with now. She shuddered delicately, and followed Carlisle into the house. The colour scheme was pale, not as white as the Cullen's, but not dark either. The house was smaller, she could tell that instantly, but seeing as this was the first time the Cullen's had been to Africa, they didn't own property here, so this was rented. But judging by the appraising look Carlisle was giving the house, they wouldn't be homeless in Africa for long. Alice and Jasper were already making their way upstairs, Jasper being dragged alone by Alice, so Bella ran up the stairs to catch them up, and make sure she got a good room. The first room they looked at was a bright, sexy red, with a large double bed and a couch in the corner. There was also a large LCD TV hanging off the opposite wall. This room was almost made for Rosalie and Emmett. The next room would be Alice and Jasper's, Alice adored the colour scheme, the cupboard space was large enough for the whole family to stand in, and it had a side bench facing the forest, which Alice commanded Jasper to lay down on immediately. His head turned to the side, and his eyes were unfocused, though he was looking out the window. Bella left them two and went to the corner room at the side, the door was tucked away, igniting Bella's curiosity. This was a bedroom, and Bella thought it was perfect for her family. There was a large double bed in the centre of the room, not that they would need it, and a small bed below the window, which was just right for Renesmee to sleep in. It came with an en suite bathroom too, which suited Bella just fine. She didn't bother looking at the other rooms, she wanted this one. Bella was itching to have a shower , but all her toiletries were in her luggage; at the airport. She sighed and went out the room, but not before putting a note on the dresser, which read:

**Bella, Edward and Renesmee's room. Don't get comfortable!**

She went out of the house and ran, searching for the rest of her family.

Carlisle grinned as he watched the footage he had already captured. The others were still out there...maybe he could get more. He heard the door slam and sniffed the air, and could tell Bella had just exited. Quickly, still holding the camera, he rushed to catch up with her.

"Bella!" She turned around and looked confused.

"Carlisle?" She asked, stepping towards him at a normal human pace.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to search for my family, then I'm going to the airport with Alice – if she will leave Jasper long enough – to get our stuff" she explained, eying the window where Jasper was still lying.

"Can I come with you?" Bella seemed confused by this request, so he added "if you don't mind." Bella shook her head.

"Of course I don't mind. Let's go" she turned around and they ran into the trees.

"This. Is. Awesome!" Emmett screamed as he danced around the fire and chanted. He was nearly naked now, apart from the loin cloth which the tribal elders had given him to wear. He danced with the rest of them, loving the exhilaration of going commando. Rosalie was despairing on a log, her head in her hands, but sneaking quick peeks of her husbands toned torso when she assumed no one was looking. But someone was looking. Carlisle and Bella were watching in the nearby bushes, camera recording of course.

"Carlisle don't you think this is wrong, recording them?" Carlisle snorted.

"But think how funny it will be when they see it! Best home movie ever!" Carlisle enthused, and Bella shook her head. Coming to Africa had changed Carlisle, it was like he was constantly hyper. Maybe it was the heat. Or maybe it was the fact that crazy things kept happening all around him, and it was kind of hard not to catch that atmosphere. No wonder Jasper was having an emo override, this was insane. She didn't say she wasn't enjoying it though. Bella heard a familiar scream and looked around Emmett, who was now dancing Egyptian style, and saw what Jacob was screaming at.

"Carlisle, come round here" she guided him and the camera around the bushes to a better spot, with a perfect view of Jacob. It had taken fifteen tribe members to grab all of Jake's flailing body but now they were tying him to a wooden log, which was being held up by two sticks in the ground. They looked like they were about to snap, and Jacob's face was panicked. Two of the tribe members, wearing the same sort of loin cloth as Emmett, were bashing two rocks together, and suddenly flames were ignited, and the pile of sticks caught instantly. Jacob looked even more panicked.

"Er, guys, I'm already kind of hot – touch my arm if you don't believe me – so I don't think I need to be warmed up. But thanks for the thought" Jacob struggled, but he was tied with strong rope, he couldn't get out of it. Rosalie hearing his words got up and grinned evilly, whilst walking over to Jacob's now turning body.

"That's it boys, cook him" the tribal members sunk to the ground and bowed to Rosalie, her grin widened. Bella's eyes rolled, they thought she was a Goddess. She couldn't blame them, the sun cascaded off the trees and her skin shined sparkled subtly. She was beautiful. And she wanted revenge over Jacob, some strange green goop lingered at the ends of her hair.

"Rose, please!" Jacob cried as he was turned around for the second time.

"Don't you _Rose_ me! Esme wouldn't let me kill you, this will have to do" Jacob's head whipped around when she said Esme, looking for someone to come to his defence.

"Want your mother to bail you out?" Rosalie said sweetly, sarcastically.

"ESME!" Bella and Carlisle looked around for her too, and found her in a nearby hut, being pampered with strange sponges and massages.

"A little bit lower. No higher. Lower. Back again. That's the spot" Esme closed her eyes in pure luxury, and Jake was stranded. Emmett danced over and laughed at Jacob, though that was nothing unusual.

"Hey, anybody got any marshmallows?" He asked, looking around as if he would actually get an answer. The natives obviously had no idea what a marshmallow was, but they still laughed with him, and at Jacob. He was surrounded.

"Rose, you know I didn't mean it, I swear!" Jacob went around on his fifth revalation, and clear burn marks were starting to show, though they were healing fast. Jacob's face contorted in pain.

"That's what you get!" Rosalie chortled, and Emmett joined in. Esme was too relaxed to care.

"ARGH!"

"Carlisle, we should stop this" Bella said, getting ready to leap out and stop them.

"No wait!" He put his hand on Bella's shoulder, restraining her.

"It's about to get better" Carlisle promised. Sure enough, Edward and Renesmee entered the clearing. There were loads of clearings around her for some reason.

"Hey guys, what's going on..." Edward trailed off when he saw ten tribal members staring at him, their eyes crazy.

"Dad, I'm scared" Nessie tugged his sleeve.

"So am I, Nessie" Edward said, too shocked to give any real comfort to his daughter. Rosalie's eyed widened, a plan forming, and she pointed one manicured finger towards Edward. Instantly, the tribal members grabbed him, disregarding any complaint from him. Renesmee rushed into Rosalie's arms, asking her where her father was going.

"Carlisle we have got to stop this!" Bella got up, Carlisle hastily pulled her back down.

"Bella what do you think they will do to you?" Carlisle asked her. She chewed her bottom lip, unsure. In front of them, Emmett had gone back to dancing around the fire, and something was being constructed around it. It only became clear what it was when Edward was picked up, and tied like Jacob above it. Emmett howled and tapped his mouth with his palm, making a strange ringing noise.

"NOOO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME!" Edward shouted, and Nessie was scared. She was squirming, trying to run to her father. This was torture, for all of Bella's family. From the hut Esme was being pampered in, a tribe member pulled an animal on a leash into the main circle. It was a dog, and he was dressed in what looked like royal clothes.

"You worship dogs! Well that makes sense, you're worshipping Rosalie, but I'm a dog too! Let me down and I'll show you!" Rosalie laughed even more viciously, and Jake looked on astounded.

"Let Jacob go!" Nessie squealed, her attention caught between her father and Jake. Rosalie looked at Renesmee in her arms calmly, put her down, lowered herself, and caught her shoulders.

"Nessie, do you see this?" Rose picked up a strand of hair and showed Renesmee the green gloop on the ends.

"What is it?" She asked.

"I don't know, but it sure isn't hair product. And Jacob pushed me into a swamp full of it. So now, he's getting his punishment. When people do bad things, they get punished. Don't you think that's fair?" Rosalie's voice was deadly, it was sweet, it was frightening. Emmett looked strangely turned on, and Bella scoffed.

"Well yes but-"

"So don't you think Jacob deserves it"

"He deserves punishment yes but-"

"So it should be up to me how I punish him, right?"

"Well yes, but not like-" Nessie stuttered.

"Good girl. For your reward – she how it works, Nessie? – I'll let Edward go" Nessie clapped her hands, but still looked on sadly at Jake.

"You can't possibly think I _deserve_ this, do you Nessie?" Renesmee looked like she was about to turn, then Rosalie put her hand on Nessie's shoulder. She changed her tun.

"You just don't mess with girls' hair Jacob" she reasoned.

"So true!" Esme cried, from where she was sitting. "You go, girlfriend!" Esme's eyes were still closed.

"Um, Esme, are you on drugs?" Renesmee asked seriously.

"Maybe. Who knows?" Esme laughed, and Edward looked on, wide eyed. Bella gave the same look to Carlisle. He looked concerned now.

"Esme, your hair is changing colour" Rosalie told her. Sure enough, it was. Someone got her a mirror, and she screamed.

"There are snakes in my hair!" She screamed and jumped up, and started running around the fire. Edward, newly freed, started chasing after her.

"Esme, there are none, stop running!" Edward said. Emmett sighed.

"Not this again!"

"Someone get me down! Hey, what are you doing with that? What are you doing? Ow! The spices burn!" Jacob shouted as strange crimson powder was poured on him. This was a mad place. Esme was still screaming, Edward and a few tribal people chasing after her, Jacob was still being spun, and made into a human meal, Emmett was watching the Esme chase, and Rosalie was watching over everything, clearly revelling in her ego. Oh dear.

"Rosalie, did you lead us to a tribe of...cannibals?" Emmett asked, laughing. Bella's mouth hung open.

"Well, I didn't exactly ask!" Rose replied.

"Rosalie, I'm going to KILL you!" Jacob cried.

"Not if they eat you first!" Rosalie taunted.

Bella couldn't take it any longer. This had to stop. She ran out and cried;

"STOP!" Everyone looked at her. Then the tribe made a decision. They ran away, and Bella breathed a sigh of relief. Then they came back – with weapons. Bella thought they were coming towards her, but instead they bowed, and turned on Rosalie, their expressions murderously angry. Jake laughed, despite the clear pain he was in.

"Oh dear" Bella repeated, and Carlisle appeared next to her.

"Everybody run!" He shouted, and pandemonium erupted.

**Sorry if this chapter was really strange! Tell me what you thought in reviews!**


	7. Escapes and Ass Offs

Belladventure Chapter 7

It was what Bella could only describe as pure chaos. As her whole family (and Jacob) were struggling to get out of the camp - and knocking several things over in the process – the tribe that they had become accustomed with were trying to get them back, so it was a complete struggle of uncivilised humans, vampires, a vampire hybrid and a werewolf trying to get the hell out of there. Bella could barely keep track of everyone, after Carlisle had shouted run he had said something about meeting back at the house, but as half the Cullens and Jacob didn't know where that was, they were a bit stuck. Also in Bella's roomy mind, she noted that somewhere Carlisle was still probably recording all of this, for them to watch later. Fantastic. Just as she thought this something, or someone, went flying across her vision. Sure enough a wolf was darting off into the trees, tattered clothes left behind him. The tribe members were stunned at this for a moment, and Bella used this sudden opportunity to make a break for it into the trees, and double back to the house. She smelt no familiar vampires on her way back, so she wasn't sure if she would be the first there. Of course she suddenly remembered that Alice would be there, with crazy Jasper. Maybe it would have been a better idea to stay and wait for someone else...No, she shook the thought off. It was stupid to want to go back there just because of Jasper. Alice would be there anyway, and she needed to go to the airport. She was still thinking of this when she knocked into someone solid. She looked up and found Jasper's familiar face, and backed away quickly.

"Don't worry Bella, I'm back to normal now, or so I'm told. I don't remember anything that happened the last few hours..." Bella laughed uncertainly, but when she made eye contact she saw everything was alright and that he was sane again. It might be a good thing that he didn't remember the last few hours.

"Oh, hey. Um, everyone else will be coming...soon. It depends how long it takes them to get back here from that clearing" Jasper looked a bit confused, so she added "don't ask." He smiled and nodded. They went back to the house, where Alice was watching TV.

"Hey Bella. Had a crazy vision of everyone going mental, are they ok?" Bella could only imagine how that must have looked to her, and she laughed.

"They'll be fine, they should start arriving soon" as soon as she said that the doorbell rang, and Jasper opened it to find Emmett and Esme coming in, Emmett grinning and Esme looking behind her wearily.

"Crazy humans" she muttered to herself, even though everyone could hear her. In the distance they could hear Jacob screaming.

"Get away from me, you tree!" He must have changed back to his human form, which meant that he would be lacking clothes. Bella hoped he had managed to save his shorts. When Jacob came through the door – Bella breathed a sigh of relief when she saw that he had in fact kept his shorts intact – Edward and Renesmee came soon after. Then a few moments later Carlisle strode in casually, watching his footage.

"So, is everybody back then?" He asked, closing the camera and turning around to them all, they had all grouped off and were sitting in the living room.

"Yeah I think so" Esme said, looking around.

"Alice?" Jasper said, looking at Alice's blank expression, when she came back, her expression was full of fear.

"They got Rosalie!"

"Damn, I knew something was wrong..." Emmett hit the table, and the groaning sound made everyone watch it for a few seconds. But even under their scrutiny, it didn't fall.

"Emmett you didn't realise your own _wife_ was missing?" Edward asked laughing.

"Well what about you, mind reader, surely it escaped your notice too" Emmett rebutted.

"Yeah, because I didn't have someone wondering whether their ass is fat" Edward said. They all 'ooh'ed and watched the argument.

"Her ass is perfect and you know it" Emmett said back. You didn't have to be a mind reader to know Emmett was thinking about it.

"Bella has a better ass than Rosalie" Edward said, to Bella's shocked gasp.

"_Edward_!" Edward shrugged before answering.

"It's true, love" Bella had gotten up to argue with Edward, but her sentence stopped abruptly when she saw everyone tilting their heads to have a look at her behind. Bella put her hands there to stop everyone looking at it, and the slapping sound rung out hollowly in the house.

"Emmett are you actually thinking 'smack that'?" Edward said astounded. Emmett raised his eyebrows. That was a yes.

"Wait, stop having an ass off and listen to Esme" Alice said. Esme nodded before continuing.

"Hey wait, why did Rosalie allow herself to get captured?" Esme asked nobody in particular.

"You're thinking about Rosalie now?" Emmett asked, still craning his neck to look at Bella behind Edward.

"Aren't you? And stop looking!" Bella cried before sitting down in a huff.

"I think they all got in a big group and started worshipping her at her feet, then someone got a huge mirror and they sort of lead her away" Alice said, scouring the future.

"They didn't even take her by force?" Jasper asked.

"Typical Rosalie" Edward muttered before sitting down next to Bella.

"So what are we going to do?" Carlisle asked, looking towards the video camera.

"Well, save her obviously" Alice replied. Jacob scoffed.

"She's a big girl, she can make her own way home" he wrinkled his nose at the idea.

"What so are you going to stay here while we get all the action?" Edward asked him.

"Make's not difference to me, I'll be able to actually see what the plan is if we don't have you" Alice said sighing.

"We've got to go save her, for history!" Carlisle grinned and picked up the camera.

"Let's go and get back my woman!" Emmett cheered, ready for anything.

"We only just got everyone together again" Bella said, getting up like the rest of them were.

"How about me and Nessie stay here?" Jacob suggested, winking at Nessie.

"I don't like the sound of that" Edward said, eyeing Jake's grin.

"I do!" Nessie said, jumping into his arms.

"I don't like the sound of that even more!" He scrunched his eyes together then shouted "who is imagining my daughter in a WEDDING DRESS!" No one answered and Edward ran out the door, followed by the rest of the family. Bella was last.

"Be good Nessie. Oh, and it's a good thing he can't read my thoughts, because I was thinking it too!" She whispered, before running after them. Jacob raised his eyebrow.

"Fancy a game of hide and seek?" He asked her. She nodded fervently, and he put her down as she ran off. "There will be a surprise for you when I do find you!" Jacob shouted after her, she giggled, and a growl came from outside, running into the trees.

**AN – Hey, am sorry this one is so short, but I need your opinon on what comes next. The poll will be up for two days, then I'll take it down some time Wednesday. Hopefully the chapter will be up before Christmas Day, if not, I'll make it extra good to make up for broken promises. Thanks and review please!**


	8. Darkness and Caverns

Belladventure Chapter 8 –

**AN – Yes, I know I haven't updated in forever but since Sunday's my usual update day for this story I just thought, why not wait? So, true to my earlier promise, since this is late, I will try and make it extra good!**

The buzzing was driving Edward crazy, and he was extremely irritable after what he had just heard in Jacob's thoughts, but he knew if he went back his family would just have to drag him away anyway, so why not just get this whole thing over with. All he had wanted was to sit down, relax, and have a nice holiday but that all went out the window as soon as Jacob got involved. He growled, and this seemed to encourage the fly that he could sense was following him. Bella looked over worriedly after hearing his growl. She knew Edward was annoyed and very unhappy, and she hoped that no one would disturb him further. Most of the Cullens seemed to get this, apart from Emmett.

"Hey Edward, looks like you've got a friend" Emmett said, pointing at the fly that was behind his back. Edward sighed and swatted it.

"Maybe Tanya sent it and it's got a hidden camera in it" he laughed, and Jasper joined in this time.

"What so you think this fly is really just a trick by Tanya to try and get Edward to drop everything and come to Alaska for her?" He asked dubiously.

"Well if you've thought of it, why couldn't Tanya?" Emmett asked, and they laughed together. Bella, remembering Tanya's beauty, felt slightly threatened, and she was sure Jasper knew that. Jasper raised his eyebrow at Emmett, and they took this further.

"She pines for you like a tree pines for water in a drought" Jasper laughed, and Emmett had another, slightly dumber one.

"Yeah she's probably undressing you in her thoughts right now, hoping you will hear" Emmett laughed, and suddenly Jasper reached for his pocket and pulled out his phone even though it wasn't ringing. He put it up to his ear, like he was having a conversation.

"Hey, Tanya? You want to me to send out some feelings? What kind of feelings? Oh, I see. Shall I get everyone to picture you while doing this? Yeah, sounds good. He'll see you soon" Jasper shoved the phone back in his pocket and he and Emmett chortled. Edward, hearing enough of this replied with a cold comment.

"Hey Emmett, maybe it isn't Tanya, maybe it's a reincarnation of that girl you killed" they all looked, eyes wide, as Edward smiled evilly. Emmett looked hurt, and Bella and Alice looked at each other, before simultaneously going.

"Oooh, diss and a half" they burst out laughing and everyone looked at them now, confused.

"The girl I've killed? How many girls have you killed Edward?" Jasper came to Emmett's defence.

"Coming from you? You should have thought about that one Jazz. You would have thought being in the civil war would have taught you to be civil" Edward snorted.

"I would make a hotter girl than you" Emmett said suddenly, and they all stopped in their run to look at him. _What was going on in his mind!_

"Oh how would you know what you looked like as a girl? Is there something you want to tell us Emmett?" Edward asked. Alice laughed.

"Yeah, Emmett could go to Vegas and be a drag queen. We would see your shows!" Alice said, excited at the thought of going to Las Vegas.

"We would be the only ones in the audience!" Edward said, high fiving Alice. Bella sighed. Her husband and her best friend/sister were actually arguing over whether Emmett should be a drag queen in Vegas. Rosalie would _not_ like that idea.

"Somehow I don't think Rosalie would be pleased if Emmett was prettier than she was" Jasper laughed, somewhat echoing Bella's thoughts.

"Right, that settles it, once we get out clothes back me and Edward are going to see who looks hottest as a girl. Oh and have Bella and Rosalie stand together in tight miniskirts" Emmett grinned, thinking of comparing his wife and Edward's wife's asses.

"Fine, but why don't we get back on track and actually save Rosalie, or had you forgotten about her?" Edward said, starting to run again, with everyone else following him.

"No, I was thinking about her right now!" Emmett said. Bella sighed again and closed her eyes. _Boys._

"Rose! Rosalie!" They had followed Rosalie's sent to a cave, and were now going down deeper into the darkness to try and find her. Their cries echoed off the wall of the caves.

"Why do I have the sudden urge to make out with someone?" Alice asked, and Jasper laughed.

"Jasper stop thinking about Tanya!" Edward said. Suddenly he was hit.

"Ow! I'm guessing that was Bella. Why?" He said, looking around for her. (**I know vampires are meant to have like super senses and have night vision etc., but just play along)**

"Sorry! I thought you were Jasper!" Bella apologized in the darkness and threw her arms around what she thought was Edward.

"Who's hugging me?" Carlisle asked uncertainly. Bella gasped and took her arms away.

"I thought you were Edward!" She said again.

"Good thing she didn't go in for a kiss, eh Carlisle" Emmett's laugh was booming off the walls of the cave.

"Jasper stop picturing it!" Edward almost shouted, it was even louder in the darkness. There was another ghostly chuckle and this time Bella used it to hit her target.

"Ow!" Jasper said, and Bella beamed. She was usually a non violent person, but she was tired of his and Emmett's games.

"I swear someone is missing..." Edward mused, and Alice gasped.

"Esme!" Alice said.

"Carlisle you didn't notice your own wife was missing?" Emmett said.

"Oh, where have I heard that before?" Bella said sarcastically.

"That hurt! Emmett!" Alice said, kicking someone close by.

"Alice!" Jasper cried. She tried again.

"No, you got me" Carlisle rubbed his shin in the darkness.

"Alice stop before you end up hurting everyone" Edward said dubiously.

"Oh yeah, because you're so afraid of Alice, aren't you Edward? What she going to do, kick your shins, she can't exactly reach your face" Carlisle made the mistake of snorting slightly at the 'kick your shins' joke, probably because he had just been kicked in the shins.

"Oh, for Pete's sake, stop hitting me!" Carlisle was vaguely annoyed now.

"You did laugh Carlisle. If Esme was here, she would do exactly the same" Alice pointed out. Everyone stopped as they realised they had completely forgotten about her.

"We are bad people" Bella murmured.

"Well we forgot about Rosalie too" Jasper said, adding to the fact that they were bad people.

"So Alice, where is Esme?" Asked Carlisle.

"About time, Carlisle. She's outside the cave. She saw some snakes and didn't want to come in" Alice sighed.

"Oh right. Should we get her? Or is she fine there?"

"She'll be fine there. For now" they could all hear the evil grin in her voice, but no one mentioned it, they all wanted to see what would happen. Finally light was coming at the end of the tunnel. Bella grinned as the thought popped into her head that she was the only one who didn't get hit. But her thoughts were interrupted at the sound of drums. They all ran eagerly into the light, and gasped at what they saw. It was a huge cavern, with orange coloured rock lining the whole place, and seats, stands, and areas painstaking carved into the dense rock. The tribal's were gathered around the back of the cavern where Rosalie sat, in what had been made to appear as a throne. Her face had been painted with different patterns and colours, her hair was being gracefully brushed by several women and the men were bowing at her feet. Judging by the small contented smile on her face, she was in heaven. Time to stop that.

"Hey wifey, we're here to rescue you" Emmett shouted, grabbing the attention of everyone in the room, including an annoyed Rosalie.

"Why didn't you call!" She whined, pulling out her phone.

"Call? We have five vampires currently with us and we forgot to do the obvious. Nice job guys" Carlisle clapped sarcastically, filming panoramic shots of what looked right now to be an arena. Bella gulped at this thought.

"Well, when you put it that way..." Bella mumbled looking down. It did seem rather silly, now they had thought about it.

"Don't worry, I've thought of the perfect way to punish you" Rosalie smiled and they all looked on wide eyed.

"Soulja boy!" One of the tribal members cried and the rest started twittering excitedly. The Cullens eyes bugged out even more, and Rosalie cackled on her throne.

"Rose, did he just say 'soulja boy'?" Emmett asked, shocked. Carlisle looked at Jasper.

"Well, Jasper's the closest thing we've got to a soldier boy but-" Bella and Alice shook their heads and Edward nudged Bella.

"What?" She mouthed, and Edward leaned closer to whisper in her ear. He got one word out before Rosalie stopped him.

"No, Edward! It has to a surprise. And Carlisle, I don't mean soldier boy, I mean soulja boy. It's a rap song/dance" Rosalie grinned widely and Carlisle looked confused. The teenagers knew exactly what it meant though.

"You want us to perform it, don't you?" You didn't need to see the future or read Rosalie's mind to see what was coming next.

"And sing your own rap song about me. I will make it like a competition, The Cullens Have Got Talent, if you will, only the losers will be taken somewhere" she said this with an air of mystery, and suddenly everyone was against each other. Rosalie looked like this was exactly like she wanted.

"First, everyone step up, and start performing the dance. Carlisle, since you have the camera, don't know the dance, and I like you, will not have to do it" Carlisle grinned and stepped to the side.

"Thanks, Rosalie! You were always my favourite!" This was followed by cried of 'hey!' the loudest by Edward, who had always assumed he was favourite. Carlisle said nothing, and started filming.

"Uh, Rosalie, you're going to give us music right?" Edward asked.

"Of course" she got her phone out and music blared out of the tiny speakers, but it managed to echo in the cavern. Edward snorted.

"You still have this song on your phone?" He laughed. Bella looked wide eyed at him. Rosalie seemed to agree with her.

"You're not making it any easier for yourself, Edward" she warned. He sighed heavily and Rosalie started the music again. They all got ready, then Rosalie said go.

"This is ridiculous!" Alice whispered, moving up and down and doing the movements. Carlisle was barely stifling his laughter and was trying not to shake the camera up and down, Rosalie and the tribal members were having a great time watching the foolish display, then three minutes later it was finally over.

"I thought that was never going to end" Edward moaned next to Bella. She nodded, afraid to say anything in case Rosalie took it the wrong way. Emmett was laughing

"Yeah, let's do it again!" The audience next to Rosalie clapped and cheered at this, but everyone gave Emmett glares. He just grinned back at them.

"I have the results!" Rosalie had gotten a clipboard somewhere and they all looked around nervously.

"Coming first for spirit, Emmett" he 'woo'ed and cheered, and Rosalie gestured for him to sit down on the nearby carved bench. Edward of course was the first to complain.

"Oh come on, favouritism!" Bella whispered his name, as a warning.

"No, we all voted him the winner. If you've got beef with the rules Edward, take it up later" Rosalie dismissed it, but Edward wasn't ready to let go.

"We shouldn't even be playing this game in the first place! We came to rescue you, if you don't need our help, then there's nothing to stop me walking out right now!" Edward started walking towards the exit, and Bella started following him, trying to call him back.

"Fine, you don't want to play this game, but there will be hell to pay when you get back home!" Rosalie shouted at him, trying to stop the guards running to stop him.

"I don't care Rosalie. I'm done with this!" He was running out of the cave now, Bella trying to catch up.

"This doesn't mean I've lost, does it?" Alice asked. Rosalie shook her head.

"No, it means you get to help me plan my revenge on Edward, but I'm keeping Bella out of it, seeing as she did try to stop him, plus she wasn't last" Rosalie said, sighing. She was bored with this game.

"Come on guys, let's go home" Rosalie sighed, the tribal members helping her down off of her throne.

"Wait, I've got the rap planned out!" He started badly beat boxing, then started warbling.

"Rosalie is fine, like the sunshine, and in the shine, she's so sparkly I can't walk in straight lines, and-" they had all put their hands up to their ears, and this terrible noise had to stop.

"EMMETT!" They screamed. Finally he stopped.

"You argue now, but I'm the next Kanye West" Emmett crossed his arms over his chest and raised his head.

"Can you rest? What are you talking about Emmett?" Carlisle asked him. They all rolled their eyes, someone would have to introduce Carlisle to rap music. Alice suddenly stopped, and grinned at Rosalie. She shared her grin.

"You've got a plan, haven't you?" Alice asked. Rosalie nodded, and their eyes widened.

"Let the revenge on Edward begin!" They shouted as they ran out of the cavern.

**AN – To be honest, when I started writing this, I had no idea what would happen. And now I find that Edward is the target of revenge! Anyone got any ideas, I might use them...**


	9. A Plan In The Making

Belladventure! Chapter 9 –

**AN – Yes, I do realise that I am four (!!!!) weeks late of an update, and for that I am VERY sorry. It sucks when people take ages to update, and I hate waiting for slow updates, so why should I do it to you guys! As Edward Cullen would say, I infuriate myself. Oh, just to defend myself a little, it didn't help that I was suffering from writers block and Science tests. Damn ALL the Science tests! But to make it up to you, I'll be posting two chapters instead of one. Again, sorry!**

"Get away from me snakes!" Esme shouted, as she perched herself on a rock batting away snakes with a stick. She looked away for a second and thought she saw a flicker of Edward's hair darting off into the trees, but she didn't have time to call back for him because that snake was climbing up the rock. Again. Why didn't these things get the hint? Because they were dumb animals. She growled at the approaching snakes, but this seemed to make them crawl faster. Argh!

"Esme, why are you feeling violent and yet terribly frightened?" Jasper's echoing voice came from the cave, and Esme thanked God that someone was coming to save her. Jasper emerged first, followed by Alice, Emmett and Rosalie, Rosalie looking fairly annoyed at something. Esme knew what that meant. Someone was going to pay. And she would bet it was Edward. Now she wasn't scared for the snakes, looking back to Rosalie's face, she was scared for her son. But luckily Jasper didn't register the difference. Instead they kicked the snakes away and helped their mother down from the rock. She sighed with relief when her feet touched the floor.

"Come one Esme, let's get back." Emmett suggested happily, singing something under his breath. Esme nodded and they all took off into the forest, following Edward's fresh scent. Behind her, Esme could see Alice and Rosalie grinning at each other manically. She gulped and moved slightly faster, trying to forget the crazy looks her daughter's held. _Good luck Edward _she thought to both herself and him. _You're going to need it._

Edward sighed as he entered the house, the others weren't far behind him and he had just heard Esme's wishes. That meant he was in trouble. And Alice and Rosalie coming up with a plan to punish him together...this was _not_ going to be good. Bella had caught up with him in the forest and told him she was going to the airport to fetch their bags. She had asked if he wanted to come, but he had surprisingly refused, he needed to sort out a few things first. He would meet her later. Bella told him to tell Alice to meet her there, she couldn't carry everyone's bags by herself, no matter how hard she tried. He might need to send Emmett too... he wasn't thinking as he went into his bedroom, and his mouth dropped open at the sight. There was Jacob and Renesmee. On his bed. Renesmee was lying on Jacob's chest and hitting him, saying he was 'it'. He didn't care if he was 'it' or not, Jacob was dead.

"Get off the bed! Jacob, outside. Now!" Jacob and Nessie's eyes widened at Edward's anger, and Jake, after the initial shock, tickled Nessie before getting up and strolling out the door, Nessie laughing on the bed from Jacob's tickles. Edward just about managed to calm himself enough seeing his daughter's innocent laughter, to tell her to wait there. She did, waiting until he exited the room to go up to window and wave at Jake. He smiled and waved back, and Nessie watched the scene unfold. Her father shouting various things at Jacob. Jake rushing, trying to explain. Edward advancing forward, reminding her so much of when her mother had confronted Jacob about her nickname. Her dad's advances were identical to her mothers, Jacob's expression the same. But one thing was different. Instead of Edward attacking Jacob, he simply ran after him, Jacob running back into the forest. Just before they entered the trees, the rest of her family emerged, looking confused at Edward and Jacob's chase. Emmett, spotting her at the window, waved with a grin. Renesmee grinned back and rushed back downstairs to greet her family. They would be back. They would come back even if she had to drag them. Reaching Rosalie she leapt into her arms and showed her a picture of her dragging Edward and Jacob back to the house, her looking very angry and Jacob and Edward glaring at each other. Rosalie laughed a tinkling laugh, then looked forlornly at Nessie.

"Hey, Nessie, do you want to help us with a plan?" Nessie nodded. Alice and Rosalie grinned at each other. It had begun!

"I want Edward to pay for how he has offended me, but what to do?" Rosalie paced up and down the room, Alice and Renesmee watching her on the bed. Renesmee was biting her lip, just like Bella did, and Alice's face was blank, looking into the future.

"He deserves something...bad. People who do bad things have to punished, right Nessie?" Rosalie grinned sweetly, and Renesmee nodded fervently. She knew better than to disagree with Rosalie when she used that implying tone. It was the mess-with-me-and-you-will-pay tone, disguised under her sweet tone she was using with her. Renesmee was smart. She saw through it. Alice started blinking rapidly, before speaking.

"I see something to do with a plane..." Alice said, confused. It had just been flickers, but she had managed to make out the plane they had seen from earlier today. Nessie gasped and grinned back at them.

"I was just thinking about that! Yeah, that spooky plane really scared me and dad" she stated proudly, as her aunts looked at her with appraising eyes. Alice's face went blank again, then she grinned widely.

"It will work. If we can lure Edward onto the plane, he can stay there for the night, we can record it, and he's bound to freak out!" Alice gushed, Rosalie slowly nodding.

"So how do we lure him there?" Rosalie asked. Alice was just about to put her finger up and close her eyes when Nessie cried out with an idea.

"Why don't we get something of his, put it on the plane, and leave a note, saying someone put it there. Like make him get it, then trap him!" Renesmee was bouncing about on the bed with excitement. This was going to be fun! She didn't think it would be bad for Edward, it was just a bit of fun, right? He would never get hurt or damaged or anything, they were just playing a joke. Nessie may be smart, but she underestimated Rosalie's anger. And Rosalie knew that a sweet, innocent child like Renesmee didn't get how much she wanted revenge. But she was fine with saying a few white lies to her, they wouldn't hurt and she was coming up with great ideas! Her and Alice wouldn't have thought this up.

"Nessie, your an evil genius!" Rosalie grabbed Nessie and swung her round, her cried jubilant in her ears.

"She learned from the best" Alice laughed, joining in the happy atmosphere. Jasper would be dancing around the living room right now, they were so happy!

"Right." Rosalie put Nessie back on the ground and put her hands on her hips.

"Let the plan begin!"

Edward unthinkingly chased Jacob to the airport, where they ended up helping Bella with the luggage. The run had cleared Edward's mind slightly, and though he was still angry at Jacob, he would never do anything to seriously hurt him. He couldn't do that to his daughter. And judging by the smug smile on Jacob's face, he knew it too. Bella sensed that the two of them had not in fact, come to help her like Edward had said, but she had kept quiet, just enjoying their presence was enough, even if the presence between them was strained and angry. They ran back with the bags, the plane had managed to make an emergency landing and everyone had gotten out safely, which had been a relief to her, and thankfully no one had noticed that a whole family of passengers had gone missing. That was both good news and concerning news to her, because who doesn't notice a whole family going missing? Maybe she would make an anonymous complaint when she got home. But right now, they just had to relax and enjoy their holiday. She would have a private word with Jasper when she got home, if he hadn't gone crazy again (Bella rolled her eyes at this) to try and make the atmosphere around the house slightly calmer, and happier. They had come to Africa for a holiday, not for a disaster filled, every second a nightmare holiday. But at the moment it didn't look like they were going to get it. Only a few minutes after they had gotten in Edward had declared that someone had for a joke (one that he had not appreciated very much) hidden his CD collect on the plane he had saw earlier today, and was going to get it. Then after he left Alice and Rosalie had come home, announcing that they were in for an evening filled with Edward entertainment. Oh dear.

**AN – Next chapter is up with this one. But review anyway, because they make me smile!**


	10. The Beginning of the Plane End

Belladventure! Chapter 10 –

Edward sighed and sat down on one of the rustic seats. He couldn't believe that Alice and Rosalie had tricked him into this. His CD collection wasn't even here! This plane already creeped him out, and it took a lot to creep out a vampire. He felt like all the people he had...killed, were coming back to haunt him. He looked into the face of a skeleton and felt a chill run up his spine. Undead or not, he did not belong here. How did they even know anyway? It could be a coincidence...or Alice saw a vision and told Rosalie exactly how to get payback. Edward growled and the sound reverberated off the walls of the plane.

"Enough of this!" He hissed to the dead, and went towards the door. But Alice's thoughts stopped him_. If you escape now we'll just do something worse._ Edward stepped away from the door and heard Alice's jubilant laugh somewhere in the nearby woods. It was true, they would find some way to make him pay for this, and it would not be pretty. He might as well spend a night in this plane and deal with it, instead of running away and getting a worse punishment later. Suddenly a voice outside made him jump.

"Edward, your punishment for not doing what I wanted is this, spending one night on this plane. There will be patrols around the area, so we will know if you have escaped. One night Edward. Have fun" Rosalie's scornful laugh afterwards made him growl, and he tried to stop before she heard it. He wouldn't give her the satisfaction. He paced up and down the aisle, not quite sure what to do with himself. He didn't fancy the idea of just sitting there for hours, he needed to get his mind off the situation. Maybe he should explore this plane, see what was around. Maybe he could find something of interest. **(Okay, so I'm not very familiar with planes, so if anything's wrong, sorry!)** He followed the aisle and went down to the back of the plane, where he came to a collect of small doors. The first one was barely recognisable as a toilet. There was mould growing on nearly every surface, the smell coming from the toilet was repulsive, and he honestly did not want to see what was _inside_ the toilet. Surveying this area only took a few seconds, but those seconds told him exactly what he needed to know. _Stay away from the toilet_. Not that he would need to use it anyway, but if he came back up this way again, he would make sure he didn't accidently enter it. After shutting the door, tight in case any of the smell started to seep into the interior of the plane – he was _not_ smelling that for a whole night – he moved onto the other doors. One was a simple storage area, filled with medical supplies and water, and looked like it had been raided just before the plane crashed. That was rather sad, but what was done was done. He left the supplies without touching them, and moved onto the next door. It was simply a closet, but instead of coat hangers, there was a circle on the floor. He moved the circle, which was like a drain cover, and stairs where revealed. It didn't take long for his curiosity to swell before he was entering the dark chamber and going down the ladder. It was metal, rusting, any human would be in danger of getting tetanus, and looked like it would break if he wasn't careful. He tried to vary his weight, as he really didn't fancy scaling the walls to try and get out of here. And his punishment would get worse if he burst through a wall or something, and it was out of the question spending a whole night in darkness. The idea did not appeal to Edward, he grimaced just thinking about it. The ladder ran out and he stepped down to the ground, which was also metal. His vampire sight meant he could still see around him, so it wasn't like he was completely blind. All around him were baggage and suitcases, all belonging to the 'people' upstairs. Edward reached for the nearest one, hoping to find out when the plane crash took place. He found a sticker which read 2001. It had an airport logo on it, so he was guessing that was the year of the crash. He couldn't quite make out the date, something had happened to the label to make it smudge and be unreadable, so he moved onto the next one. It read 2001 and he could distinguish the date just enough to make it out. 20th June 2001. How strange, the plane had crashed on his birthday. He stepped away from this, and looked around again. He considered rifling through the bags, but thought it rude to invade people's privacy, even if those people were dead. In the corner there was a suitcase, but it was different from the others. It was open. He couldn't stop himself, he drifted towards it, sitting down to analyse the contents. _Maybe just one look..._

Upstairs, Alice was helping Rosalie through the window of the plane.

"Alice where's Edward?" Rosalie asked, her head whipping around trying to spot him.

"Relax, he's down in the underbelly of the plane, looking through people's baggage. That boy needs to respect people's privacy!" Alice scolded, her expression annoyed before going back to grinning.

"Privacy? With Edward? That's sort of hard for him to consider, seeing as he's looking through our minds every second of the day" Rosalie snorted, and Alice laughed quietly.

"Yeah, well, he can't help it" Alice shrugged, then started moving up the aisle. Rosalie quickly followed.

"I bet he can, there must be an off switch in that mind of his. He probably just likes knowing what everyone's thinking, the little know it all" Rosalie wasn't as close with Edward as she was with the others. She loved him like a brother, but sometimes (most of the time) he really got on her nerves.

"Well, if he can and does decide to 'switch it off' sometime in the future, it isn't happening anytime soon" Alice tapped her head and stopped in the middle of the aisle, reaching up to place the camera in the luggage holders. Rosalie handed her the tape. Alice whispered her thanks before finally securing it to the surface.

"Are you done?" Rosalie asked her, not annoyed, she just wanted to get out of here before Edward caught them. He could have heard their plan already...

"Don't worry, Edward won't be back up for another two minutes and thirty four seconds. And he won't find the camera. It's all linked to the house, I did it before we got him in here" Alice smiled, and Rosalie lifted her hand to high five her sister. She slapped her hand daintily and got off the chair she was leaning on, bringing the tape with her. They started to go back from where they exited, but Alice gasped and turned back around again. Rosalie watched quizzically as she went back to her previous spot and reached for the camera.

"Forget something?" A red light blinked back at her, the light answering her question. They're plans would have been ruined if Alice hadn't turned the camera on. She grinned in the darkness and ran back towards her.

"Let's go!" Alice was half out the window before Rosalie called her back.

"Wait! Should we lock him down there?" Rosalie grinned a mischievous grin and Alice's face went blank while she scanned that possible future. Her features returned back to life and she shook her head.

"No, it will be better up here. Besides how would we watch it?" Alice laughed and Rosalie nodded, both jumping out the window and landing swiftly on the ground. They ran back into the forest laughing softly. Just before they hit the bush they heard a door on the plane close; Edward. Just as he came back into the main centre of the plane he heard Alice's rather disconcerting thought. _Let the fun begin._

**AN – There will be more Edward antics soon guys, I swear. I'm not going to leave you on a cliff hanger like that! And if it **_**is**_** too long, feel free to ship me off to the Volturi, I'll go in peace. As always, reviews make me happy!**


	11. Author's Note

Authors Note 2–

**False alarm guys! I know it sucks not having a chapter, and I will replace this note with a chapter when I get back (that's what I want to talk about). Basically, I am going skiing for a week with my school and won't be able to update for a week and a bit. Sorry, I know it's annoying and I wish I could take my laptop with me, but I can't. I thought I was going to have time to update, but I have like an hour and a half left and I've still got to pack and eat! So I'll speak to you guys in week and a bit!**


	12. The Great Escape Part 1

Belladventure Chapter 11

**AN – Oh my Edward, guys, I am so sorry! School has been killing me! Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry! Oh, and it's been called to my attention that the narrative changes sometimes, sorry! (I keep saying that!) I will try and keep it third person from now on, or let you know if I'm gonna change POV. When it say's -:-Belladventure!-:- it's switching scenes.**

Edward climbed back up the stairs and shut the door, carefully. Something nagged at him and told him not to disturb the suitcases even more. He had found some good stuff down there, but hadn't wanted to take it up here. It would be like stealing. And he didn't really like stealing from the dead. It was just...unnecessary. Looking around the aisle, Edward had the feeling something was different. Suddenly he smelt the famillair smells. Sniff. Alice. And, sniff. Rosalie. Where they just here? If so, what did they do?

-:-Belladventure!-:-

He didn't have time to investigate though, because something caught his eye. It was a skeleton. The face was turned right towards him, almost as if it was watching him...There was a change in the air, and a breeze swept past him. He didn't know if it was just him, or if someone had actually said it, but the wind had sounded like 'Edward...'. Edward looked towards the skeleton again. Were the eyes getting bigger? They seemed darker than before. That wasn't right. Edward's skin prickled, something that he hadn't felt in years. Hastily he made his way to the cock pit. Suddenly it was an excellent time to explore some more...

Bella sighed. She couldn't find Edward anywhere. She had searched all outside and inside the house. He was nowhere to be found. She had tried ringing his phone, twice, but he hadn't answered. Bella was getting frustrated now. She turned the corner, into the living room, and Nessie jumped straight up into her arms.

"Nessie! Do you know where your father is?" Renesmee bit her lip and mashed her eyebrows together, a look Edward loved to say looked just like her. She smiled at the memory, then in a typical vampire mood change went to angry. Where was her husband!

"Bella!" Jasper called from upstairs. Right, she had forgotten he was here.

"Sorry!" If she could have blushed, she would have. Meanwhile, Renesmee was still thinking. Then she nodded.

"Nessie? Do you know something?" She nodded, then touched Bella's forehead. Bella saw Rosalie, grinning wickedly at Nessie, with Alice sharing the expression in the background. But somehow, with Rosalie closer and leaning over Nessie, she looked more fearsome. Yet Bella could see from the mirror across from Nessie in the vision that she was smiling. Rosalie leaned even closer to Renesmee and asked;

"Hey, Nessie, do you want to help us with a plan?" This was followed by an even deeper grin. Her daughter nodded, then the vision stopped. Bella looked down at Renesmee. She looked pleased with herself. Oh dear.

"Renesmee, what did you do to your father?" When Bella used this tone, Nessie knew that she wanted her to speak aloud.

"We put him in a plane" Jacob walked in hearing this, and laughed.

"Was this when Edward was trying to kill me?" Nessie nodded. Jacob laughed.

"You put him in a plane?" Bella repeated, feeling slightly confused.

"You mean locked" Alice's laugh tinkled through the doorway, and the living room was starting to get crowded.

"Locked!" Bella repeated. Now Jake, Alice and her daughter were laughing, whilst she stared on, shocked and wide eyed.

"He deserved it" Rosalie strolled through now, Emmett in tow, looking very satisfied. _Bad_ _images_, was Bella's only thought.

"Rosalie! Why did you do this?" What had Edward done that was so bad? Oh, right, the cave thing...She should have known Rosalie would get revenge!

"You know why" Rosalie laughed. Alice's features was blank, she was lost in a vision. When she came out of it, she looked worried.

"Well, I need to get him back!" Alice shouted 'Emmett!' and just as Bella tried to race out the door, she was jumped on by three different vampires.

"Let. Me. Go!" Bella shouted, over strained breaths. If she was a human, she would have been crushed by now.

"Not until I see you giving up" Alice chimed in. Bella sighed. She was going to be here for a long time.

-:-Belladventure! -:-

Edward was glad to get away from that aisle, he could still see that skeleton staring at him. In the cock pit it was quite small and cramped, and even if there were skeletons in here, they weren't as threatening as the one out there. He shivered. Ironically the last pose one of the skeletons had was reaching over a big, once red mayday button, but whether he or she actually pressed it he wasn't sure. They were still wearing their pilot uniforms. In a weird way it reminded him of the cover art of the album Welcome To The Black Parade by My Chemical Romance (**I don't like them personally, I just imagine this is what it would look like)**. The other skeleton in the right side chair was gripping onto the sides of the seats. A wasted gesture, obviously. He felt almost sorry for the human, this would not be the way he chose to die. But neither was the Spanish Influenza, but as his lovely Bella had once said 'life isn't fair'.

The buttons looked quite complicated, but Edward thought he could learn them. He was usually modest, but in this strange situation he didn't feel like shying away from the fact that he could learn anything he wanted. It was ridiculous the amount of powers vampires possessed. But that didn't mean that Edward didn't enjoy them. He remembered his promise to learn how to fly, he would have to book lessons. When he was scanning the panel, numbers caught his eye. They weren't just any numbers, they were the time. After eight years, the clock still _worked_! A lot can happen in one hundred years, technology wise. It was 2AM. He only had a few more hours of this hell. Good, hopefully Rosalie and Alice would let him out at day break. He heard their thoughts in the distance. They were sweeping the perimeter, trying to stop Bella from breaking him free. Bella was trying to save him! Admiration filled Edward. _I love my wife_.

-:-Belladventure!-:-

After thirty minutes of being uncomfortably squashed, and laughed at by Jacob and Renesmee, which was both humiliating and embarrassing, Rose and Alice finally left, leaving Emmett as guard. Emmett marched Bella up to her room, and even though she could easily break out of his grasp – she still had some newborn strength left in her –Bella didn't, out of courtesy, and the fact that she didn't want to hurt him. _Me, hurt Emmett!_ She still couldn't get used to that thought. Emmett waited for a few minutes, but just like Bella knew he would, he got bored and left. Though he parted with;

"If you leave I'll get you later, or even worse, Rose will!" That last thought left Bella shuddering. But she knew she couldn't just leave Edward out there, who knows what Alice and Rosalie were doing to him! Bella could always just jump out the window, but she couldn't be sure whether or not Emmett was watching from the lounge. She could always sneak out, but Alice would probably call Jasper. Suddenly, she had an idea.

"Nessie!" She hissed. Renesmee came through the door, with Jacob in tow. Good.

"I need you two" Jacob and Nessie grinned. Ten minutes later...freedom! Bella ran through the forest, following Edward's faint scent.

"I'm coming Edward" she whispered, before pushing herself further into the forest.

**AN – If you can find it in your hearts to forgive me, please press that little white button! **


	13. Daybreak

Belladventure! Chapter 12

"Alice, can we go yet!" Rosalie hissed, meeting up at the centre of the circle they had been running around. According to Alice they had been 'monitoring the perimeter'. Bella was trying to break Edward free. But so far they hadn't run into her, so Rosalie was getting impatient. They had set up the video equipment at home, right now all of their family was watching Edward's every move in that plane – apart from them. And it infuriated her. This was her plan! Why wasn't she watching it unfold, laughing with the others?

"We have to wait until Bella gives up! Because if she frees him, then your plan will be ruined, and we won't get to watch it back later!" Alice reasoned with her sister, gripping her wrist. They couldn't leave yet, for all they knew Bella was watching them right now! And you know what? Alice was right. About thirty metres away from them, Bella had stopped and hidden in a bush, trying to listen to their conversation. She was trying to make her decisions as snappy and quick as possible, so Alice would have less of a chance of guessing what she was going to do. It seemed to be working, Alice didn't know where she was, only that she was near. Bella's eyes widened as she saw Alice's face go vacant. _Did she know where she was hiding? _Slowly Bella started crawling away, deciding to back away for a while. She heard Alice start talking to Rosalie again.

"Oh, Edward's starting to go crazy! He's actually _talking_ to the skeletons now! We can't miss this. And...oh! Bella's decided to leave! Yay!" Alice was practically dancing on the spot now.

"Alice, if Jasper were here right now he would probably have an aneurism. A happy aneurism, but that doesn't matter. You have got to calm down. Deep breaths" Rosalie put her manicured hand on Alice's shoulder, and she complied to Rosalie's demands, breathing in and out for about a minute before she piped up;

"Let's go! It's going to get much better!" Alice and Rosalie took off into the forest, and Bella breathed a small sigh of relief. She would wait for a few minutes, maybe even go deeper into the forest, to deter Alice's visions. Hopefully she would be focusing on Edward so much that she would go unnoticed. Hopefully. Because she really didn't want Emmett sitting on her again. Even if she was super tough, it was still pretty uncomfortable. And weird. And she thought Jake might have gotten a photo sometime in those thirty minutes. Deciding to destroy those later, she took off into the forest, away from Edward and what she set out to do.

"Hey, Alice and Rosalie are coming back!" Emmett shouted, though they could all hear him, in the living room. He had been perched at the window, waiting for them to come back since they had left, like a puppy waiting for his owners to come back. Emmett looked like a puppy now, an excited puppy, practically jumping up and down. But unfortunately for Emmett, he was jumping so much he tripped over the chair leg, and lost his balance. He could have easily regained it in the five seconds it took him to fall, but Emmett didn't like using his vampire powers when he fell. He thought that if fate was going to knock you down (or bouncing up and down in excitement), you might as well see where it takes you. And it took him straight into Jacob's lap.

"Ouch! Do you mind! You weigh like a ton of bricks" Jake looked disgusted as he tried, and failed, to push Emmett off. Laughing, Emmett pulled a sad face.

"And I had been trying so hard to lose weight" Jasper laughed, watching the two fight. Nessie looked like she was concentrating, probably trying to remember every little detail so she could recount it for later. Carlisle and Esme walked into the room talking, and stopped in midsentence when they saw where Emmett was positioned.

"Emmett...?" Esme asked, confused at his grinning expression and Jacob's disgusted one.

"Mom, Dad, I have something I have to say. I'm leaving Rosalie...for Jacob!" Emmett threw his arms around Jake, his nose wrinkling at the smell, whilst Jake squirmed helplessly. Jasper was still laughing in the background, Nessie's eyebrows mashed together in confusion. Of course this was the moment Rosalie decided to come in.

"Emmett! Did you just say you were _leaving_ me!" Rosalie looked murderiously angry and Alice backed away quickly, darting around the room to stand next to Jasper. Her eyes quickly surveyed the scene, before she started grinning and dashed out the room. She came back holding another back up camera, panning it around the room before showing Rosalie's expression.

"Yeah, babe, Jacob's my calling now. It's like imprinting for vampires. It's called vamprinting" Emmett raised his eyebrows and grinned, and Rosalie glared at Jacob.

"As if you would ever leave me for a _dog_" it was Rosalie's turn to wear a look of disgust now, and Jacob looked mildly offended.

"You don't think I could get an Emmett?" Jacob said, still trying to wriggle out of Emmett's embrace. So Emmett held him tighter. Rosalie snorted.

"Of course not. You're hardly the brightest button in the box, and you would stink up the furniture. Not that you don't already" in a terrible cliché, Rosalie looked him up and down whilst answering.

"Emmett! Defend your man!" Jacob cried, and Emmett shrugged.

"it's not my fault if Rosalie is jealous of our love" Jacob cracked up then, the look of pure hatred on Rose's face was priceless. Alice made sure to get a close up. Quietly, Jasper said next to the camera.

"You thought Edward getting with a human was crazy. Then a werewolf imprinting on a vampire hybrid. But here we have it folks, a vampire and a werewolf finally having their own love story to tell" Alice giggled and added;

"Coming to a bookstore near you, the tale of two species, brought together by love. We bring you, Daybreak, a gay vampire/werewolf love story like no other" Carlisle was trying his best not to laugh at Alice and Jasper's comments whilst Esme was already stifling giggles, but not doing so very well.

"Emmett stop this now!" Rosalie fumed.

"You're actually jealous of a werewolf? Woah, new low" Jasper mumbled the last part under his breath, but the camera and the rest of the room could still hear. Having enough, Rosalie shrieked in frustration and ran out the door, Emmett following her. You could faintly hear cries of Emmett shouting to Rosalie.

"Wait babe, I didn't mean it!" His voice faded before Alice decided to break the silence.

"So, anyone up for watching Edward go crazy on a plane?" They all agreed and nodded, as Esme hadn't let them watch it until Rosalie and Alice were back, so Alice went to the TV, made sure they were all comfortable, and pressed play.

**AN – This was a short one, but another one will be up next Sunday. This one was meant to be up this Sunday, but Fanfiction wouldn't let me post it. Also I'm guessing people didn't forgive me for the massive update gap as I only got a couple of reviews for the last chapter! Thanks to all that did review, you rock! **


	14. Scrabble, Inside And Out

Belladventure! Chapter 13 –

**AN – So I owe you guys a BIG apology. My updates are really spaced out and random, and I'm am so sorry if I have lost readers or if people have gotten annoyed with me because of this. I really am gonna try and make them more regular, because I enjoy writing it and enjoy reading your reviews. So again, really sorry, and will be better in the future. **

Bella crept forward, listening intently in the jungle. She couldn't hear anyone following her, and she was sure that Rosalie had won over Alice and they were back at the house right now, which meant she could free her beloved from his prison – or plane.

She approached the outer edge of the forest, and her vision flickered from left to right. The coast was clear. Swiftly, she crept across the grass, looking both ways, cautious with every step. Bella knew she was being overly paranoid. No one was in the forest, she would have smelt their scent, and it was just her, alone. So why did she feel eyes on her back, and a chill – something she had thought impossible for vampires – up her spine. If she was human, the hairs would have been standing up on her neck.

"Stupid" she whispered to herself, closing her eyes and shaking her head, trying to rid the thoughts from her head.

"Going somewhere?" Bella's eyes shot open and she raised her head to see the leader of the cannibals from earlier. His eyes blazed with vengeance, and Bella took in a deep breath. She was immediately taken aback by the burn of blood down her throat.

Sure enough, another hasty flicker of her eye confirmed that his arm was bleeding, and he did not look happy about this thought. The cannibal leader raised his spear, which had gone unnoticed in the drama, and Bella took off into the trees, faster than any human should be capable of. _How had he snuck past her?_ She wasn't able to continue the thought though, on instinct she ducked and a spear came crashing through the trees, and stuck dead centre into the middle of a tree, not inches from her. The spear would have done no damage to her, but she still shivered.

Looking back, she saw the leaders waiting figure, and the abandoned plane fade into the distance. _I'll be back Edward. I promise._ Gaining pace, Bella cursed under her breath and wondered what Alice and Rosalie would make of this back at the house.

"Oh, that was unexpected" Alice chimed, a few seconds after she pressed play. Rosalie raised her eyebrows on the couch next to her.

"Bella nearly ruined our fun. But luckily there was that cannibal leader to drive her away from the plane" Rosalie grinned, and Esme looked concerned. Nothing was happening on the plasma screen at the moment, Edward wasn't in the aisle area.

"Cannibal leader? Is Bella okay?" Esme cringed, probably remembering the scene from earlier, but she showed hardly any trace of this, instead motherly concern was etched on her features.

"Bella can take care of herself" Emmett waved off her concern, looking frustrated that nothing was happening on screen. Renesmee's brow crinkled, she was unsure what the word 'cannibal' meant. Jacob, somehow in tune with her thoughts, leaned over and explained.

"Jacob! She's a child! She doesn't need to know what cannibal's are!" Rosalie scolded, finding any fault of Jacob's to pick up on.

"She wanted to know!" He defended, and Renesmee grinned at him. Across the lounge, Rosalie gagged, an impressive feat for a vampire.

"Let's just stop arguing and watch" Carlisle reasoned, turning towards the television.

"He's still wrong though" Rosalie muttered, though they could all hear her.

"Right, forget this, who wants ice cream?" Jacob got up off the couch and started walking to the refrigerator.

"I do!" Emmett said sarcastically, his hand waving in the hair. Jacob rolled his eyes.

"Well obviously we can't eat ice cream, or did you momentarily forget; we're _vampires_" Rosalie said, glaring at Jake's back.

"I was talking to Nessie" Jacob said, annoyance creeping into his tone.

"Well then don't address us all when you're only talking to one person, or didn't the La Push school teach you basic speech" Rosalie smirked.

"Rosalie" Carlisle warned, still looking towards the television.

"Hey, you leave La Push and their school system out of this!" Jacob growled, and Nessie laughed. She seemed to think it was a game.

"Wow, Jacob, you really love ice cream" Jasper blurted out, and all eyes turned to him. He lowered his eyes to his lap.

"A bit random but we persevere" Alice murmured, patting her husband's leg. Jacob came back with a bowl of ice cream and two spoons. Nessie took one and ate a huge bite, squealing when the ice cold ice cream hit her tongue.

"Ouch, never take a big scoop of ice cream Nessie, rookie mistake" Emmett said, chuckling.

"And how would _you_ know this?" Alice asked, intrigued. Emmett started to answer but stopped, as Alice's features went blank. When they came back, they were a picture of disgust. Jasper raised his eyebrow, but Alice shook her head.

"You'll find out in a minute" Emmett, interrupted this, his booming voice echoing slightly in the room.

"Anyway. Well, I challenged Jasper to an eating competition of course!" He laughed, and Jasper grimaced. He was reliving the memory.

"Didn't you have to choke it back up?" Esme asked, looking just as disgusted as Alice was.

"Yeah, that wasn't nice. Hey, fancy a rematch Jasper? We can choke it up on Jacob's bedside table while he's sleeping" Emmett raised his eyebrows happily and groans of disgust sounded throughout the room. Rosalie edged slightly away from her husband.

"And there it is" Alice sighed quietly, Jasper now knowing what she meant. Jacob, horrified at this idea stopped eating the ice cream momentarily.

"Leave some for me and Jasper to eat later Jacob" Emmett laughed and Jake moved the ice cream bowl away from him, as if this would stop him attempting to eat it later.

"You're disgusting!" He cried, and Rosalie promptly threw the television remote at his head. The remote bounced off and changed the channel.

"NO!" There was a joint cry from the family as they all tried to get it back to the aeroplane and Edward's antics. Renesmee, the only family member still sitting sighed. _Were all families like this, or was it just hers? _She thought while she watched them scramble, before taking a smaller portion of ice cream from Jacob's bowl. Delicious.

Edward made his way out of the cock pit and back into the aisle. He really wished he had a watch, as he couldn't stand waiting with these skeletons. He quickly sat down in one of the empty seats and sighed. Closing his eyes he thought about Bella, wondering if she knew where he was, and if so, was she looking for him? Maybe she would help him escape, as he was sure Alice or Rosalie were guarding the plane.

He leaned over the window, the glass still surprisingly intact, and didn't see anyone outside or in the nearby forest. But they could be running a perimeter. Sighing, he went back to his seat. He squirmed, and his feet kicked something below him. Cautiously, he leaned under and grabbed a box. The content again was surprising. Scrabble. Well, it would pass the time. He took out the contents and started arranging them on the table. Opposite him was a skeleton. Playing Scrabble with the dead. Could it get any funner? Sighing for the second time he set up the board and the letters. Your move, Mr. Skeleton.

**AN – There will be more very soon, I promise. I love writing arguments with the Cullen's, it's so fun! Again, sorry for updates, will do better.**


	15. Life Isn't Fair

Belladventure Chapter 14

**AN – I'm going to put a slight quirk in here, I want to see if anyone notices it. A little hint, it will always be when Edward is in the scene. Have fun!**

This was not how Bella thought her life would turn out. She loved it, of course, and didn't regret any of the decisions had made but when her elementary school teacher asked her what she was going to be when she grew up, the answer was never 'an eighteen forever year old vampire mother, who spends her free time running away from cannibals after attempting to free her vampire husband from a plot thought up by her vampire sisters and vampire hybrid daughter.'

Bella reflected on this while she ran from the cannibal leader, looking back and finally stopping when she thought she had put enough distance between them. She sat down and thought, chewing her lip as she did. It was nice to know that she would never have to feel the pain of her thoughts through her mashed up lip anymore, something that happened regularly when she was human. Or more specifically, when she started associating with vampires. Suddenly, a thought occurred to her. She was running from a _human_ cannibal. There was no way he could hurt – or eat – her, no matter how appetising she looked, so why was she running. Sighing, she got up from the rock she had sat down whilst musing about her life, and followed her scent the way she came. Back to the cannibal that wanted to eat her. Talk about trip of a lifetime.

"Check!" Edward shouted, throwing down the little title. The skeleton did not look amused. "Oh, that's for chess, isn't it?" The skeleton's eyes bored into his, a sign of approval by his standards. He knew he was talking to himself, and that he was doing something as ridiculous as playing Scrabble with a skeleton, but it wasn't like anyone was watching him, and if he was going to spend a night – he assumed – on this plane then he might as well pass the time this way instead of glaring at the sky, waiting for the break of dawn.

"I wish there was a chess board around here, to be honest words aren't my forte. Though Bella would probably disagree. Bella's my wife, I think you would like her. Everybody likes Bella. Well, Rosalie didn't, because she was a vain, immature pigheaded woman, but don't tell her I said that, because she would kill me" Edward laughed lightly, and he liked to think that if the skeleton was alive, he would have laughed too.

Initially the skeletons had given him the chills but by talking to him, Edward felt like he was paying something back to all the humans he had killed. It was silly logic, but if it would get him through the night, so be it. Looking back out at the darkened sky, though there was bright stars there was no hint of a moon, from both sides of sky he could see. It must be a new moon. Edward sighed and leaned back in his chair. The sky was dark, but light in places too. The sky almost reminded him of an eclipse, though he knew one wasn't due for decades yet.

"Oh, and while we're talking about Rosalie, let me just tell you that when she first arrived, Alice hated Rosalie. But she grew to love her, she couldn't _not_ love anyone that shared her enthusiasm for shopping..." Edward trailed off, and grinned. He had wanted to tell someone that little gem for decades. Almost slipping into a sleep like trance, he laid back in his chair and emptied his mind for a while, the only thought occasionally being Bella or Renesmee, imagining them all at home, tucked in bed together, warm (as warm as they could get),happy and content at twilight.

"Uh, is he playing Scrabble with a skeleton?" Emmett asked, the humour sneaking into his surprised tone.

"Wow, I underestimated what a loser our brother is" Rosalie snorted, barely containing her laughter.

"Rosalie, Edward's not a loser. He's just..." Carlisle scolded Rosalie. Esme picked up the rest of his sentence.

"Different. Unique." She smiled, and Rosalie could tell she was thinking of her golden boy, both of their golden boy, Edward. It was no secret that he was their favourite, though they never admitted it. Rosalie was often jealous of this, a fact that Jasper and Edward teased her mercilessly over. If Emmett wasn't there to beat them up, she just might have killed them by now. Jacob was laughing silently in the corner. Rosalie, seeing her chance, pounced like an anaconda on its prey.

"I don't know why your laughing dog, you lost to this guy" Emmett laughed, adding to his wife's comment;

"Ooh, burn!" Jasper and Alice couldn't help cracking a smile at this. Judging by the looks on Carlisle and Esme's faces they were one minute away from buying Team Edward t-shirts and big foam hands reading 'go Edward!' Jasper raised his eyebrows at Rosalie's strange disgust and humour.

"Hey, I tried! No-one of you can say I didn't!" Jacob pointed around the circle, as if daring them to challenge him. Rosalie was just about to quip a comment, when Jake's head revolved around to Nessie, and love seeped into his eyes.

"Besides, I got Nessie out of this whole experience, and I wouldn't trade her for anything" Renesmee leaned over and hugged Jacob, a moment that was almost sweet...if it wasn't contaminated by the stench of werewolf anyway. Emmett, daring to ruin the moment, replied, hiding it in a cough.

"Second place" you could distinguish between the coughs, and it seemed only Alice, Jasper and Rosalie heard his comment.

"If you said that about Nessie, that's harsh, if it was about Jacob, then good job" Rosalie, always telling it like it is.

"Well-" Emmett started, but Alice cut him off.

"Shush, it's he's talking!" All their heads whipped towards the screen, as they heard the last oh Edward's 'check!'

'Oh wait, that's chess, isn't it?" His voice came from the screen.

"Really Shirlock?" Was Rosalie's muttered reply. They all cracked a smile, even Carlisle and Esme.

"I wish there was a chess board around here, to be honest words aren't my forte. Though Bella would probably disagree. Bella's my wife, I think you would like her. Everybody likes Bella. Well, Rosalie didn't, because she was a vain, immature pigheaded woman, but don't tell her I said that, because she would kill me" Rosalie's mouth hung open, and everyone had turned to look at her. If she could have flushed, she would have. Only after the initial embarrassment, it would be out of pure anger.

"Ooh, burn!" Jacob said, breaking the silence by repeating Emmett's earlier phrase. Alice, Jacob, Jasper and Emmett had started chuckling quietly. Rosalie had managed to silence Emmett with a look, the rest were a bit trickier. Rosalie thought it couldn't get any worse. Rose was wrong.

"Oh, and while we're talking about Rosalie, let me just tell you that when she first arrived, Alice hated Rosalie. But she grew to love her, she couldn't _not_ love anyone that shared her enthusiasm for shopping..." Alice's reaction was to scoot away from Rosalie, and cringe into Jasper slightly.

"Jasper, save me!" She whispered into his ear.

"Rose..." Emmett warned, but it was hard to stop the pure fury that ran through her veins. It had been years since she had felt this furious, with Edward, with Alice, with Jacob, even with Bella for possibly ruining her plan.

"ARGH, that smug...smug...ARGH!" Lost for words, she hit the couch she was sitting on, and heard the seams tear slightly at her touch. "I'm going to kill him when I see him!" She fumed.

"Maybe then Jacob can move up to first place" Emmett sniggered. Jasper and Alice (despite still cringing into Jasper) sniggered with him, and Jacob rolled his eyes. Simultaneously he and Rosalie sighed; "life isn't fair."

Bella made her way back to the clearing, and readied herself to face the angry cannibal again. He was waiting, arms crossed, almost as if he knew she was going to come back. She crossed her arms, walked up to him, looked him in the eye, and grit her teeth.

"Bring. It. On" She smiled, and waited for his reply, not even sure if he understood. He didn't speak English did he? She realised belatedly that the smell of fresh blood had gone, which was good as she wasn't sure she had enough restraint to stay here if that was the case. Slowly, the cannibal opened up his mouth, and Bella raised her eyebrow. Then he let out a loud shout, as if trying to scare her away. When he was done, Bella let out a short bark of a laugh. Then, preparing as he did, she opened her mouth, breathed in, out, and let out the loudest growl she could muster, feeling it reverberate against her rib cage and echo around the meadow. When she was finished she closed her mouth, and gave a scary teeth baring grin. And to be honest, using a phrase she had heard before on TV, he just about cacked himself.

"Run. Now." She kept smiling, and he did as she asked, though she wasn't sure if he was complying to her request or just following his instincts. It didn't matter though, either way, now there was a clean meadow between her and Edward. _I'm finally coming, Edward._ She sighed, almost tired by the long day, and started running towards the abandoned plane.


	16. The Great Escape Part 2

Belladventure Chapter 15

"Hey, Mr. Skeleton, you want to hear some secrets?" Edward grinned a crooked grin, and the skeleton seemed mildly enthused. Or it could have been the light. Edward couldn't really tell.

"I figure, why not, no one is going to hear them. And I've got some really good ones..." Edward rubbed his hands greedily, and though it was a cliché used mostly by cartoon villains and chefs – and possible surgeons if they were scrubbing up – at the moment the movement just seemed appropriate. He took a deep breath, and launched into some of the Cullen families dirty laundry.

Bella looked up at the plane. She had finally gotten past all the obsticales, and was ready to save her husband. She jumped up to the wing – which took her two attempts, on the first jump her foot got caught on a vine and it made her stumble. The second attempt was more successful, and she carefully tried to distribute her weight, so not to alert Edward she was near the plane. She wanted to steal a glance at him before she made her big rescue.

Grinning to herself, she crawled along the plane wing surface and kneeled at a window, looking through the broken and dirty glass. On the other side was Edward, still looking God like on the abandoned plane. This wasn't how she expected her life to turn out, but she wasn't going to refuse this for anything. She was surprised when Edward started speaking, who was he speaking to? The skeleton? She tried to stop herself from chuckling quietly to herself, but she didn't need to.

The laughter stopped when she saw Edward looking and seemingly talking directly to the skeleton. Had he lost his mind? Edward was full of logic and reason, he was never one to talk to inanimate objects. Or people for that matter. Why was he talking to a skeleton? The thought gave her chills.

After thinking all this, she decided to actually listen to what he was saying. Some part of her mind almost hoped he was talking to the skeleton about her. Maybe this plane caused people's minds to stop using normal logic and common sense...She hoped that cannibal hadn't put a curse on it. _Focus! _She blinked unnecessarily twice, trying to clear her head. Then she leaned her head closer to the plane and listened.

After a few minutes, she pulled back grinning. She had more than enough information to blackmail her family for life. Not that she would need to, but it was good to have it for future reference. Bella crossed her legs and positioned herself outside the broken glass, just outside anyone's view she hoped. It was going to be a fun wait.

"Oh dear" Esme sighed, trying not to hold her head in her hands. Carlisle rubbed her back soothingly. Edward had just said he was going to reveal secrets about the family. This was not going to end well. That secret about Alice not liking Rosalie had almost caused a fight, and that probably wasn't a patch on what Edward had on everybody. She looked towards Carlisle, and saw the tight expression, and she knew he was just as worried as she was.

The rest of the family, and Jacob, were unconsciously leaning forward, waiting for the first secret to be revealed. She knew this was a bad idea, as soon as Rosalie had come back grinning with the camera. But seeing as Carlisle had already been strangely enthusiastic about the idea, she let it slide. How she wished she hadn't. Why didn't they play Monopoly, like a proper family? Instead they watched a video of her son locked in a plane because he refused to participate in a dance contest. She rolled her eyes and sighed inwardly. Silly, revenge seeking vampires.

"You know Jasper, Alice's husband?" Edward's voice came from the screen. Jasper tensed, looking nervous. "He sometimes wished Alice was taller. And that she could hold some of the enthusiasm for the things he likes, like the civil war, rather than something as trivial as shopping. But that's Alice" Edward chuckled, and Alice looked horrified.

"I'm too _short_? And I like something as _trivial_ as shopping!" Alice screeched, and Emmett and Jacob were minutely nodding their heads.

"I told Edward that years ago! I know you love shopping, it's not trivial. I-I didn't know what I saying!" Jasper replied, struggling to reassure her.

"More like you didn't know you would get caught" Jacob muttered, and Rosalie actually rewarded him with a smile. Jasper didn't have time to respond, as Edward started up again.

"And Jacob, the one who loved _my_ wife" he paused to growl and Jacob smiled lightly "used to fancy his friend Quil. Who's a _boy_. A little werewolf gay drama, I thought I was going to have a pack soap opera on my hands!" All the Cullens turned to look Jacob.

"None of you can prove it!" he shouted.

"Uh, Jacob, we have it on tape?" Emmett replied, laughing. "It's like Brokeback Mountain, but instead of gay cowboys **(I have nothing against the film Brokeback Mountain, nor do I own it!) **it's gay werewolves. Broke_pack_ Mountain!" Emmett laughed so hard he could have cried. The others were laughing too, and Jacob looked very annoyed with them laughing at him.

"Come on, I'm sure Jacob had his reasons. You've all been that age once..." Esme defended, seeing if her words had any affect at all. Carlisle, briefly pulling himself together, nodded.

"Yes, Esme's right. It was bad of Edward to reveal people's personal secrets" Carlisle hated to discredit his son, but it was wrong of him to say things like that out loud. Especially if it came back to him...he'd been careful with his thoughts around Edward, but maybe not too careful? He knew everyone else's laughing was mostly stemmed from the fact that they were nervous about their secrets being revealed and were glad it wasn't them. Plus, you know, its typical Jacob, the underdog – pun definitely intended. And Brokepack Mountain was pretty funny too. But suddenly, the joke was on Emmett as Edward started talking again.

"Oh, and you know Emmett? He once asked me if girls blood is prettier than boys? Can you believe that? So much for vampires being smart" he snorted, and Emmett looked at the television indignantly.

"Hey, that was a valid question!"He cried. Rosalie looked bemused.

"Of course, honey" she said dryly, rubbing his arm comfortingly.

"Brokepack Mountain isn't so funny now, eh, Airhead?" Jacob said coolly, taking a sip from his glass of water.

"Shut up!" He growled, crossing his arms over his chest, sulking.

"Emmett you actually feel like a child" Jasper laughed, and Alice smiled at him, his previous indiscretions not all forgiven.

"Oh, and Bella's had some pretty funny moments too. Do you know when-" It was at this moment that Bella's joy turned to horror, and she quickly broke through the exit and clamped her hand over Edward's mouth.

"Show's over folks!" She cried out to the camera she was sure was hidden somewhere. She tilted her head slightly, and followed the scent over to a baggage space over the aisle.

"Smile, you're on Candid Camera" Bella said wryly. She started dislodging it from where Rosalie and Alice had positioned it. She turned over to Edward, who raised his eyebrows at the camera.

"Honestly, Edward, I'm surprised you didn't notice" Bella finally dislodged the camera, and went over to join him.

"Rosalie" he said with a wry expression, just like the one Bella wore moments ago.

"yes, and Alice too. Them, and a revenge seeking cannibal, were the reason I couldn't get to you sooner. Though I'm pretty sure our daughter had something to do with it" Bella said, in an offhand tone.

"Why don't you fill me in while running to the house?" Edward asked, and Bella nodded. She held the camera up to her face, watching the dull red light for a second before saying into the camera;

"We'll see you soon. And trust me, neither me nor Edward is happy. Though I did get a kick out of your secrets" she grinned, and switched the camera off. Edward snorted.

"That means I've been telling their secrets to an audience? They're not going to be happy" he grinned, and Bella grinned back.

"And as I said, neither are we. So it's a fair fight" she pulled him into a hug before releasing him and moving towards the exit.

"Come on, let's go and give them something to fear" Edward growled and she laughed, happy to get Edward back, even if he was never that far away to begin with. Her mission was complete.

Back at the house, they all breathed a sigh of relief, before listening to Bella's final message. There was a simultaneous gulp, and Carlisle broke the silence.

"Oh dear" Esme thought at how those words had been said twice in less than an hour, and wondered if the irony said anything about their family.

"You got that right" Jake snorted, leaning back in his chair and preparing for an argument to erupt. It took roughly two seconds before the voices started shouting at each other. He closed his eyes and smiled. Sometimes living with vampires had its upsides. His thoughts flashed briefly to the Brokepack Mountain snub, and he opened his eyes. And sometimes it had its future-haunting downsides.

**AN – Liked it? The ending was my favourite bit of the chapter. Thanks for the reviews (which I can never get enough of), there'll be another one up next week!**


	17. Rat Race With Vampires

Belladventure Chapter 16 –

**AN – I'm not dead! Nor am I going back to my old ways. So, it's not been a very good month and a bit for me. First, there was the tiring, long week of work experience, and after worrying about this and then finally finishing it I wasn't really in the mood to write. Then this finished and I got drowned in coursework. Finally finish this, I've finished the chapter and...my internet dies. For a WEEK. So yeah, not been good. But my internet is back, and I've got a lot of updates that I will be posting in the next few days. **

"I'm going to kill them" Edward said quietly, yet deadly, as he ran silently through the jungle.

"They didn't mean it" Bella sighed, thinking about what they had just done. She was just mentally contradicting herself as Edward said;

"Yes, they did" Bella tried not to agree with him, but found her head bobbing slightly anyway. With two last strides they went out and could see the house. As they approached the windows they saw a whole family of faces – apart from Jacob, who was looking thoroughly amused – look fearful as they Edward and Bella got closer to the house. Edward's smile both deepened and tightened as his gaze turned towards Alice and Rosalie.

Alice's eyes closed and only reopened once Bella stepped inside. She was trying hard to repress her grin, and Edward looked even more annoyed. _What did the future behold for them now?_ Bella wondered absent minded as she went and sat down next to Emmett.

"Alice, no" Edward's tone was vicious, but Alice smiled happily, unaffected by his mood or tone.

"It's going to happen Edward" she sang, looking rather pleased with herself. Jasper whispered just loud enough for Bella to hear.

"Alice, stop, he's _really_ pissed" jasper's words of advice did nothing to Alice, and Bella quickly contemplated whether she had some sort of shield as well as her cognitive powers. But two powers? That's pushing it a bit. Oh wait, she sort of had two powers, she could block herself and other people, but that was the same power...Her thoughts were interrupted by Emmett, and she made a mental note to ask Carlisle later.

"Okay, what's going on Alice. Tell us!" Emmett seemed excited, and Rosalie was unusually reserved, probably worried about annoying Edward further. Bella would be too, what was Alice thinking?

"We're going to have...a race!" Alice announced, and was met with confused stares.

"A...race? Why?" Carlisle asked, breaking the short pause that had come after Alice's announcement.

"Because it's fun! Oh and if Edward wins he gets to do things to us" Alice said non-chalantly, and Rosalie's eyes widened slightly.

"Do things to us? I don't think Bella wants to share" Emmett wiggled his eyes suggestively and was hit with a pillow by Alice. Bella bit her lip and shrunk back into the sofa slightly. Edward glared at Emmett and a chill ran up her spine. Note to self, never annoy Edward. Or more fittingly, don't annoy Edward by locking him in a plane for a night so he can talk and play scrabble with skeletons which then leads him to reveal everyone's secrets on camera, only to get saved by his wife. That sounds about right.

"What if we win?" Jasper asked, clearly intrigued.

"We get to do whatever we want to everyone. Whoever wins get's to do what they want with each other. Or, the people that participate in the race at least, seeing as Carlisle was just about to refuse" Alice added at the end, looking over to him.

"Being controlled by members of my family isn't my idea of fun Alice" he reasoned.

"Oh, come on dear, it'll be fun! Besides they won't do anything bad to their loving parents, right?" Five vampires disagreed, but luckily Esme didn't see their 'yeah right' glances at each other. Carlsile, willingly to do anything Esme asked of him, reluctantly agreed.

"Wait a second" Rosalie, speaking for the first time, interrupted "it's a race with _Edward_. Of course he's going to win!" Everyone's grin – apart from Edward who's frown became a smirk – dropped slightly, but Alice bounced back, almost like a rubber band...

"Or a dog that won't go away" Edward grinned, and Bella felt a slight jolt of shock. Her shield had come down? Was that good or bad? She smiled back at Edward, her laughter tainted by confusion. Ignoring the previous comment that hadn't made much sense to everyone else, Alice spoke.

"Well, that can easily be solved, everyone will go as couples, and Edward will have to run at Bella's pace" Alice shrugged, and everyone's grins were raised again.

"So it's me and Emmett, Carlisle and Esme, and Bella and Edward then" Rosalie clarified, only to be met with objections from Jacob.

"Hey! What about me and Renesmee, can't we join your group. You're so...vampirist!" he stated, crossing his arms.

"Vampirist?" Bella questioned.

"Yeah, it's like sexism or racism but vampire style" Jacob explained, a little proud at his new term.

"It's nothing to be proud of Jacob" Jasper retorted, Jacob's eyes narrowing at him.

"Besides, you're not a couple" Edward smirked, and everyone took this to mean he was actually competing.

"Yet." Jacob grinned, and Edward looked disgusted. It was almost comical. He muttered something that sounded like 'never' under his breath, and Bella stifled a laugh.

"So, we're competing, right Nessie?" Jacob asked, and Renesmee nodded indignantly, crossing her arms like Jacob. What a pair.

"So it's settled then, we're going to do the race, winners take all!" Alice jumped up, dragging Jasper with her.

"When is this race?" Bella asked. They had all night to prepare.

"Tomorrow morning, rise bright and early!" Chipper Alice said, going to the door at a steady pace.

"And where is this race to?" Carlisle said, the one question nobody had thought to ask. Alice, going out the door, shouted back to them.

"Kenya, of course!" The sounds of Alice and Jasper walking up the stairs echoed back to them, and they all sighed.

"Kenya, of course" Rosalie repeated drearily, unenthusiastic.

"Cheer up Rose. We get to show these guys who's best!" Emmett cheered, and Rosalie smiled a little.

"But it's half way across the country!" Esme said what was on everyone's minds.

"We only just got here and we're leaving" Edward lent a hand to Bella, which she accepted as they got up from the couch.

"It wouldn't be a family holiday if we didn't run halfway across the country for a bet. Remember Spain?" Four sets of groans came from Carlisle, Esme, Emmett and Rosalie as Edward reminded them. Bella, testing out her shield, mentally asked _what happened in Spain?_

"I'll tell you later" Edward replied with a grin, and walked with her to the stairs.

"Get a good night's rest everybody! Tomorrow, the Cullen's go to Kenya!" Carlisle said slightly louder than normal, and cheers came from around the house. Kenya, here we come!

**AN – So more updates to come! Does anyone think I'm using too much dialogue, I don't want it to get boring. Comments?**


	18. Ready, Get Set, Go!

Belladventure Chapter 17 –

"Let's go, go, go!" Alice said, jumping on Bella's bed. She had just closed her eyes for five seconds, and already she was being tormented by Alice. Just like old times. She opened her eyes, still halfway surprised that they weren't coated with sleep like when she was a human, and glared at her sister. She loved her, but there was a reason why she was gaining the nickname 'annoying Alice'.

"Five more minutes" she mumbled, liking the way the sheet felt against her skin. It was almost warm, thanks to the heater that was thrumming silently – to a human – in the corner. Edward was downstairs, checking their backpacks. They had spent all night preparing – well, that and other things. She bit her lip before squeezing her eyes tighter, trying to block out Alice's loud shouts of 'go, go, go!' and block out the movement that her jumping was causing to the bed. Quickly thinking of an idea, she grabbed the pillow and threw the pillow in the general direction of Alice. It made a small thud as it hit the ground, and Bella sighed. Missed.

"You may be a vampire but you still have terrible aim" the smile was evident in Alice's voice, and Bella sighed; again. She had only been with Alice for less than five minutes and she had already sighed twice. And so began the day.

"I had my eyes closes, nobody can hit anything with their eyes closed" she didn't have Alice's power to know what would happen next. She opened her eyes slightly to see Alice pick up the pillow, close her eyes, then throw the pillow. Her vision was cut off momentarily when the pillow hit her directly in the face.

"You already knew where I was, I didn't know where you were!" Bella picked up the pillow and tossed it to the other side of the unnecessary bed, opening her eyes fully and starting to get up.

"You're so human, Bella, honestly. Everyone says you were made to be a vampire but you're still little human Bella inside, aren't you?" Alice smiled and Bella felt another sigh coming on.

"Come on, let's go!" She said with mock enthusiasm, and Alice started to reach for the pillow again. Not wanted to be humiliated twice in the same morning, Bella quickly ran out of the room and went down stairs, only to be met by Edward's waiting arms.

"Good morning, sunshine" he said, pulling her into a hug. She laughed and returned it, before they detangled there self and went towards the table.

"How did you 'sleep'?" Bella asked, pulling up a stool and sitting up at the marble top table. Edward sat opposite her, clearing away the glasses Nessie and Jacob had left from last night.

"Very well, thank you, yourself?" He replied, a smile in his voice. He got up to go and wash up the dishes and glasses, and Bella's eyes tracked his movements.

"I think you would know" she laughed, and Edward's laugh joined hers, almost a symphony, inexplicably better than her mundane, human laugh. Bells and bass, together in harmony. _This_ was how it was meant to be.

"Very true" he finished clearing away the dishes and came back to the table. As soon as he sat down he was joined by Jasper, sitting next to him, and Alice, next to Bella. Jasper started getting a map out, and Alice called up to the rest of the house.

"We're planning our route, let's go, go, go!" Bella groaned.

"Alice if you say the words 'go, go, go' once more I'm going to scream" she put her head in her hands, waiting for the inevitable. After a few seconds, she was pleasantly surprised to see Alice had actually heeded her warning. There was a first time for everything. Bella smiled, but Edward shook his head.

"Don't get your hopes up, love" as he said this everyone started filing down the stairs, and Alice counted, almost like a team leader, grinning whilst she shouted;

"Go, go, go!" Bella opened her mouth and Edward and Jasper reached over to put their hands over her mouth.

"We have enough screaming with Alice around, please don't add to it" Jasper smiled wryly, and Edward and Bella laughed - Bella's laughs muffled slightly by Edward's clasped hand. Seeing an opportunity, Bella smiled as she went and lightly bit one of Edward's fingers. He looked amused and shocked at the same time, it was enough to make her beam, Alice's cries of 'go, go, go!' forgotten with one of his dazzling smiles. Sighing contentedly, she closed her eyes and concentrated. She didn't know if her shield was open, like yesterday, or not, though she thought she could feel the elasticity of the shield, a separate entity ready and waiting around her entire body. She stretched it, the feeling almost similar to that of stretching a muscle, and opening her eyes she could see it around her family, though Edward was all she needed. He was watching her with curious eyes, his eyes still looking vaguely annoyed he couldn't decipher her thoughts. Well, not for long! She imagined her previous actions, and grinned again. _Mine. _Edward chuckled, a delightful sound, and she felt her shield ping back into place.

"Yours indeed, my love" he whispered in her ear, and wrapped her in a hug.

"Hey, you two, the lovey dovey stuff can happen later, right now, we need to go, go-" Alice had only gotten through two 'go'es before Bella had practically leaped over the table and clasped her mouth shut, with none of the tenderness that Edward had clasped her. After a few seconds she let go, mouthing 'I'm warning you'. It wasn't at all threatening, this was _Bella_, she couldn't be threatening if she tried – well, many people begged to differ at the last Volturi confrontation – but not to Alice at least.

"Ooh, Alice, that's beef oxocube" Emmett goaded. The rest looked at him questionably. "You know, like if someone says that's 'beef', like a diss, and I said it was a beef oxocube...no? Come on! Does no-one watch TV anymore? You've gotta keep it real!" He said, and their glances confirmed all. "I can't pull that off, can I?" Emmett asked, looking disappointed.

"No, Emmett, no you can't" Rosalie said, shaking her head. Edward muttered something along the lines of 'never say that ever again' whilst Jasper looked rather amused.

"Okay, so Alice, where are we going?" Carlisle asked, changing the subject and rubbing his hands together.

"Right, so we'll start about three miles from here, at this point" Alice pointing roughly to a spot just outside the jungle on the map Jasper had spread across the table. Bella, Edward, Jasper and Alice were occupying the seats around the black topped marble table – _this table reminds me of Biology_ Bella managed to sneak the thought to Edward, which he grinned to – whilst Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, Emmett, Jacob lifting Nessie were standing around the outer edges.

"Then, we'll take four separate routes, so we aren't in direct completion. Each route is the same distance, so nobody complaining!" Alice emphasised the last point, and looked pointedly to Emmett.

"I didn't do anything!" He said high pitched.

"You were _going_ to" Alice reasoned.

"So, shall we leave in thirty minutes?" Carlisle asked. They all agreed, and forty minutes later they were at the point which Alice described. Carlisle coughed, to get everyone's attentions, and before he could say anything, Emmett shouted;

"SWINE FLU!" Nine pairs of eyes turned to look at him.

"Um, Emmett we're in Africa. And we're VAMPIRES" Alice told him.

"Yeah, but Africa is right next to Mexico" he shrugged.

"Emmett, Mexico is nowhere near Africa" **(AN - correct me if I'm wrong, like Emmett I suck at Geography!) **Carlisle explained, waiting patiently even though he had just been accused of having swine flu.

"It is!" He seemed so sure, most of the family were barely suppressing giggles. Carlisle was the only one with a straight face.

"When we get back you can have a look at a globe" Carlisle nodded, the smile starting to emerge on his face.

"Fine, I'll prove you wrong, I don't know why people think I'm stupid, I'm actually really smart" he explained calmly, checking his pack.

"You once asked me how to spell orange" Edward said, smirking **(oh yes, I went there with the Mean Girls reference)**.

"Let's just do this!" Rosalie broke it up, sparing her husband any more embarrassment.

"Right, ready, get set, go!" Carlisle shouted, and four couples started their journey to Kenya.

**AN – Had some ExB fluff in here, just thought you might like it. If anyone finds the Swine Flu thing offensive, please let me know, and I'll take it down. We always joke about it here in Britain, but I don't want to offend anyone. This was a good chapter for Emmett/Alice jokes. Another chapter will be up soon!**


	19. Together Part 1

Belladventure Chapter 18 –

**AN – I got quite a few reviews for the last chapter, thanks guys! A little late, but I've done worse! Autumn C. Cullen mentioned that Nessie and Jacob weren't really in the last chapter, so I'm including more of them in this one! Beware, the next chapter is FLUFFY! All that's left to say is, happy reading! **

Nessie watched the rest of her family run ahead, as she waited for Jacob to phase so she could get on his back. It had been decided after a long debate that Jacob could use his 'wolfiness' as Emmett had described it, because he was basically just a quicker, more graceful human when he wasn't in his wolf form. Nessie didn't mind either way, she was just happy to be with her Jacob. After a few seconds Jake had phased, and she leaped up onto his back, tucking in to his already warm fur, and they took off, ready to start competing in the race.

"Edward" Bella chimed from around two miles behind him. He slowed down so Bella could catch up.

"Bella" he said, the grin apparent in his voice and on his face.

"Edward, you know the condition to you actually doing this race was that you would keep at my pace, so it's _fair_" Bella sighed, remembering Alice's very clear instructions, and also remembering her repeating it, over and over again about three centimetres from her face.

"Bella, we want to win this race, right?" He blinked a few times, almost fluttering his eyelashes, and Bella nearly stumbled for the first time as a vampire. Trying to dazzle her whilst running? Maybe be really did have swine flu if he was attempting something _this_ deluded.

"Correction Edward, you want to win this race. I have no obligations for anyone else to win this race. It's about having fun" she smiled, but Bella felt that her words were going straight over his head. She knew she was doomed now. She had only ever seen this side of Edward a few times, his competitive side. This wasn't going to be pretty – or on second thought, by the way Edward's lashes were positively dancing, it wasn't going to be pretty, but utterly dazzling.

"Bella" his lips caressed the words, and both of them stopped running, Bella mostly afraid of what would happen, Edward so he could fully get the effect he was going for. "Bella, if anyone else wins, they get to do whatever they want to us. What if Rosalie and Emmett were to win? Do you really think that would end well, not just for me or you but for anyone? I'm actually doing the family a favour. It's for the greater good" somewhere in the back of her mind Bella wondered if her husband had ever considered being a motivational speaker, because right now she was ready to sprint for all she was worth, to run, keep running until she won then rub it in everyone's faces. And she would _never_ do that usually. The boy had a gift. Or maybe it was just her...

"So do you agree? Agree to win? _For the greater goo_d?" His arm snaked around her side, the other brushing her hip as it connected with the tree behind her, gently pushing her against its trunk. Bella was glad Jasper wasn't around, because her emotions was a complete mess. Her brain could barely pull together a coherent sentence anymore, and replying was simply out of the question. Instead she forced her muscles to connect, forced her brain to send the signal to move her head, to nod, a simply but unexplainably hard movement in the current time. Finally, after a few seconds pause, she managed it, the simple gesture which could convey what she couldn't currently say. Edward gave a victorious grin, alluring and breath taking all at the same time. Bella knees dropped a little, and Edward's hands grabbed her arms, pulling her up to her right position. Carefully, he leaned in closer, closer...

"Don't faint, my love" he whispered, before pulling back, and darting off back into the jungle. Bella's hand shot straight up to her heart, which felt like it should be thumping erratically, instead of the silence that came from her heart now. In a way, this was good. If Edward had even attempted that when she was human, she would have probably have had a heart attack, or she would have fainted at the very least. Her husband was a lethal weapon. And she was going to get him back. She picked herself up from where she had slumped for the last few seconds, and followed his scent through the jungle. She fought a smile as she tried to gather some anger at Edward for doing something so...reckless to her. But God, she did love her husband.

"Jake" Nessie had been quiet for the last few minutes, listening to the sounds of the forest, feeling Jacob's fur under her skin and enjoying the heat that was sinking into her skin, both from the werewolf she was currently sitting on and the sun, which was filtering greenly through the trees above, accompanied by the occasional distant sea breeze. Bliss. He nodded, slightly belatedly, and Nessie realised that she had actually spoke aloud, instead of just touching people like she used to. Being so wrapped up in her own thoughts, she had wanted to break the silence, and it felt nice to stretch her vocal cords for once.

"Can half vampires get a tan? Because if I do, then I might not look the same as the rest of my family, and that won't be good when we go to school together..." Nessie trailed off, not thinking about how far her thought train had gone. She was so used to just thinking her thoughts and letting others listen, that she had never really edited when she spoke aloud. It seemed kind of silly to edit, what with her father being a mind reader, and a family of vampires with super hearing as to detect her heart rate for lies. Everything would be so much easier if everybody was like her. But then again, it wouldn't be as fun. Her attention was brought to reality by the sound of Jacob coughing – or laughing – and he bucked his back slightly, a sign they had made up to say he was going to phase. She slid off his back, and she watched the slight shimmer in the air before promptly closing her eyes, and only opening them when Jake patted her head. They had sorted out the whole routine not long after Jake had imprinted, to save from any accidents and Jacob's death via Edward.

"I don't know if it is possible for half vampires to get tans, Ness. You're glowing, I imagine that will be troublesome for the rest of the Cullens" he laughed, and she smiled back at him. She reached out to grab his hand, and marvelled at the slight sparkle coming from her arm. It was so...magical. Beautiful. It made her feel special in a way.

But then again, it also made her feel so different. Two sides to the same story. Her mother had always told her to 'never forget that she was special'. She fingered the locket given to her by her mother at Christmas, and clasped it in her hands. _More than_ _my own life_.

She breathed in, before releasing the locket and tightening her grip on Jake's hands. She had so many people around her that cared about her. So why was it so easy to feel lonely? She felt so human, and in comparison to the sparkle in her arm, it all made her so confused. Everyone else in her family – apart from Jacob – had been human before they were a vampire, they knew the differences between the two beings, could make comparisons. She had always been this way, she had no comparisons to make, didn't know how this was different from any other human. Was she really so special? Did she deserve Jacob, holding her hand and watching the expressions flit across her face worriedly. Not hearing what she was thinking about might be making him worried, but seeing as her father wasn't here, it was nice to have these thoughts to herself, if only for once. So many questions was circling in her mind 'who was she?', 'what made her special?', 'what made up who she was?'. Something akin to a headache was approaching, and she tightened and closed her eyes, arms just refraining from pinching the bridge of her nose, a habit from Edward. She _really_ needed to stop reading Jasper's psychology books.

"Renesmee? What's wrong? Are you okay, what hurts?" She heard the crease in Jake's shorts as he bent down to her level, to try and get a better view of her, and what was bothering her. With a sigh she opened her eyes, to see Jake's eyes gazing into her own, startlingly close. She gasped, and stumbled back, almost falling into the mud behind her. Jacob's strong arms caught her, pulling her up into his arm, and he was now briskly walking to the nearest boulder, before settling her down carefully to get a better inspection.

"Is this about the tan thing? Don't worry Nessie, tans aren't bad, you'll be like me" he grinned, and she giggled, slightly shocked to see that she was close to tears. Her thoughts hadn't been that bad, had they?

"It's not about the tan thing" she sniffed, and started to get up off the rock. Jacob helped her, and she slid down, ready to start walking again.

"Jacob...I really like you. I really appreciate everything you've done for me, you're the kindest person I've ever met. And I never want to leave you, wherever I am is a worse place when you are not there" she held her head up high, not wanting to be under Jake's scrutiny for her uncalled for confession. Amazingly, he laughed, and pulled her up into a hug.

"I like you too...more than my own life" he whispered into her hair, and she felt her hand go to her locket.

"Yeah, I believe I've heard that before" she smiled, and felt a small tear disappear into Jacob's shirt. _More than my own life..._

**AN – Lot's of fluff! I'll do more for the other couples. You like?**


	20. Lochy, HP, Bowling and the Evil Plan

Belladventure Chapter 19

**AN –So you guys liked the fluff! I'm glad, it's nice to do something different every now and again. It'll definitely turn up again later in the story! I've finally got my coursework, and important homework out the way, but this month is exams *screams*, so I'm writing ahead in case I got AWOL. But I'm, really going to try! So right now, evil plotting! (Edward should be scared) **

"Hey Rose, look at that tree!" Emmett pointed in a southern direction. Rosalie's blond hair whipped around, almost hitting him in the face, and she gave it a two second look before turning back around, all the while still running.

"What about that tree?" Rosalie asked, a hint of irritation in her voice.

"Well isn't the lighting just perfect, and the situation just right for..." he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and Rosalie scoffed.

"Emmett, you know that I've forbidden trees and outside, after that time at the zoo" Emmett sucked in breath, remembering.

"The monkey's eyes were everywhere..." a hint of awe and fear in his voice.

"Yes, and right now, we need to beat Edward so that we can crush him and do stuff to him" Emmett guffawed, and Rosalie rolled her eyes. She knew what was coming next.

"That sounded wrong in too many different ways" he smiled, and his wife sighed.

"Clean his mouth out with soap" she rolled her eyes as she muttered to herself, but Emmett replied as if she was talking to him all along.

"You did that before, remember?" He grimaced, remembering. First the monkey eyes, and now this...bad, bad times...

"Oh yes, you looked like you had rabies, and then Jasper put the video on Youtube" Rosalie thought, annoyance creeping back into her voice as she thought about it; they had nearly had to move as the CDC had started tracking them. Carlisle had confiscated their credit cards for a month, she almost died, and Alice had literally sat outside the mall, sobbing. Then she had a vision, called the rest of the Cullen 'kids' and they had started busking in order to raise Alice's 'mall fund'. It had not been a good month.

"Never again" Emmett shook his head drawing Rosalie back to the present.

"Never again" she repeated, thinking of their poor forbidden credit cards. They both shivered, and ran faster, running away from their trouble and memories.

"Who are we!" Alice cried, for about the fourth time. His wife's enthusiasm was like a cool breeze to Jasper, and he relished in it, whilst most people would have probably shouted at _her_ by now.

"TEAM ALICE!" He cried, his voice reverberating off the trees.

"What are we going to do!" Her footsteps had become like marching, and Jasper's following in step, a style which was perfectly natural to him. At first it had started to bother him, but one look at Alice's jubilant face and the worries all melted away.

"WIN!" Grinning, he sped up his pace, taunting her. Alice grinned back, already one step ahead of him and had caught up, now leading him on. As Alice started to get away from him, he made a spontaneous decision, leapt out into the air and wrapped his strong arms around Alice's tiny wait, bringing her down, prey and predator, to the ground. He let his teeth get tauntingly close, before whispering quietly in her ear.

"_Mine_" her tinkling laugh was shaking slightly, now out of breath and not from running. Alice rolled slightly and Jasper went with her, going over the underbrush. Suddenly Alice's pupils widened, and Jasper stopped breathing, tensing for her next words.

"Uh-oh" she sucked in a breath and he could hardly get the words out fast enough.

"Uh-oh? What's 'uh-oh'? Alice-" he didn't get a chance to finish the sentence, as he felt his body start to roll without his permission. He looked up and realised that they were at a slight incline, and him gripping onto Alice had increased their weight. They had completed a revolution now, and was going for a second, and Jasper could now see the gradual slope they were rolling down.

"Hold on tight!" Alice breathlessly squealed, and Jasper did what he was told, gripping on tightly to her waist. There was no way to stop it without ruining their clothes or being separated, no conditions to which Alice would agree, so they would just have to go with the flow. Picking up speed, a thrilling scream came out of Alice's mouth, and Jasper grinned, almost enjoying the trees and wind flying by them, as they left a notable path of destruction on the forest floor. It was like being on a very fun ride. Now all they had to do was get off...

"Nessie look, I'm an elephant" Jacob put his long arm to his nose and made a deep, drawn out sound through his mouth, both not looking like an elephant nor sounding like one. Nessie crossed her arms.

"Jacob, I'm not three, or so easily amused" she didn't know why, but she had fallen into the habit of actually talking, to ease the silence in the slow moving forest. She wouldn't admit it, but some of the foreign and strange sounds frightened her, even if she was with Jacob, and it faded out more when she was talking, rather than communicating in her own way as usual.

"Uh, actually Ness, your younger than three" he laughed coolly and she scrunched up her nose. _Darn_. He had a point.

"I'm still not so easily amused" she smiled, trying to save face.

"I caught you laughing along to Sesame Street a few weeks ago!" Jake debated, widening his hands in a grand gesture.

"The storyline was absurd, Elmo lost that bird even though it was _obvious_ he was buried in the sand! What a moron!" She scoffed, but she had to admit, the show was strangely addicting...

"Sure, sure" the words were sarcastic, and Renesmee opened her mouth to make another point, when they emerged into a small clearing, Rosalie and Emmett arguing only a couple of meters across from them.

"Hey, what's that-" Jacob asked, wondering what the strange turning noise was coming from. But he didn't have time to finish his sentence, as two bodies came crashing from behind a fern, completely knocking over Rosalie and Emmett. They stared, shocked, as they watched Alice and Jasper untangle themselves and stand up, Alice carefully brushing the leaves and dirt off her clothes.

"That was fun!" She grinned, and Jake, getting over his shock, burst out laughing.

"S-st-strike!" He stuttered, barely getting the words out over his booming laugh, one that even competed with Emmett's.

"I didn't think we signed up for bowling" Emmett grinned, already enjoying the moment, whilst Rosalie lay on the ground, seething.

"Alice...what...the...fu-" Alice leaped over and clamped her dainty hand over Rosalie's mouth.

"There are innocent children here!" She stage whispered, looking at Renesmee.

"Not so innocent, Emmett's already told her the story of how she was conceived" Alice looked over at Emmett, who confirmed it by nodding.

"Yeah, she wanted a bedtime story, so I gave her one" he sheepishly smiled.

"Unsurprisingly, I didn't sleep that night" Renesmee sighed, and they all looked over to her. Usually she preferred to keep silent.

"Anyway...now we're all here, I have a plan!" Alice smiled, chipper as usual.

"Of course you do" Jasper smiled, rubbing a missed leaf off her shoulder.

"Right, so we all don't want Edward to win, right?" Alice asked, and nearly everyone nodded. Five heads turned towards the one rejecter; Edward's daughter.

"Renesmee, come on, you know you want to be in our plan, if your not, then you'll be left out" Rosalie said, in a sweet voice. In the corner of her mind, she felt kind of bad, seeing as this was the second time she was manipulating her in one week. But her hate for Edward mostly cancelled it out.

"Nessie, it'll be fun, we promise!" Jacob said enthusiastically, and Nessie knew she couldn't refuse Jacob.

"Okay then" she smiled, and really hoped that her dad would be okay.

"Hey, Nessie, you know your name comes from the Loch Ness Monster, right?" Emmett asked, distracting as usual. She nodded.

"Well, why can't we call you Lochy? It's like lucky, which you are!" He beamed, pleased with himself. Others didn't seem to think so.

"Lochy? Lucky? They sound like dog names" Rosalie sneered.

"Ooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Came Emmett's loud cry. "That's a diss and three quaters! Next stop, shame train!" He laughed, and the rest of the Cullen's sighed.

"You've been watching Harry Potter again, haven't you?" His wife sighed, and his laughter stopped, and rather it was him who hung his head in shame, than Rosalie.

"We told you that you couldn't, after you got that restraining order from Daniel Radcliff!" Alice cried, hitting him on the arm.

"I shouldn't have gotten that" he raised his chin, sulking.

"You attacked him in the middle of the street, hugging him with all your strength whilst laughing like a maniac, and he had bruises on his neck during filming!" Jasper reminded him, and Jake bit his lip for a few seconds, before speaking aloud.

"Ohhh. So that was why he was wearing a scarf in the middle of summer during that film! It all makes sense now" he smiled, and Emmett pointed the finger to himself as explanation.

"Stop talking about Harry Potter, you'll only get even more obsessed!" Rosalie shouted, worried for his health. It was a very strange obsession.

"Okay, okay. So, we're all agreed. Let plan 'stop Edward from winning' commence!" Alice put her hand out, and the rest of the crowd stacked their on top, eager to get going.

"Three, two, one" Alice shouted, before they all joined in for one last shout;

"GO TEAM!"

**AN – Possibly the most dialogue I've ever done in one chapter, I don't think they ever stop talking! Is it too much? Let me know! **


	21. Together Part 2

Belladventure Chapter 20 –

**AN – Exam week is over! But I have more exams in two weeks. Boo! Hurry up time, I want Summer! But until time does hurry up, I guess I'm stuck in the present. So, here's your present chapter!**

"Carlisle?" Esme's calm voice came from the right of Carlisle, around one and a half paces back. Mostly because he actually read the map and knew where they were going. And other reasons...

"Yes dear?" In his mind he sighed contendedlycontentedly, after all these years still disbelieveingdisbelieving that this wonderful person was _his _wife. When he had treated her after she broke her leg **(AN – I think she broke her leg, correct me if I'm wrong!) **he never imagined that one day he would fix her, turn her into a vampire and eventually fall in love with her. It was amazing, incredible, all the adjectives in the world couldn't describe it. Life was perfect.

"I have a bad feeling" Esme's voice was layered with worry, and Carlisle's forehead wrinkled slightly.

"A bad feeling about what?" Esme was usually right about these things, she was no Alice of course, but she had women's and mother's intuition, both together and in vampire form meant that it wasn't something that should be doubted.

"I have a bad feeling about Edward" she sighed slightly, thinking of the nagging suspicion that something was going to happen to her first son.

"Edward? What's happened to him?" Carlisle called out his son's name in his head. No call came. He must not be near, or not paying attention. Though usually he would respond to Carlisle's call.

"Nothing yet, but the kids...they want to win" she smiled at their determination, but had a feeling this would not end well. Now he had Bella, there was no reason for him not to be a target, he was no longer the odd one out. And they – Rosalie, Alice, Jasper and Emmett – loved it.

"Yes, I've been wondering what they will do, when they win, and they aren't pleasant thoughts. _Rosalie scares me_" he whispered, looking actually frightened. Only Edward and Esme knew of Carlisle's slight fear of Rosalie. He still loved her as a daughter, but when she came back that day, with the wedding dress on and the look of pure hate in her eyes, coupled with the sinister grin on her face...he'd never been more frightened in his life, a record which still holds. And he'd been on quite a few roller coasters in his time. But even if something happened on a roller coaster, he'd get out alive. With Rosalie...it wasn't quite certain. So that Edward could manage to aggravate Rosalie – on several occasions too – was something of a feat in his opinion.

"I know, dear, I know" Esme patted him on the back, and he smiled. Esme would protect him from Rosalie. It was cowardly, yes, but he still shivered whenever he went past a wedding dress shop.

"We'll just have to wait and see, won't we?" Carlisle said, sighing. Esme nodded, after they stopped both of them perched on a rock, taking an unnecessary break.

"At least we have each other" Esme smiled, Carlisle beaming back.

"Yes, that we do" the two sat together on the rock, blissfully happy...and blissfully unaware that they were being watched – and filmed – right at this moment.

Bella smiled as she watched Carlisle and Esme, the perfect couple, they would be together forever. It reminded her of those couples on greetings cards, sitting on a porch swing, looking so happy together. Only the couple in question looked much younger, but were actually far older than the grandparents that were usually featured.

"Aw, they're so sweet aren't they?" Bella barely whispered, her voice carrying on a gust of air.

"Ah but you don't know what they were just talking about" Edward smiled, and Bella turned away from the 'sweet' couple. Now she didn't want to know...

"Don't worry love, it's nothing like that. Carlisle was just referring to his fear of Rosalie" Edward chuckled silently, and Bella raised her eyebrows. Carlisle, friends with the _Volturi_ and protector of the innocent, great Carlisle was scared of Rosalie? She couldn't blame him though; she didn't get much sleep the night Rosalie told her about her past. Bella was always secretly worried about how she would feel when she saw Rosalie in a wedding dress, and scared Jasper would know why **(AN - Jasper could feel Carlisle's emotions walking past wedding dress shops, but never knew why he felt scared)**.

"I don't blame him" Bella whispered, then covered her mouth. The camera had picked up her words, and Edward's, now if this was shown to the rest of the family, they would _know_.

"Delete the film, delete the film!" She whispered, her voice panicked and slightly louder. She saw Carlisle twitch his head in their direction, and Edward gestured for her to move. They crawled away, getting a few feet away before running again, quickly overtaking and surpassing them.

"So you want me to delete this?" Edward said with an evil grin.

"No, don't do this! Edward!" She had started whispering at first, then realised no longer needed to be silent and raised her volume to normal.

"Oh, but I do" he wiggled his eyebrows, and Bella dived mid stride for him, but he moved out of the way. She saw herself falling and quickly righted herself to land on the balls of her feet, with half a second to spare.

"Why didn't you catch me!" She teased, growling.

"I didn't know you were my prey" he grinned, his legs bending down into a crouch.

"Wrong. You're _mine_" on the word mine she leaped again, her arms wrapping around Edward's torso for a split second before he reacted, holding her above his head. She squirmed, trying to force some of her newborn strength to come back. She had lost an arm wrestle – finally to his relief – after nearly a year. And now her extra strength was finally fading. A month ago she could have gotten out of Edward's seemingly unbreakable hold. But not now...

"I do believe, my love, that you are now _mine_. So, let's find a river, shall we?" Bella's hair hung straight down in the air, and was blowing gently in the breeze. The threatening comment aside, when Bella turned her face to see Edward's mutinous grin, he caught a fluttering piece of her hair and kissed it. When Mike Newton had once touched her hair, she had been uncomfortable. But with Edward, the gesture was so perfect, like a story book romantic. Bliss. Then it came to her.

"Wait...the river? The river! Edward, no!" She started squirming again, the romantic gesture had sidetracked her for a few moments, but now, she needed to get out of his hold. She was going to get wet!

"Oh yes. Don't worry, maybe I'll join you" he teased, his bronze hair catching the sun as he ran through the light trees. Going through the lower trees as Edward followed the sound of a babbling river in a southward direction – still going the right way for the race – he tucked Bella into his chest, carrying her body bridal style through the forest. Seeing a chance to distract him, as he had done to her, she wrapped her hands around his neck, and pulled her face close to his.

"Please let me go Edward, you know you want to" she tried to make her voice sound somewhat alluring, like when she had tried to get Jacob to reveal the mystery of the Cullens, at La Push beach. Her flirting was inept then, but she had an advantage now. She was a vampire. And it seemed that vampires could get whatever they wanted. And she really wanted to not get soaked in the river. Though in his heat, it wouldn't take long for her clothes to dry out...

"There's a problem with that sentence; I _do_ want to" though his expression was still determined, Bella could feel his steps slowing, though the river was still a few kilometres away yet. Grinning, she widened her eyes, bit her lip, and lowered her voice, whispering again for who knows how many times in one hour.

"What if I asked nicely? _Please_?" She blinked, feeling her eyelashes skim Edward's alabaster cheek.

"You fight dirty when you want to, I somehow forget that side of you" Edward mused, they were coming closer to the river now. On closer inspection they could see it was a waterfall, cascading down from rocks about thirty metres above, the hot sun making an artificial rainbow at the top. Edward stopped for a few seconds for them to take in the scene. It was amazing.

"It's our own, African meadow, only a bit larger" Bella laughed, Edward's laugh soon tinkling along with her.

"Beautiful. Just like you" Edward walked forward gently, and Bella looked into his golden eyes.

"What you said before...about me fighting dirty? Well, hasn't anyone ever told you, all's fair in love and war" Bella grinned, her teeth catching the light, looking both perfect and ferocious.

"I believe I have heard that before..." Edward grinned, then suddenly stopped. "I wonder if you will still think that after I do this" Bella's eyes blinked, still lost in Edward's eyes. Her thoughts, even as a vampire, lacked coherency.

"Do what?" A small smile played on her lips, and she leaned up to Edward's face.

"This" Edward's grin turned evil as the balls of his feet turned and leaped outwards, sending him and her across the water, and airborne. Bella screamed whilst he laughed, and they hit the water with an icy splash. Opening her eyes, Bella managed to navigate to the surface, to meet Edward's thrilled face.

"I can't believe you!" She shouted over the waterfall, flicking her arm to splash some of Edward's arm.

"I can't believe this. Love, look at this!" Bella looked, and gasped. The waterfall was around twenty feet away from them, the rainbow in sight above their heads, the trees shedding green light onto the land. The water was iridescent, turquoise blue and white, like an Indian ocean. The water around them, was glowing, and as a tree shifted in the wind their skin was alight like diamond faucets, magnificent in all its glory. Forget meadow, this was paradise.

"Wow, it's so..." there wasn't even a word to describe it.

"I know. I think I'm owed a thank you" a smile was threatening to turn into a grin as Edward tried to keep his poker face. Bella knew that Jasper would probably be acting like something akin to a drug high if he was close, because at the moment, she had never felt so euphorically happy. She was almost worried something would come and ruin it.

"Thank you, Edward Cullen" she moved closer to him.

"You're welcome, Mrs. Cullen" he wrapped his hands around her waist as they joined for a kiss in paradise. This was perfect until...

"ATTACK!" Bella heard Alice's battle cry and she parted from Edward, knowing her fears were right. Alice's closet was going to _burn_!

**AN – Aw, lovely ExB fluff until...the dreaded Alice! NO! You may notice quite a lot of Twilight book references in here, I'm rereading it (for the umpteenth time) so that's why. You like?**


	22. The Plan

Belladventure Chapter 21 –

**AN – This takes place whilst Edward and Bella are having their fluff moment. **

"Jasper, get the camera!" Alice hissed at her husband, whilst applying the war paint she had packed in her bag. Three different shades of green now coated her chalky cheeks, and she winked at her reflection. She tossed the kit to Emmett and Rosalie, who then started applying the war paint to themselves. Because this is what is was. War. With Edward. They didn't mean to target him, it was just...fun. He was a common target, and to be honest the six of them (Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett, Nessie and Jacob) didn't have much in common. So, in a way, Edward was helping them bond. By being a target. So it worked out for everyone!

"And...three, two, one" Jasper counted down on his fingers, until his index finger reached for the big red button, and he mouthed the word "record".

"This is Agent Alice, code name; The Fox-" she was cut off however, by Rosalie.

"Hey, I wanted to be the fox, it was my idea!" she hissed, though you could still hear her words on the film.

"Cut!" Alice made a slicing gesture with her hands, and Jasper lowered the camera.

"You agreed Alice" Rosalie set her jaw, and Alice didn't have to be a pre-cog to know she would never win this argument.

"Fine, what can I be?" She asked, everyone turning around, now suddenly involved in the conversation.

"The pixie?" Emmett suggested lamely.

"No, everyone uses that, and besides, I'm not mythical!" Alice protested.

"Uh, actually, you sort of are. Being a bloodsu- vampire and all" Jake corrected, looking at Nessie worriedly. She wasn't offended, she was playing with the war paint, now having three small lines on her cheeks, leaves in her hair and a balaclava ready to be worn on her hair.

"Technicalities aside" Alice waved off, starting to get impatient.

"The dragon?" Jasper said. Alice shook her head.

"Flame boy!" **(AN - I love Friends)**Emmett cried out loud, and they all gave him threatening glares. The plan – so far – was to be _quiet_.

"Mine!" Jacob claimed, a few seconds after the words were out of Emmett's mouth and they had stopped glaring at him.

"The butterfly?" Jasper suggested. Alice mused for a second, then her face lit up.

"Perfect! I knew there was a reason you were my husband" Alice teased. Jasper, his mood brighter now too, a parallel to his wife, cajoled back.

"Well, I try" his Southern twang was present in the words, and Alice smiled to herself. Great ideas wasn't the only reason he was her husband.

"That you do, Mr Whitlock" Alice stepped closer to her husband, but Rosalie stepped between them.

"Save the lovey dovey crap for later, we have some business to take care of" Rosalie used her arm to move the couple away from each other, and Jacob scoffed.

"You're so sweet, aren't you?" he cooed mockingly, and she wrinkled her nose at him.

"Shut up" Rosalie dismissed him with a flick of her hair, sending her honey hair around eastwards, L'Oreal commercial style.

"Nice hair, but is she really worth it?" Jacob asked, his voice bold and grand, like someone in an advert. Jasper made a buzzing noise and started shaking his head, and Alice laughed.

"She is worth it, shampoo models fear her!" Emmett cried, throwing his arms around Rosalie's waist.

"You bet your life they do" Rosalie grinned, the two looking fearsome in their embrace.

"Let's just start the film again, okay?" Alice asked, wanting to get back to her film.

"Right, so your code name is The Butterfly, Rosalie is The Fox, and Jacob is Flame Boy" Jasper clarified.

"Hell yes I am" Jake opened out his hand and Nessie slapped it, the two grinning stupidly.

"So how about Nessie is Flame Girl?" Jasper suggested, Renesmee nodding eagerly before he had a chance to turn to her.

"Oh, I can be The Cougar. No, The Panther. No! No! The Anaconda, that's so me!" Emmett said enthusiastically, raising his hand for a high five from Rosalie. When she crossed her arms he turned toward Jasper and Alice, to see them both shaking their heads. The last resort, Jacob, didn't disappoint though. Jake slapped Emmett's hand and he grinned, glad not to have been rejected by everyone.

"I couldn't leave you hanging, dawg" Jacob crossed his arms, a clear 'wannabe gangster' movement.

"Cough, epic fail, cough" Emmett said, making the others grin.

"Hey, I high-fived you, don't make me take it back" he warned, stepping forward.

"The pasts the past, bro" Emmett reasoned, pulling off gangster much better than Jacob could.

"Yeah, well get ready for a history lesson!" Jacob shouted, leaping towards him. Unfortunately, Alice grabbed the back of his shirt and threw him backwards. The tree he fell into started making an odd groaning noise.

"We're lucky Edward and Bella haven't come to investigate, they must be really involved with each other!" The group winced, even Nessie, who though should be too young to understand what the others were talking about, but clearly too much time with Emmett had corrupted her.

"We'll be quiet! Just shut up about those things, there is a _child_ present" Jacob whisper hissed, covering Nessie's ears.

"I wasn't talking about that actually, it's not my fault you all have dirty minds" Alice replied, holding her head high. She wasn't going to be beaten by a werewolf, even one that was a 'friend' of the family. They all sighed and left it, starting to gather their things for the attack.

"Right Jasper, let's do this" Alice pushed back her hair and closed her eyes, composing herself. Jasper nodded, counted down on his fingers and motioned for the others to be silent. _Record!_

"This is Plan Epic Edward Fail, chosen by The Anaconda (or Emmett). Taking part in the mission is me, The Butterfly, Rosalie or The Fox, Jacob and Nessie, Flame Boy and Flame Girl, and Jasper, The General. I'm handing you over to The General for the plan" Jasper twisted the camera to face him and the rest of the group paid attention. Jasper grabbed a stick, handing the camera to Alice, and started to draw on the forest floor.

"Okay, so we are here" Jasper marked a circle and drew two trees as vampire speed in the dirt.

"Our target Edward, accompanied by Bella, are here" Jasper drew two stick people, a few feet away from their drawing.

"We are going to swiftly and silently move through the forest, coming around the rear end" a line followed the path around, until an arrow pointed behind the Edward and Bella stick figures.

"From here we will launch a surprise attack. From there Alice will take over, in leading, then we will decide what to do from there" Jasper nodded to the others, and they nodded back, showing they understood.

"Now, does everybody know what they're doing?" They all nodded again, set in their discussed plans.

"Come on, guys, let's do this!" Alice put her hands in centre, holding the camera in the other hand, whilst five pale hands, topped off by a russet coloured one, put their hands in.

"Three, two, one, CULLENS!" They shouted as quietly as they could, all grinning. Just before Alice turned the camera off, Jacob whispered near the lens;

"And Black!" She looked at him disapprovingly but didn't delete it. He was partly the reason they hadn't been decimated by the Volturi, as much as they hated to admit it.

"Let's go" Jasper breathed, and they followed him into the jungle. Three minutes later, they watched on as Bella and Edward talked and eventually jumped in the river. Alice waited for the perfect opportunity to attack – a kiss.

"So you're going to break up their moment" Jacob asked as Alice started to lead them forward.

"Yes, got a problem with it?" She asked, starting to emerge from the trees. Jacob shook his head and grinned.

"No, I love it"

"We might just get on well with you Jacob Black" Alice smiled, and the others ran forward. "ATTACK!"

**AN – The run up to the battle! You've had both perspectives now, but what will happen next? I've got some revising to do, so the next update will be Sunday! **


	23. The Human Offensive

Belladventure Chapter 22 –

**AN – No, I have broken my promise to Edward (sorry Autumn!)! You can blame tests and a crappy internet connection for that. But that's the bad news over with, the good news is; no more tests for me! I just have to get through to the end of school now... **

It was diabolical. Jasper, Jacob and Emmett took the offensive, with Alice, Rosalie and Nessie flanking them. Jasper was leading the battle, shouting things so quickly that Bella and Edward almost didn't catch them.

Everything was in a commotion. The water, peaceful and serene before had turned harsh, the waves gaining current and drenching the couple further, as the hundreds of litres of water poured from the waterfall. Bella briefly had time to consider whether this was natural or if they had broke a dam before the main attack started.

Jasper and Emmett leaped in to the water, synchronised and graceful, enough to break a swimmers heart. Jacob came back from the offensive, letting Alice charge forward and dove into the water, not before doing two perfect somersaults first. Jacob and Rosalie disappeared into the forest, returning in a few moments with blindfolds – or gags. This wasn't going to be pleasant.

By this time they were being dragged out of the water by Jasper and Emmett, though strangely being held half in, half out of the water. Bella came to an understanding when she felt hard, brittle rope bind her legs together. She squirmed, growling at Emmett's grinning face. He must have been chosen to hold her, some of her newborn strength might have overpowered Jasper. But not Emmett it seemed. She felt so weak.

On the other side she could hear Edward's vicious snarls, and couldn't believe that he hadn't heard what they were planning. He must have been too wrapped up in their conversation, Bella knew she certainly was...

"Mom, dad, don't struggle. It's just a game" Nessie's sweet voice sounded almost oxymoronic, coupled with the somewhat evil words she had just uttered.

"Alice, Rose, you've corrupted Nessie!" Bella cried, shocked at her daughters behaviour this holiday. First she helps lock Edward in a plane, and now she was betraying her own mother. Traitor!

"She was bound to take after our example sometime Bella" Rosalie breezed, and the sound of a high five came to her ears. They had been blindfolded – well she assumed Edward had too – now.

"Alice, you're gonna pay for this!" Bella shouted, imaging what she could do to the Porsche...

"NO! NOT THE PORSCHE!" Alice screamed after a few seconds, already seeing some of Bella's plans.

"You just wait Alice, your car's time will come" Bella grinned, happy to be planning some revenge. She would have to have a serious conversation with her daughter later.

"I always knew that Jacob was a bad influence" Edward murmured, and she snorted. Blaming Jacob, of course. But she had to admit, she was already warming to the idea...

"But it's innocent, it's done nothing wrong!" Alice shouted, getting out of the water. Someone threw something to her, and Bella heard the fibres running over Alice's clothes. That would be a towel then.

"So we know why Emmett joined, because Rosalie wanted to win. Why did you join Alice?" Bella asked. Edward recited Alice's answer simultaneously.

"Because it's fun" Edward's voice a dull monotone, in contrast to Alice's chipper attitude. Clearly the Porsche jibs were forgotten. "Plus Jasper hasn't seen any action in a while" Bella could almost hear the grin in Alice's voice, and she heard footsteps approaching who she assumed to be Jasper. A peck on the cheek confirmed this theory.

"And you, Jacob. Nessie?" Bella asked, gesturing in the general direction of where she thought they were.

"Well...I hate to admit it, but I agree with the L'Oreal advert over there" he wrinkled his nose, pointing to Rose.

"I'm assuming you mean Rosalie" Bella said.

"Yes, he does" Edward nodded. They were been herded now, Bella felt vaguely like a sheep. They had to step out of the lake; blindfolded. This was going to be difficult. She jumped, but felt sluggish in the water, and the warm water – in contrast to her skin – was distracting, as dampness from being above water set in, and the currents still lapped at her thighs. She stepped up, with one foot on the ground, but the other wobbled precariously.

"Get the camera, get the camera!" Emmett hissed, a hint of laughter in his hushed voice. Bella felt herself going, and Edward, hearing her leg shift through the air, reached out, but kept missing her flailing foot. Alice pressed a button and a little beeping sound came from where Alice was standing. Which means that the camera was recording. This was going to be humiliating, Bella thought to herself, as she struggled to regain balance. She was either going to fall on her face, or back in the water, and Emmett nor Jasper would help her. There was a chance someone would help her up if she fell on her face, so this was preferable. But of course, it her Bella. So she accidently misdistributed her weight, and felt herself toppling backwards. She heard the water rushing in her ears as she rolled backwards, before breaking the surface to the sound of booming laughter – Emmett – and the chuckles of everyone else.

"Look, guys, human Bella's back! Next you should punch Jacob in the face" Emmett said in between laughs, and Jacob scowled.

"Hey, she might actually do some damage this time!" He complained, and Bella struggled to get her breath back, despite not really needing it. The water had seemed almost cold as she had struggled to break the surface, and it had given her an unpleasant reminder of when she almost drowned.

"Just shut up" her defence was weak, and if anything this made them laugh harder.

"Carlisle and Esme won't believe they missed this" Jasper smiled and Alice kept the camera rolling. This was too good.

"So are you going to kidnap us or not! I'm wet, and sort of cold!" She whined, something that Bella didn't do often, but at the moment she felt the occasion called for it. Emmett's booming laugh sounded in her ear; an uncomfortable and unwelcome siren.

"She is back! Oh, I missed your human ways" he grinned, and Bella hoisted herself out of the lake, and into Alice's waiting hands. She handed her a towel, and Bella dried herself off, along with Edward.

"Come guys, let's go. We've got work to do" Emmett grinned evilly, and Bella heard the sound of Nessie's innocent laugh. How had this gone so wrong? She felt Alice's tiny hand on the small of her back, herding her into the forest. Edward leaned close to Bella's ear, and breathed;

"We're just humouring her, right. As soon as we have an opportunity, we go prison break."

"You bet" Bella breathed back, letting herself be lead further into the unknown...


	24. How Did We Get Here?

Belladventure Chapter 23 –

**AN – Sorry it's late, I've been packaging for France! (I'm going on Friday, so there will be another chapter when I get back!)**

"I don't know what I've been told!" Alice chanted, marching the group forwards into the forest. Edward and Bella followed, Alice and Jasper in front of them, Emmett and Rosalie at the sides, and Jacob and Nessie behind them. There was no escape. Yet.

"I don't know what I've been told!" The rest of the group – excluding Edward and Bella of course – repeated happily, marching along with Alice's army facade.

"We've got Edward and Bella on hold!" Alice shouted, even more exuberant than before. The rest murmured it, even less exuberant than before, and Edward snorted.

"That's the best you could come up with? Seriously?" He asked, Bella joining in with his laugh. They were captives, they were allowed to be bitter.

"Well, I think it's good" Alice held her head high, not that they could see this of course. Edward could tell the gesture from her thoughts though.

"Even with your head that high, you don't come close to me Alice" the petite vampire quivered slightly with anger at a jibe about her height, and Jasper put a calming hand on her shoulder.

"You're bigger than him in brains, fashion sense and power, you silly thing" Jasper murmured, pulling her into an impromptu hug. Alice clasped on for a couple of seconds before releasing him and stepping back into her stride, the bounce noticeable in her step.

"See? I am better than you, Edward" Alice smirked, and Bella could hear the smugness in her tone.

"Couldn't you _see_ that Alice?" Edward jeered, and Bella smacked him, though very gently. Normally she wouldn't like Edward using that tone with her sister, but today she was feeling a bit more relaxed. Wonder why...

"Hush, Edward, you're spoiling my day" she breezed as she skipped on ahead.

"Oh, really? Well we do apologize Alice, you know it wasn't exactly our idea to get _captured_ by our own _family_" the bitterness in Edward's tone was evident, and it upsetted Bella. They were ruining everything! Time to ditch this party, and soon. She felt convinction run through her, and Jasper quickly turned his head towards her, as Alice gasped and stopped midstep. Her plan had been foiled.

"Don't you even think about doing that Isabella Marie Cullen! Don't ruin our fun!" Alice cried, abundantly trying to salvage the situation.

"Then stop ruining ours! You've crossed the line here Alice. You all have. Maybe you're not the people I thought you were..." Bella tried to stop herself from feeling guilty – something that would instantly give away her facade to Jasper – and focused on her families pressing silence. Bella pulled down her shield, managing to get the message to Edward; _get ready. We need to get out of here. We need to win. _Edward breathed slightly louder, and Bella took this as a sign that he agreed. Bella didn't know what she was going to do, and that was good. It would mean less chance of Alice knowing and stopping their plans. Which would be really bad, as Alice would be very mad...

"Oh, Bella, you know we're not doing this to you" Rosalie cooed, patting her right arm.

"Oh really?" She started, repeating Edward's words before. "Then who are you doing this to? Me and Edward are a package deal. If you do something to him, you're doing something to me. Do you really want to do that to me? What did I do wrong?" Bella let her voice become quiet, almost childlike as she trailed off for effect. A gentle tugging came on the edges of Jacob's tee-shirt and he looked down at Nessie's pleading face.

"What's up, Ness?" Jacob scooped her up into his arms, and she put her dainty, pale hand onto his russet forehead. _I feel bad, I don't want to do this to mom anymore._ Jake frowned, before stepping away from Bella and Edward.

"Nessie feels bad, I'm out." He crossed his arms, Jacob mimicking his actions.

"No Nessie! Jacob, stay, then Renesmee will!" Alice pleaded. He shook his head profusely.

"Emmett, get away from Bella." Rosalie ordered. Emmett stayed hesitantly, looking between Alice, Jasper and his wife. After deciding who would do the worst to him if he refused, he stepped away.

"No!" Alice gasped, shocked they were all abandoning her plan.

"Honey, it is kind of...cruel" Jasper disagreed, looking uncomfortable at the prospect.

"Even your own husband has turned on you-!" Edward started, but Bella, moving her finger along his face and finding his lips, silenced him with her finger. _You'll make it worse._

"Well, well, what can we do?" Alice despaired. They had all stopped walking now, and Bella used the opportunity to pull off her blindfold. Around her was a line of trees, the green dappled light reflecting dully onto their skin.

"Let them go..." the whisper came from Emmett, and they all starred at him. He grinned sheepishly.

It wasn't me, it was the trees" he said speculatively, gesturing to them. They rolled their eyes. Of course it was. Suddenly their conversation was interrupted by shuffling from the trees. Eight pairs of eyes turned around to the right (Edward too had abandoned his blindfold) and they watched as the cannibal leader walked out of the trees.

"Ah, I have found you" he said, looking at them all. Scanning for weapons presumably. Finding none, but seeing two of their own as captives, his brow wrinkled.

"Not this guy again" Emmett muttered, sighing slightly. Their thoughts all mirrored the same thing. Mistaking their annoyance as being afraid, he put his hands up in innocence.

"Do not worry, I will not hurt you. But we will hurt them if you don't comply" in unison their eyebrows rose. This wasn't good.

"Who will you hurt?" Rosalie asked, taking a tentative step forward. Her foot shifted and her stance lowered into a crouch infinitesimally. They – excluding the cannibal leader – knew what this meant. The Cullens copied Rosalie's actions. Fight.

"Your parents. Carlisle and Esme, correct?" He asked, a low growls went through the crowd. They didn't like this one bit.

"Yes, you are correct" Edward said, through gritted teeth. In his mind Edward could see the image of them, as the cannibals chaperoned them to another location. But why would they so willingly go?

"If you want to see them, come with me" he lead of into the jungle, and the group sighed.

"We have no choice now, do we?" Jasper asked, and they shook their heads.

"Technically they're not my parents-" Jacob started, but stopped when he saw the Cullens threatening glares. He was going with them.

"Let's go and rescue them!" Alice declared, and they all nodded their heads.

"Who are we?" She shouted as they followed the leader into the forest.

"THE CULLENS!" Came the response.

"What are we going to do?" She asked. Emmett's answer came first.

"Beat the crap out of some cannibals!" The leader looked behind him, worried, but was relieved to only hear the murmurs, not as agreeable as before.

"How about get them back and go home?" Rosalie suggested. A much louder shout came from the family, and the leader sighed. He didn't like that big one...

The nine of them went further into the forest, once again in a situation when they had no idea how they got there.

**CPOV – I'm giving you a little treat, let me know if you like it! **

How did we get here? The whole situation was ridiculous. He and Esme had been minding their own business, running sat a human pace through the forest when they were aware of people following them. They were outnumbered, but seeing as the footsteps were distinctly human, it was likely that the two of them would win if they fought. That would never happen of course, but it was nice to be prepared for whatever the situation may lead to. Esme had given him a meaningful glance, and they had both stopped, to assess the situation.

Slowly, with careful silence – though it would never be silent enough for their ears – the crowd eased their way into the area. Six of them surrounded the area, and my stance had relaxed.

"We mean you no harm" I'd said, slowing my words, and gripping Esme's hand. Feigning fear would give them the upper hand, and make he and Esme look like the weaker opposition, rather than the other way around.

"As do we" the sentence was clipped, the English not exactly right. But I had gotten the general idea. They meant no harm either.

"But." The single word caught their attention. There was a _but_?

"What do you mean but?" Esme asked, her head leaning in unconsciously in confusion.

"There is someone, or some people, that harm may come to if you do not comply with what we want." I shared a glance with my wife, and I knew what this meant. The children.

"What have you done?" My words were deliberately slow, like I was trying to process the information – though it was processed far more quickly than human minds were ever capable of.

"We have the children. They will be saved if you come with us. Safely" he strained on the last word, and both Esme and I sighed. Watching the group form a loose circle around us, I nodded and the speaker lead us into the jungle, to our children. How did we get here? And what were we going to do now?


	25. Welcome to Crazy Ville

Belladventure Chapter 24

**AN – Hey guys, I'm back! And I've only got one and a half more days of school left, woo! Three cheers for the end of school! **

"So...do you come here often?" Emmet asked the leader as he strode on knowingly ahead. Various tuts came from the rest of his family. To their surprise, the cannibal answered.

"Yes, it is in fact one of my favourite spots in the jungle" his voice was gruff, but had a fluidity to it. The voice was slightly disconcerting, it sounded very...odd.

"That's-that's nice" Emmett's voice wavered, not sure what to make of the statement.

"It is very nice" the leader reasonably agreed. Not sure what else to say in the awkward conversation, they walked in silence for the remainder of the journey.

"Well, one thing's for sure, we'll never win the race now" Esme sighed as she looked towards her husband. Both of them were bound with rope, but as soon as she was wrapped in it, she could detect weaknesses in the string. They could easily escape, but if they were already coming for her, she didn't want them to be split up again, and have the hassle of trying to find each other. They might as well let the chips fall where they may, even if the chips were in a slightly odd situation.

"I think that was a given" Carlisle said, looking around at their surroundings. It was a campsite, with teepees and everything. A crackling fire sat in the middle of the area, and he internally smirked. _Good luck trying to fry them._ If they cannibals goal was to eat them, then they would have another thing coming. The only ones really at risk were Renesmee – and Edward and Bella would die before any harm came to their daughter, along with Jacob – and Jake could take care of himself. If he needed help, then we (well most of the family at least) would be there for him. They had come on this holiday together, they weren't going to leave one person behind, that was for sure.

"True" Esme agreed, watching as two people squabbled over some matter, in another local language. One of them tried to storm off and the other tripped him over, making him come periously close to the fire. Whilst the situation for the victim wasn't at all funny, the look on his face as he fell just inches away from the fire was priceless. Fear and anguish, all in the space of a few seconds. Esme started laughing, and Carlisle, also seeing the trip laughed along. Suddenly a thought occurred to Esme.

"Carlsile?" She asked, her voice high.

"Yes, dear?" Carlisle didn't know what her question would be, and waited while she quickly thought it over.

"What happened to the camera?" The question caught him off guard, and he stared out at the tent for a few seconds.

"I know Alice has one" he said, thinking about the others.

"But didn't we have another?" Esme thought, and she was sure they had taken one with them, and given the other to the children's group.

"Yes, we did. It's in the pack!" Carlisle realised, and he looked around. Where had they last put their packs? Not seeing their hiker's packs anywhere – bought from Newton's of course – they sighed. The cannibals must have taken it. But what would they do with it?

"They better not destroy or delete anything on it. I have some very good films on there" Carlisle smirked, thinking about all of the films of their family, secretly recorded on that camera. The grand reveal was going to be hysterical, if their family was concerned. He couldn't bear the thought of his secrecy going unrewarded.

"Yes, it would be a great waste of $1000" she nodded, thinking of the camera's high price tag. She wasn't really concerned about the money, but she was trying to keep her mind of what the children were doing. Were they okay?

"I guess we'll just have to wait and see..." Carlisle said, leaning back on a rock.

"I suppose we will" Esme smiled weakly, closing her eyes.

"So..." Emmett started, and the rest of them groaned.

"Emmett, stop trying to make small talk with him!" Alice scolded, and Emmett opened his arms in wide eyed innocence.

"It's not my fault if I want to fill the silence! Besides, I've always wanted a penpal" he grinned, and the rest of them sighed.

"We can find you a new penpal Emmett" Rosalie patted his shoulder patronisingly.

"Hey, don't baby me" he glared, annoyed, at Alice and Rosalie. When Rosalie met his stare with an even more hostile one, he stopped. He had learned a long time ago to never piss off Rosalie. Being hung from that tree upside-down for a whole day had been a bit uncomfortable... But on the plus side, he had felt like Batman for a couple of hours, he kept trying to pull supplies from his belt. Then when he got down he decorated Edward's Volvo as the Batmobile and drove around Forks. When he got back Edward was angry...

"Emmett. Emmett" Rosalie was clicking her fingers in front his face, as he started at Edward in awe. Edward starting to get uncomfortable at Emmett's vacant stare moved behind Jasper.

"Oh, what?" Emmett asked, finally coming back from his reverie.

"You completely spaced out in the middle of a sentence, Emmett. We were worried" Alice explained.

"Well, as worried as we ever are with Emmett" Jasper clarified, watching the leader's head reflex, listening in on the conversation. They were walking in a group now, rather than in one uniform line. It made the situation slightly more comfortable.

"So, as I was _saying_" Emmett spared a glare for Alice, avoiding Rosalie's piercing eyes completely.

"Yes, what were you saying Emmett" Bella said, speaking up for the first time, but rolling her eyes indicating sarcasm.

"I wanted to know what your favourite colour was, Mr. Leader Cannibal for Africa, sir" he saluted mid stride, and Jasper muttered 'oh _dear_' bleakly under his breath.

"Cannibal Leader for Africa? Hmm, I like this name" the leader agreed, and Emmett beamed, proud with himself for creating the name.

"Yeah, I'm nothing if not polite" he grinned. The leader, responding well to Emmett's cheery attitude, smiled.

"My favourite colour is...red" he said, after a few seconds thought.

"Oh really? And why is that?" Emmett asked. Alice chirping in added;

"Is it because red is the colour of passion and love" she said dreamily, looking towards Jasper. He gave her a toothy grin.

"No" he disagreed, his step getting slower. They were close.

"Why then?" Jacob asked, his head tilting closer to hear the answer.

"Because red is the colour of blood and danger." The calm way he said the words sent chills down their spines. They were all wearing a wide eyed look that said '_crazy!_' in a high pitched voice.

"That's-that's nice" Emmett replied, filling the ominous silence, and using the same phrase as before.

"It is" he said agreeably, parting the trees.

"Welcome" the said to the group, letting them into the little village.

"Welcome to Crazy Ville, full of Africa's craziest. Make sure to buy souvenirs, preferably before you're eaten!" Rosalie said in a sarcastic voice, though quiet enough so the humans wouldn't hear and they laughed.

"Now featuring Carlisle and Esme, the only vampires in the village" Edward added, laughing.

"Don't forget about us, six vampires, a hybrid and a werewolf" Jasper smiled.

"We could make a sitcom!" Emmett marvelled, and the rest laughed again.

"We'll get around to that later. Now, we have to 'beat the crap out of some cannibals!" Jacob smirked, and Emmett nodded.

"Hell yeah!" He agreed, and put his fist in. The rest of the group grinned and put their fists in too.

"Three, two, one, CULLENS!"

**AN – Don't worry, the race hasn't been completely abandoned. They'll finish it soon, just not yet. Sorry it's late, I came back from France (thank you for your reviews of well wishing!) and have been celebrating the summer; a lot. But I'll have loads of free time, which means more chapters, and quicker too. Yay!**


	26. Jacob and the Teepee

**Belladventure Chapter 25 – **

"A little to the left" Esme whispered, and Carlisle shuffled long the ground.

"A little to the right" Esme said, making Carlisle change direction.

"A little to the left, a little to the right..." Carlisle sung, nodding his head and moving his fists like he was playing the drums. Carlisle Cullen; Rockstar.

"Carlisle!" Esme said, trying to keep him focused.

"I'll be a rockstar one day honey, Nickelback told me" he grinned and Esme gave him a look which said 'I love him but sometimes he can be really silly'.

"I'm sure you will dear, but for now, let's get that camera!" She whisper-shouted and Carlisle nodded in agreement. They discovered that when the two villagers were having a fight, one of them knocked a rock away which was covering some bags; their bags. Now they were slowly shuffling along, trying to reach them without really drawing any attention to themselves.

"Quick, their attention is diverted, move, move, move!" Esme cried quietly, and the two silently shuffled further than before, covering a good few inches before a human's head started to turn towards them. In an attempt to seem nonchalant they turned their heads away, seemingly staring up at the sky. They were a few moments away from whistling, when a rustle coming from the trees distracted them. This is what the villagers were all staring at. It was them, their children had come! At last they could finally get out of here.

**Jacob POV (Yes, it may be unpopular but it'll have a funny ending) –**

We came into the clearing to see Carlisle and Esme, tied up in pitifully weak rope and staring longingly at a bag across the way. It must be theirs. From the trail in the ground, it was clear they had been shifting their way across to it without trying to look inconspicuous. Amateurs. They could have faked an illness, said the medicine was in their pack and simple, they would have it. Why go through the slower process? Unless they had time to kill, possibly waiting for us all to turn up.

We had Emmett to blame for that, we could have walked faster if we had been silent, but no, Emmett has to go and make friends with the people eater. That red thing was creepy, for sure. And the speculative looks he kept giving me were not good at all...

"We are back, with friends" the warm smile he gave Emmett when he said 'friends' was strange, but his annoying behaviour may have actually paid off for once, if the leader was on our side then no bad could come of it, right? The rest of the tribe nodded and responded with murmurs, coming closer to examine us. Their probing looks felt invading, like they were entering my personal space. I didn't like it at all. I especially didn't like how close one of them was coming to Nessie. If she hadn't of been in Rosalie's arms – she gave him the eviliest glare I've ever seen and he backed off straight away. The blonde bimbo was good for something after all! – I would have completely lost it.

In the corner of my eye I saw Edward smirk, trying to hold back a laugh. Probably listening to my thoughts, stupid vampire mind reader. Thinking of disturbing images of pack explosions of nakedness deterred him, and I was glad those scarring memories could be used for something. If I had them, I might as well put them to use.

"So, what will we do?" Another one spoke up, in strangely disjointed English. It was understandable, but very accented, and each word was spoken with care. Across the wide space, next to a tepee – strangely enough – there was an open English dictionary. They had probably used that thing as their bible since we turned up, us strange English speaking creatures.

"Are they woodland creatures?" A woman in the back asked, and I laughed quietly. Woodland creatures, indeed.

"Yes, I know what you mean. He is bear" the leader pointed to Emmett and he grinned.

"She is pixie" the first one said, pointing at Alice. She twirled gracefully. Show off.

"Princess and prince" a woman at the side pointed towards Bella and Edward. Figures, they always have to be the main characters, the stars, all wrapped up in their Edward and Bella land, la la la.

"You are strong, like lion" the leader pointed to Jasper, and Alice hugged her 'lion'.

"She is witch" the one who was glared at by Rosalie claimed, and she gasped in shock. My raucous laughter disrupted the calm and if I thought I saw evil before, Blondie's glare had nothing on this. I couldn't stop myself, it was just _too_ good an opportunity.

"Oh what are you going to do, witch? Curse me? Brew me in your cauldron?" The others had started to stifle their laughs now, though I was pretty sure they were crying with laughter on the inside. Nessie was having a great time, beaming across at me, whilst Bella hid her expression in her hair. I don't blame her, the rest of her family wanted to do that too.

"Shut up, dog" the one who previously spoke dismissed, and Rosalie gave a victorious grin.

"Whatever, witch" I grinned, and she huffed, annoyed.

"The little girl is fairy" a child looked on in wonder, and I smiled. What a nice kid.

"We should eat her" okay, the kid wasn't so nice. And how dare he say that about _my_ Renesmee. I felt myself shaking, and Bella quickly rushed to stand by me, with Nessie touching my arm. I exhaled and calmed down, to their relief.

"Right, so now we've all been assigned _woodland_ creatures, what shall we do next?" Edward asked, with Emmett rubbing his hands together to emphasise his point. He was the only one remotely enthusiastic about any of this situation.

"I will take dog" the leader spoke up, and all their eyes diverted to me.

"Excuse me?" My high pitched voice spoke up, mostly from the shock of everybody's sudden attention.

"I want you" he pointed, and Emmett so graciously provided a whistle. Giving him a hostile glare, I walked over to him.

"I don't understand what you mean" I talked slowly, hoping he understood. He did. He nodded, slowly like me, then without warning pulled my free hand and took me into his tent.

"Yeah, get in there Jakey boy!" Emmett wooped and whistled, with the rest of them laughing. Before the fabric covered the outside I saw Carlisle on the other side of the camp, camera in hand with the red recording light on. It was on _tape_ too? I was never going to get over this.

**3****rd**** Person – **

"Someone's pulled" Rosalie grinned, and the Cullen's sniggered. Only this would happen to Jacob. From inside the tent came a cry of disgust, and a still human but somewhat wolfy howl.

"Bingo" Jasper said quietly, and they tried to refrain from laughing too much. Rosalie, the 'wicked witch of Africa' was the only one openly laughing, as Jake had done to her.

"Seeing as leader has taken a selected one, it means he has accepted you" the 'vice president' it seemed spoke, and saying the words, two tribes people went to undo Esme and Carlisle. They looked slightly confused at their new positions, but nonetheless they still went over and untied them.

"Are you serious? We're free?" Emmett asked in wonder. He didn't think they would be this reasonable.

"The price of freedom was Jacob, who knew?" Edward said lightly, Bella not sure whether to laugh or be angry.

"AHHH!" A screaming Jacob came running out of the tent, and as he did, Alice made a reappearance.

"Alice where have you been?" Jasper whispered, hoping no one else would hear.

"Around" she grinned, hiding the video camera behind her. Tracing her steps, Jasper beamed with her.

"You sneaky pixie" he charmed in his southern drawl, making note to definitely watch that video later.

"So, now everyone is here, shall we leave?" Carlisle asked, wiping dust off his clothes.

"What about the race?" Rosalie asked, leaning on the balls of her feet.

"Well I guess we could start from here-" the words were hardly out of Carlisle's mouth before they had shot off, straight into the jungle.

"Kids" Esme tutted, smiling.

"Hey, I wanna be a rockstar..." Carlisle hummed quietly under his breath.

"I'll get you a drum kit for Christmas, okay dear?" Esme patted his arm, and his face lit up. He was just a 360 year old child inside.

"Race you" he smiled, and the two set off to join the race, leaving the tribe of now welcoming cannibals in their dust.


	27. Waterfall Wonderings

Belladventure Chapter 26 –

**AN – Belladventure! now has 100 reviews! Thank you all my lovely reviewers, you rock my Matalan socks!**

"So, Jacob...." Emmett started as they ran together. They hadn't yet split up as they were running on the same track, until they got to the upcoming waterfall, in which they all had different routes to take from there.

"No, Emmett, I won't tell you what happened" Jacob sighed, and desperately tried not to think about it, pushing everything besides the present to the back of his mind. Edward would give him up.

"Why? Was it really that bad?" Edward asked, secretly trying to probe Jacob's mind for the answers. He could have read the leader's mind, but he had been too focused on Carlisle and Esme getting free, than what was going on in the tent not ten metres away from him.

"It was _that_ bad. So many bad memories..." Jacob shuddered, as he thought; _better add that to the collection_.

"Well it doesn't matter anyway, because we can always" Jasper halted, knowing that if he revealed Alice's film, not only would everyone want to watch right now, but Jacob would find some way to delete it. And that couldn't happen! So he changed his sentence, without only a second's pause "get you drunk. Human's reveal everything when they're drunk" he completed the sentence, sounding matter of fact.

"How would you know? Beside's I'm no lightweight" Jake scoffed, thinking about his size and werewolf genes. No way would they allow him to be a lightweight. Though he had never really gotten drunk, even thought Paul and Jared had tried to convince him to at bonfires. Those two were bad influences...

"I happen to have a degree in Psychology, I could get it out of you right now if I wanted to" Jasper replied, but really hoped no one would ask him to demonstrate his skills. He was no hypnotist, that was for sure.

"Oh really? Show me" he said, though regretted it as soon as he said it. If he wasn't bluffing, then a horrible truth was about to emerge. Edward, saving them both the embarrassment, changed the subject.

"The waterfall should be right ahead" he diverted the subject, looking towards the map.

"Yes, then we can finally win this race" Rosalie huffed, glad at the thought of getting away from everyone. Her family drove her half crazy sometimes. Well, actually, most times. She usually felt like the only sane one in this family. A scoff came from Edward, and she glowered.

"If you're the only sane one Rosalie, I'd hate to think what we're like. No wonder everyone avoids us at school!" He cried, and Bella laughed.

"I don't think it was your insanity that people avoided you for" she chimed, remembering from personal experience. All those years ago, deducing that they must want the isolation, rather than crave it. That money and beauty could buy you that much...And now she was a part of it all. What a strange world.

"Well done Bella, at least someone is actually _using_ their brain today" Edward rolled his eyes, and Rosalie characteristically glared.

"Oh what, as opposed to you never using it Edward?" She counted, sounding smug at the jibe.

"Yeah, I'm a real halfwit aren't I? That's why I always OWN YOUR ASS at Trivial Pursuit" Edward shouted, looking rather his smug with himself now. The rest of them groaned.

"Please don't bring up Trivial Pursuit again!" Alice cried, dramatically throwing her arms across her face, shielding her eyes from the light in horror.

"Esme's poor furniture..." Bella muttered, recalling the incident.

"Oh come on, you know I was amazing. Like a Trivial Pursuit ninja" he laughed and they all stared at him. Edward became a very different person when Trivial Pursuit was involved. It was frightening.

"You may have the brains, but we all know who wins at Call of Duty!" Emmett boldly claimed, crossing his arms over his puffed out chest.

"You mean Jasper" Edward said dully. Emmett chest deflated.

"Oh, yeah. Stupid vampire wars!" He cursed, and Jasper scowled.

"They weren't stupid. And of course I bear you at Call of Duty, you lot are amateurs. The only person who has a chance of beating me is Renesme" they all looked at the child, currently playing with a flower on the forest floor.

"Oh, she looks innocent now. But get her on an Xbox and it's like BOOM. Mad skills erupt" Emmett explained to the rest of the family.

"Mad skills, Emmett? Seriously? Where do you get this stuff?" Rosalie said in disgust. He looked down sheepishly.

"It's TV, isn't it?" She sounded like a mother scolding her child, and Emmett's slow, embarrassed nod added to the effect.

"We never should have got him that TiVo" she muttered under her breath, before the conversation went in a different direction.

"Anyway...whose seen that vampire film?" Alice asked, and the rest of the family looked at her questioningly.

"Oh, you mean that one where the vampire and human fall in love? What a cliché, as if that could ever happen" Jasper scoffed, and Bella coughed pointedly.

"Oh, apart from you guys of course. Your love is 'special'" he made quotation marks in the air, and Edward shook his head.

"Glad to hear you think so highly of us" he said sarcastically.

"Yeah, apart from that it's quite good though" Alice shrugged.

"Oh, apart from that one guy. What's his name? Jason, something like that. Anyway, he looks like he's in pain, _all the time_. Three words; get. A. Grip" Jasper laughed, and the rest laughed along with him.

"And did you see that guy with the long hair? The tribal one? What a weirdo. Seriously, his hair." Jacob's wide eyes conveyed his thoughts about the character, and the rest all nodded in agreement.

"It's quite sweet though. The sequel comes out in November, Old Sun, or something like that. Let's go and see it!" Alice planned ahead, and they all agreed.

"Whey! We're finally at the waterfall!" Emmett cheered, and the rest cheered along, though not as enthusiastically.

"I guess we'll split up then" Edward sighed, getting out his map. The others followed suit.

"Yes, we should be seeing Carlisle and Esme soon" Bella noted, dislodging her compass out of her pocket.

"We should be there in precisely three hours. Oh, I nearly saw who won then. I guess it could all change" Alice said unhappily, not being able to predict her own future yet.

"We will win. And you will lose" Rosalie threatened. Emmett came to her side, backing her up.

"Yeah because we're the Cullens. And the Cullens never lose" he said in a menacing voice, though Emmett couldn't really pull of menacing. It was more like bad cop threatens criminal in cheap TV show.

"Uh, Emmett" Jasper started, pointing out something quite crucial. "We're the Cullen's too" Emmett, shuffling around after this statement, rebuked.

"Well, they're not!" He pointed fiercely over to Jacob, who looked bewildered to suddenly be a part of the conversation.

"One of them is" Bella inputted, holding Nessie's hand for the time they had left.

"I meant Jacob. I've got my eye on you" he put two curled fingers up to his eyes before pointing back and forth towards Jacob, the definitive 'I'm watching you' gesture.

"Emmett! Please stop watching cable!" Rose cried, his cheesy 'gangster meets cowboy' attitude making her despair.

"Okay, I will" he said in a normal, if not slightly obedient voice. When Rose's back was turned he went straight back to doing the gesture, his eyes squinting in an attempt – which failed – to give Jacob the evil eye. Then, an idea flashing across his mind which led both Alice and Edward to start giggling uncontrollably, Emmett decided to act. Before Jake could ask what was going on, Emmett had pulled him into an impromptu hug.

"I'm going to miss you!" he cried loudly, before whispering quietly;

"Tell me what happened or I throw you in the waterfall."

"No. You wouldn't dare" Jacob gripped on tighter to Emmett's side, anchoring himself despite his words.

"Fine. Have a nice swim" with haste, Emmett threw Jacob out of his hands and in the general direction on the waterfall's lake. He landed with a massive splash, which covered the rest of them with droplet's of water. Shouts of 'I'm wet!' came from Rosalie and Alice, whilst the rest of them just laughed.

"Ugh, I smell like werewolf!" Emmett complained, brushing his clothes as if that would make a difference.

"Here, take a swim!" Jasper helped Edward push Emmett into the pool, revenge for earlier. Edward raised an eyebrow to Bella, as he stood behind Rosalie. Bella understanding what he wanted – namely revenge – stood behind Alice. The two of them were watching Emmett and Jacob have a water splashing fight like school children.

"Fancy a dip?" Edward whispered into Rosalie's ears, and as she screamed she sailed through the air, before taking the plunge. Alice, who had remained stationary with a vision through this, suddenly screamed;

"No, Bella, don't!" Too late, she was already careening through the air, and landed with little splash, surprisingly, into the water. She had further notice of the dive though.

"I think we have had our swim already for the day, Edward" Bella smiled, and Edward laughed.

"I whole heartedly agree!" He beamed, and with a wave to Renesmee, Bella grabbed Edward's hand and ran off into the jungle, a head start before the others. Leaving the screams of indignation behind, they laughed as they silently ran through the forest.

Meanwhile, back at the waterfall everybody was starting to get out, though Emmett and Jacob were still fighting. Jasper, the only one not to get pushed (or thrown) in was helping Alice out of the pool, and consoling her as she moaned about her damp clothes.

"On the plus side, the see through look is a very good one on you" Jasper praised, and Alice grinned.

"I might just let you off for that" she countered, and the two gathered their things and ran off into the jungle, leaving Rosalie, Emmett, Jacob and Renesmee behind.

"Emmett! Get out, NOW! WE HAVE TO BEAT THEM!" Rosalie urged, hoisting herself out of the pool and gasping in disdain, as she took in her soaked image.

"You look hot!" Emmett shouted, and Rosalie smiled wryly. That was one way of putting it.

"I'll get you for this, Emmett" Jacob vowed, swimming across the pool to gather this things. Nessie circled around in order to helpfully pick up the stuff, and when he was out Jacob stripped his wet shirt, put in the pack and without looking back tore off with Renesmee into the jungle.

"How are we going to win now?" Rosalie asked Emmett, as he sauntered towards her.

"How we always do" he shrugged, and an evil grin emerged on Rosalie's face.

"We can cheat?" She asked, rubbing her hands together.

"I've already planned out the route" he grinned back, the two partners in crime.

"Then what are we waiting for? I love you" she smiled, and he gave her a cheeky one back.

"I know" with an eyebrow quirk she laughed, and the two raced off in a different direction to the others.

In the bush, just a few metres away, Carlisle and Esme hid. They had, as Bella had predicted, caught up to them. And just in time too. Carlisle turned off the recording button and put the camera back in his pack.

"This is the best technology" he sighed contentedly, and thought about all the antics he had just caught on tape.

"They won't be happy" Esme's voice sang, and Carlisle laughed.

"When are they ever, my dear?" She smiled, the question very true.

"You're right, of course. Now, let's see what happens next" Esme suggested, and they got up from their hiding place.

"It's sure to be...different" Carlisle concluded, and Esme curtly nodded. Finally all the Cullen's left the waterfall behind, on their way to the finish line. The race was almost over.

**AN – One of my favourite chapters so far, as you can see from the big (or big for ME anyway) word count. Hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it. And I hope you like the little Twilight movie reference there with New Moon/Old Sun. Reviews are most welcome, and would make my day!**


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